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Death is my goal

Death is my goal

pathetic failure
Aug 25, 2022
516
told my mother and i regret it,
never telling anyone irl about anything anymore.
 
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Reactions: Shikamaru
Hirokami

Hirokami

Out of order
Feb 21, 2021
607
My mom knows I have a history of suicidal ideation. She doesn't like the fact that I have those thoughts, though there's not much she can do. She's convinced herself I won't try anything, at least, so it's not like I'm not suicide watch. My father knew, too, as I voluntarily admitted myself when I was 16 due to constant breakdowns; same deal with him, too, as the professionals told both of them that suicidal thoughts were "normal".
 
FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,886
Nope

Everyone believes i am happy because I am so good at pretending, lying and hiding my true feelings. I gave up years ago reaching out to family and friends whenever I was depressed because nobody listened or took me seriously.

Had people just listened to me and actually helped me when I said I was depressed at 21 years old I wouldn't be here on Sanactioned Suicide and I wouldn't be planning to kill myself when I turn 30.
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
They've known in the past, but they don't know now or just how far they go
 
B

Banshee

Student
Oct 25, 2021
154
I think I've been lucky in keeping it to myself. I read too many post about family/friend intervention. Knowing they won't see it coming gives me a little bit of peace.
 
blue_muse

blue_muse

Mage
Jan 31, 2021
553
My relative knows and is just counting down time until I go through with it, so **** can bask in the outpouring of sympathy and condolences from others while secretly being delighted. The same goes for my relative's offspring, who will put on a more controlled award-winning performance of public grief. Their only upset will be one less person to bully, control, abuse (verbally and mentally), gaslight, manipulate—you get it.
 
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Reactions: lachrymost
O

onetapgandhi

Student
Oct 4, 2022
119
I don't think so even though I have explicitly told them this several times. I even showed them my SA reagent bottle and they still don't believe me. I guess they are in for a casual surprise🤷‍♂️
 
lachrymost

lachrymost

finger on the eject button
Oct 4, 2022
349
Yes. I talk about it a lot. My partner is supportive of my right to die on my own terms, although he loves me and would miss me. It means so much to have my autonomy respected like that.

I've told my mother as well. Thankfully she knows there's nothing more she can do for me. I don't think she'd try to commit me unless I was literally threatening to do it immediately.
 
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Reactions: Per Ardua Ad Astra, NoLightRemains and blue_muse
S

Sad_Sack

Experienced
Oct 3, 2022
261
My wife knows. It puts her under a lot if stress. That and my constant complaining and misery. Unfortunately I think my kids know too. I don't think they know how serious it is though. My wife knows about my first attempt and why I was hospitalized but we let the kids think it was over medication issues. I'm so full of guilt over all of this. I wish at least my wife could experience what I'm going through for just a day. It's so damn lonely and frustrating.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: Per Ardua Ad Astra

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