It seems like they are trying to distract you. The more you think about future plans, the less you want to ctb.Yeah they do and I've even told them about my previous attempts. They continue to ignore me so it's safe to say that they don't care.
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that_guy2611
Student
- Mar 17, 2018
- 187
Brokensaddle
Student
- Sep 28, 2020
- 186
I have recordings of my family telling me to commit suicide so they can take my money and inheritance. I have show them both to the police and social services. But nobody done anything to stop it. I feel it's because I'm male and it's my mum and sister who are hurting me. I'm also autistic which make me more vulnerable. Nobody cares about me or my pain that's why I wanna CTB
Minibosterita
Just trying to fill the void
- Mar 9, 2021
- 59
They've known I wanted out since I was 4. Went to doctors and they thought everything was fine. Until my last attempt 2 years ago when my partner at the time told them. Now my mom knows I have a plan so she's babysitting me.
Ginnn
Student
- Aug 20, 2022
- 123
Most of my family is just a bunch of idiots, now I understand how I ended up like this, my parents didn't even care about raising a mentally stable child, so there's no point in telling them how I feel and what I want to do.
StolenLife
Warlock
- Sep 19, 2022
- 740
Yes, they do. They care and try to help me but the problem is that a lot of my problems currently are caused by their lack of action and understanding at the time when traumatic stuff happened. It's only now that they realize that they screwed up.
NoLightRemains
I found my light again. Namu Amida Butsu
- Sep 26, 2021
- 374
Same here. My father caused a lot of my trauma but due to life circumstances I live with him again. In his defense, he honestly has put in effort to be a better person. However, he feels like I just need to "get over it" basically, as if I can undo the damage he has done to me.
Silent.Tears
Experienced
- Nov 5, 2021
- 282
I did mention it once but I don't think they understand the extent of my desparation. I just can't anymore
actual_fox
Arcanist
- Sep 15, 2022
- 469
I am sorry your family is so cruel.
What If you have spent most of that money so they don't get jack shit?
I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, so I expect my Dad suspects but I've never told him outright. He is all I have left of my close family. He says things like- 'I don't think you know how much I love you'- Which of course is lovely but it's also a 'don't do anything 'stupid'' in its tone.
Honestly, I'm hanging on for him. Sometimes I really want to say- 'Actually- you don't know how much I love you- you're the one thing stopping me from ending this shit.'
I sort of feel- if I can manage to hang on- it's better he never knows. He would only feel upset and worried. I know I'm lucky to have someone that cares but unfortunately- it doesn't always mean they can help does it?
Honestly, I'm hanging on for him. Sometimes I really want to say- 'Actually- you don't know how much I love you- you're the one thing stopping me from ending this shit.'
I sort of feel- if I can manage to hang on- it's better he never knows. He would only feel upset and worried. I know I'm lucky to have someone that cares but unfortunately- it doesn't always mean they can help does it?
actual_fox
Arcanist
- Sep 15, 2022
- 469
My mom might suspect something, not my father, nor bro nor extended family which I have frequent contact with. What makes me feel guilty is that my grandparents seem emotionally dependent on me, even telling me that, calling me every week and stuff. They might have feared i was going to pull something like this in the past tho, I suspect they feared this.
Елена
Member
- Aug 30, 2022
- 87
makethepainstop
Visionary
- Sep 16, 2022
- 2,029
No they do not! If they did I'd be locked into hospital somewhere. No thanks, I'll keep this cat in the bag.
Made4TV
A hopeless hope junkie
- Sep 17, 2018
- 574
This is an interesting question. I'm in the unique position (I think) to know the family of a former member here who ctb. She told her family repeatedly for the prior year that she was rational and committed to ctb at a near future date. Everyone knew but they couldn't really do much except watch over her, which they did, well and lovingly (and she felt their love and loved them, but her life was in ruins, outside her control).
Interestingly, she agonized a lot about method and timing, and finally realized there was no way she could do it without a member of her family finding her. Since the progression of her illness she'd always been with family so going away would have raised immediate red flags.
I know from reading all her writings, she felt a bit backed into a corner by this. But did the best she could as far as trying to tell and prepare everyone. Every family member I talked to said she'd been talking openly about it for some time, which did upset them, naturally.
I guess for me, I've thought through whether I'd like to warn people or not, but then I look at this person I knew. I am quite close to several members of her family, and you know what? I'm not sure all that preparing and thinking of them did any good. They were/are still shocked, angry, felt betrayed, etc. I've heard from 2 family members that it's horrible that she picked the person she did to find her. And this was several years ago.
So my conclusion is that when it comes to suicide you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.
Interestingly, she agonized a lot about method and timing, and finally realized there was no way she could do it without a member of her family finding her. Since the progression of her illness she'd always been with family so going away would have raised immediate red flags.
I know from reading all her writings, she felt a bit backed into a corner by this. But did the best she could as far as trying to tell and prepare everyone. Every family member I talked to said she'd been talking openly about it for some time, which did upset them, naturally.
I guess for me, I've thought through whether I'd like to warn people or not, but then I look at this person I knew. I am quite close to several members of her family, and you know what? I'm not sure all that preparing and thinking of them did any good. They were/are still shocked, angry, felt betrayed, etc. I've heard from 2 family members that it's horrible that she picked the person she did to find her. And this was several years ago.
So my conclusion is that when it comes to suicide you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.
GrizzlyGrapefruit
Student
- Jun 17, 2019
- 123
I've been saying it out loud for many years now, but I'm pretty sure that they believe that I'm kidding.
I find it funny because I know I say it off-handedly a lot, but there have been numerous occasions where I tell them very sternly about what I feel I will end up doing.
I find it funny because I know I say it off-handedly a lot, but there have been numerous occasions where I tell them very sternly about what I feel I will end up doing.
wanttodie
Enlightened
- Apr 19, 2018
- 1,827
Lullaby
🌙
- Mar 9, 2022
- 682
No…which is crazy considering I've been depressed for so many years and have past attempts.
Whenever my mood gets more worse than usual, they're like "Are you depressed?"
Then I'm sitting there thinking "It never went away."
All the signs are here, but I'm sure they'd be shocked, which is disappointing. I've never gotten much support from anyone, especially my family, when it came to treatment or trying to get better. So how they'll feel when I'm gone doesn't bother me as much as it used to.
Whenever my mood gets more worse than usual, they're like "Are you depressed?"
Then I'm sitting there thinking "It never went away."
All the signs are here, but I'm sure they'd be shocked, which is disappointing. I've never gotten much support from anyone, especially my family, when it came to treatment or trying to get better. So how they'll feel when I'm gone doesn't bother me as much as it used to.
CTB Dream
Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
- Sep 17, 2022
- 2,789
Family abuse not understand, it actually better not know , have peace cab method, already famly abusive intrusive , now see potato vegetable noy understand think ok ctb what
Brokensaddle
Student
- Sep 28, 2020
- 186
I forgot to add when I was in hospital under section. My abusive family trashed my room, throw out and stole half my stuff. They found my sn and razor blades and told me to ctb. They couldn't give two shits if I died this moment.
Yes I'm literally only here because my mom made me promise to not go, and that if I did she would follow soon after.
Yes I'm literally only here because my mom made me promise to not go, and that if I did she would follow soon after.
Yes I'm literally only here because my mom made me promise to not go, and that if I did she would follow soon after.
Al0neAlwayz
In the end, it doesn't even matter...
- Sep 10, 2022
- 65
My family does not know as they will not have anything to do with me. They know about my previous attempts, so when I do it they won't be shocked or surprised. I don't really have friends, just acquaintances, who also know of my past attempts, so they won't be surprised either. I wish I had my family and people who love me. It is my own fault though. I made my mistakes and now I get to pay for them for the rest of my Hopefully short life.
Final-push123
Internet wizard
- Jan 28, 2020
- 91
Damn shikamaru want to catch the bus too damn, it really rough out here...sorry had too, Naruto is one of my favorite animes
Anyway I did some strong hinting at a old bloke of mine but I pretty much pretend like I'm fine
Anyway I did some strong hinting at a old bloke of mine but I pretty much pretend like I'm fine
They kind of do. They know about suicidal ideation and view it as a normal part of life when things get tough. I don't think they know the extent of my research though.
onlyanimalsaregood
Unlovable 💔 Rest in peace CommitSudoku 🤍
- Mar 11, 2022
- 1,329
They've known about my wish and attempts to die since I was 11. They don't care.
MatthewV3
Student
- Dec 15, 2021
- 107
Dear Lord no I would never hear the end of it. I never discuss any important issues with other people. The only people who know the real me are on here. I've lived my ENTIRE life as an actor. No one knows me. I think it's hilarious people have this idea of me and I'm frequently saying to myself as they are talking "if only you knew". I think almost everyone on here lives a lie to others to a greater or lesser degree. The younger ones on here have obvious pain whereas older ones like me have learned to grow a shell and to present a face to the world. As I've said before, my life is to appear normal but avoiding other people as much as humanly possible.
theboy
Illuminated
- Jul 15, 2022
- 3,119
