Discussion Does your familly love you?

[Ailashan]

Hi there,

Since i've been on this site i have seen a lot of people explaining that they are afraid to make their familly sad if they ever die, and that they can't or hesitate to ctb for this reason. I didn't know that so many people here were genuinely loved by their peers, it kinda surprised me to be honest. I thought that people with familly issues like me were more common. What about you guys? How's your relationship with your familly?

 

[justcallmeJ]

No contact at all with my father and that side of the family, My mom is an abusive manipulating gaslighting psycho, my older sister the the same as her but worse (Thank god she moved out). One uncle comes and goes, depending on how alcoholic he is. Other uncle comes and goes, depending if he is simping or not. The only people of my family I actually care about are my grandparents, but they are getting pretty old now. All other family members I maybe see once a year are on a birthday or something. I want to move away far away from my family when I get the chance. Everyone except my grandparents, they bring me no joy at all.

 

[Foxykaavn]

Virtually no one on the planet cares about my existence which is one of the main reasons I want to leave this planet and find peace

 

[Darkover]

they couldn't give a shit about me even though my mum tells me she loves me all the time i don't feel any love at all if they ever cared for me they wouldn't of had me in the first place

 

[Seered Doom]

They say they do, but actions speak louder than words. Only sister cares

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

My relationship with my family is good. My parents are incredibly loving people, but I have let them down countless times and am burdening them right now. There were things that they did that I was very upset about, and a medication they made me take that contributed to a seperate health problem, but ultimately I know that they had my own best interest at heart. My siblings were nice to me as well. I never really deserved the family around me or the opportunities I was given.

I want to commit suicide because I know I won't be able to succeed, and I don't want to continue dragging the people around me down with more and more disappointment. I also have no friends and am in constant pain. Everything looks blurry and it hurts from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep. Sometimes it is slightly less and some times it is significantly more, but the pain is always there. I have been told by the doctor that there is no treatment for it. I look incredibly ugly too (no matter what I do I can't find a girlfriend, either because of my terrible looks and my shitty personality).

When I type all of that out I realize how selfish it is, but I can't stand the isolation and the pain. They will likely try to get me to live independently from them to live my own life soon. The biggest challenge will be trying to write something that will convey to them that it was never their fault.

 

[R_N]

I would say they do and they would be in pain if I am gone.

But that doesn't make things better just worse.


This doesn't mean I had a happy family union btw. My parents divorced when I was 2. I barely saw my mom till 11. Didn't really spend time with my dad much (until later) but he likes me. Stepsister likes me as well.

Now my nephews like me too much and this is where I fucked up. If I ctb'd before my sister divorced they wouldn't get close to me. Now they visit sometimes and we get along too well, so they ended up liking me. They are too young...

 

[DeadHead]

I wish I had a family

 

[-w-]

Me personally, It's kind of sucked ever sience my Mom died from cancer but my Dad always helps me out when he can and I love him. My Brother can be a bit of a pain in the ass but I know he loves me too.

 

[almondmilk]

i guess. i like to think that yes, but they aren't the best people at showing it. i love my family a lot. i would never hurt them. =(((

 

[Timelapse]

They love me.

But they don't like me.

 

[Ailashan]

I wish I had a family

Im sorry to hear that homie, would you like to talk about it? I wanna know more of you

 

[Life'sA6itch]

No they don't. Mom and dad gave my older and younger siblings, cars, braces to straighten their teeth, driving lessons, they went to their proms and graduations and to college right after high school. I was given none of that and I was the middle child, the only one who actually needed jaw surgery & braces. Never went to my own proms or graduation, not a damned person in my "family" even mentioned it or any of the other glaring differences in how I was treated by my own parents and I was never actually hugged or told I love you by my mom. All this is on top of abuse and neglect particularly from my mom ever since I was a toddler and my mom beating me and forcing me to lie to my dad about her cheating that she would take both me and my younger sister out with her for. We sat in an adjacent living room or were sent out to play while at other men's homes. FF to being adults, family "friend" and my older sister STOLE $73,333 of my inheritance, an inheritance I never knew about until AFTER IT WAS STOLEN. I had to fight to become administrator when our mom died just to unravel all this and find out who stole what. Local "authorities" refused to do anything. Only because I ordered mom's house sold did we all split 10,000 each after I paid our mom's bills. I don't really speak to my sisters and am continuing to hate life after a very bad childhood. My younger sister I still care for, older sister will die before she ever sees my face without me smashing hers. Who says blood is thicker than water????? This is why it feels like life itself is trying to kill me. I've wanted out and tried for the 1st time on the night of my 13th birthday and somehow failed an addt'l 2 times. Just want the pain to end. I feel like an eff up in every possible way

 

[username8888]

They don't mind if I take my own life. They simply don't care. We are simply like NPC interacting each other.

 

[Heading to Darkness]

Hi there,

Since i've been on this site i have seen a lot of people explaining that they are afraid to make their familly sad if they ever die, and that they can't or hesitate to ctb for this reason. I didn't know that so many people here were genuinely loved by their peers, it kinda surprised me to be honest. I thought that people with familly issues like me were more common. What about you guys? How's your relationship with your familly?

my family have been extremely understanding my siblings and mother always asking how i am etc(we are miles apart) my older children who now have their own and my younger ones don't really know quite how low i was over the years and that i have taken the decision to ctb no one knows (though they are aware of previous attempts) so I've been lucky that way, all my issues lie out side family and with me being at battle with too many demons and lots of self hatred.

 

[Life'sA6itch]

Virtually no one on the planet cares about my existence which is one of the main reasons I want to leave this planet and find peace

I feel the same about my "life"

 

[Some place nice]

I had to stop talking to my dad my mom has trapped me in her house my oldest sister thinks I'm staying in my room all day for attention the the middle sister is alright. I feel she cares but I also know she doesn't do well with other peoples baggage. So she distanced herself from me.

 

[tinyghost]

they "love" me. they say they do and seem to want to have contact with me. but they kicked me out, refuse to accept my gender identity, traumatized and abused me for years, and still wont admit any wrong doing. so what good is that sort of "love"

 

[FuneralCry]

It's fine apart from the fact that I will always despise how they forced me to suffer here in the first place. It could never be something compassionate burdening someone with the ability to be tormented in this cruel and repulsive existence, more than anything I wish I was left eternally unaware.

 

[WonderingSoul]

No. They are one of the main reasons I'm on this forum. They wouldn't be sad.

 

[ultraviolence]

Obligational love and situational love. Not real love. Real love doesn't drive you to suicide

 

[MeltingBrain]

I am loved by my family and I will traumatize them badly .

 

[Forever Sleep]

By my Dad- yes. I'm hanging on for him. The rest of my family I am largely estranged from but they would still care about me I imagine. My step relations- things are more strained.

I do understand why people kind of envy those with close and loving family relationships. It's got to be awful to feel entirely alone. That said- no matter how much they are there or want to help- sometimes a person's own issues are too big to be solved by others. Ultimately- it's still us that has to navigate this life.

Plus, I think we change as people when we are suicidal. In a way, I think a part of us has already died. We may not be able to get back to that. Still- I think it's that old self our families truly love and want to hold on to. If that part of us has truly gone though- it can feel like an irritation. They want us to be something we're not. (For our sake as well as theirs.) So- we can feel tethered here by people holding on to a memory of who we were that bears little resemblance to reality.

Plus, while they love us, they may not be very good at accepting us as we are. In which case- although it's said from a place of care and love- they will still come out with the same platitudes that pro-lifers do: 'Things will get better... You just need to look on the positive side... We all have to do things we don't want to in life...' etc. Which- honestly isn't very helpful.

So- while I completely get why people with no one fantasize about having a loving, supportive family, I don't think the reality of it is always how they imagine.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

They love me.

But they don't like me.

Sorry, could you clarify what you mean by this? I feel like I've heard it before

Now to answer the question, I do feel like my family takes good care of me and I feel like most parents in their situation would have just gotten rid of me instead of taking care of me so they deserve some praise there. However, I still wished my parents did more. My dad doesn't even interact with me despite us living in the same house so there is no love or connection there. My mum does try a little bit but our interactions are at a minimum because of how I stay in my bed all day.

Also, I'd say that my mum, while she does do her responsibilities really well, she doesn't do anything beyond this. I'm still trying to understand all of this and I'm wondering if I'm facing emotional neglect. Also, she prioritises her own ideals over mine as she wants me to get married via an arranged marriage and to have kids (neither of which I want to do but rather something I'm forced to do if I stay in this house)

So, all in all, I'm really confused on whether they love me or not

 

[Moniker]

My mom loves me and so does my sister on mom's side of the family. I love them too.

My dad loves me too, but my feelings are complex. He beat all of his kids and, as a result, literally all of them have serious problems. My only brother killed himself. His daughters are also mental trainwrecks. I'm his youngest - different mom from the rest. She was protective, but I still got abused by my dad pretty often.

Anyway, the abuse stopped around high school. He's openly told me I'm his favorite kid and I've succeeded in many parts where he's failed in life. He's even gone as far as to recognize how awful he'd been to his kids. I don't feel obligated to forgive him. I'm not sure what to make of him. He also doesn't know how I feel about it all.

 

[Aergia]

Conditionally. They love their religion more so their love for me is completely contingent on my ostensible subscription to it.

 

[satomii]

My relationship with my mom is.... Idk anymore before it was my mom emotionally abusing me... Now she doesn't care at all about me... ( hopefully) I know she loves me but she doesn't want me around she hates me for everything I do and have always done... I'm like a burden to her and she has made that clear many timess.. She wants me dead the only reason I'm not killed by her is my dad..., he'll kill my mother with words telling her how awful of a parent she is.., and I think she knows it already


My dad he hasn't been present in my life since I turned 10..well he left us when I was 10 because of work.., nothing we can blame him for.. He left and I meet him few times a year... I'm a disappointment to him too ik.., he is always stressed because of me... So yea....
Also him not being present in my life really effected it but we can't blame anyone for it what had to happen happened there's nothing I can do


With my brother it's not great as well.., we don't get alone he gives me deadly stares everytime we see each other because obviously because of the stuff I do..,, he surely wants me dead because of the stress I'm causing everyone.., so yea he even said that to my face so it clears up everything ig


In summary my relationship with both my parents isn't great at alll.., it has caused many issues in me but it's alright I'll be fine

 

[deadbody]

No.

 

[satomii]

Sorry, could you clarify what you mean by this? I feel like I've heard it before

Now to answer the question, I do feel like my family takes good care of me and I feel like most parents in their situation would have just gotten rid of me instead of taking care of me so they deserve some praise there. However, I still wished my parents did more. My dad doesn't even interact with me despite us living in the same house so there is no love or connection there. My mum does try a little bit but our interactions are at a minimum because of how I stay in my bed all day.

Also, I'd say that my mum, while she does do her responsibilities really well, she doesn't do anything beyond this. I'm still trying to understand all of this and I'm wondering if I'm facing emotional neglect. Also, she prioritises her own ideals over mine as she wants me to get married via an arranged marriage and to have kids (neither of which I want to do but rather something I'm forced to do if I stay in this house)

So, all in all, I'm really confused on whether they love me or not

You know it's almost the same with me and my mum... I get how you feeling.. I'm confused about the same thing soo same confusion club? Wanna join? Would be great we can figure out stuff together... Well yea I do it...








( also that confusion club thing is a joke if you really want to talk about it and sort out stuff we can talk)

 

[TapeMachine]

Yeah, they love me; but I don't think they like me all that much, I don't know. I never hear from anyone unless they need my help.

My recently deceased brother was the only one who regularly reached out to me. I hear from my mom every now and then, but that's it now.

I don't know why I stay alive for them.