Leavesfromthevine

Leavesfromthevine

Untreated Trauma
Nov 23, 2023
339
I used to be able to sleep to escape life and suicidal thoughts but recently I haven't been able to get peace even my sleep. I'll either have super depressing dreams or even suicidal dreams and when I wake up I feel just as bad as when I went to sleep.

Is this similar for anyone else?
 
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edu0z

edu0z

carried away by a moonlight shadow
Aug 25, 2021
552
I used to be able to sleep to escape life and suicidal thoughts but recently I haven't been able to get peace even my sleep. I'll either have super depressing dreams or even suicidal dreams and when I wake up I feel just as bad as when I went to sleep.

Is this similar for anyone else?
I don't usually have depressing or suicidal dreams, but it does happen to me many times that I lose sleep for a few days when I am under a lot of stress. At that moment I am not able to fall asleep for more than just a few minutes, as if something kept waking me up constantly. I'm so sorry you're going through that.
 
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Y

Yuna is My Waifu

Member
Nov 19, 2023
80
I have Sleep Apnoea so i barely get any sleep anyway, I'm always tired.

Too answer the question, being asleep is the only time i get to escape being awake so i guess its better.
 
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_Broken_alice

_Broken_alice

She/Her
Nov 19, 2023
226
Sleep hasn't helped in a long time. We don't sleep well and haven't for a very long time thanks to constant physical pain, so our sleep is really messed up. For us, going to sleep is dreaded every night. Every time we dream, it is a nightmare completely centered around one of the many things that have broken us. We are even suicidal in our dreams. Just recently, we almost impulsively CTB right after waking up from one such nightmare. No conscious decision behind it, and certainly would have been a method we do not wish to use for many reasons. We just woke up, and only came to when we realized what we were about to do. Nothing about our environment processed correctly, and even though we were up, we were mentally stuck in the nightmare. Somehow, our dreams are even worse than our reality and we often cannot tell them apart until being up for a while, sometimes not even then like today.
 
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SeaBreeze

SeaBreeze

Suicideation?
Jul 11, 2023
146
For me, sleep type and time depend alot on current emotions when I turn off the lights and through the night. That's why I usually watch or listen to a few minutes of comical TV just before.

It definitely helps with suicidal thoughts or dreams I might have while lying there
 
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the_path_of_sorrows

the_path_of_sorrows

Different routes, same destination
Nov 26, 2023
100
It does, ever so slightly. I usually don't get more than 5 hrs a night due to inability to fall asleep quickly and insanely busy schedule (best solution to escape any thoughts related to ctb), suggestions in my head tend to worsen significantly if I don't get those 5 hours for a few nights in a row. These thoughts aren't so loud when I get 6 hours, that noticeable difference is everything to me. It makes me way too happy.

Even when my dreams (if I get those 6 hours) are related to ctb or just seeing death, dead bodies, brutal stuff. I don't remember having a dream that's not related to death. Doesn't matter, I would prefer it this way, even if haunting me for weeks. Sleep is important for managing those thoughts.
 
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blacksand

blacksand

Experienced
May 2, 2023
215
No I feel cornered by my depression. Sleep used to help and now it doesn't. Summertime used to be better vs winter but now it isn't. Driving used to help now it doesn't. Hard labour at my construction job used to help now it doesn't. Socializing used to help now it doesn't. Alcohol used to help now it doesn't.

Nowhere left to run just sit here shivering with fear and guilt and pain.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
8,889
I still love to sleep. I do have anxiety dreams sometimes. I don't know that it helps with my suicidal thoughts as such. There's maybe only a few seconds when I wake up that I feel ok. Then, all the thoughts come flooding in when I realise what life I have. I guess it's still a way to escape for a bit though. I'm sorry you are struggling.
 
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BlockHammer

BlockHammer

Confused loser
Oct 25, 2023
232
Sleep is just helping me with my physical fatigue, it didn't help me at all with my depression, eventhough im not really that suicidal but i do sometimes dreams about wanting to die like let myself eat a cyanide pill or letting myself getting crush by a falling helicopter
 
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T

Thefuture

Member
Feb 28, 2022
78
I used to be able to sleep to escape life and suicidal thoughts but recently I haven't been able to get peace even my sleep. I'll either have super depressing dreams or even suicidal dreams and when I wake up I feel just as bad as when I went to sleep.

Is this similar for anyone else?
I used to LOVE sleep to escape from life too it actually worked. But now, I also don't feel the peace I felt it used to give me... all my mistakes and fears have bleed into my dreams and in them I feel depressed, confused and anxious. I also wake up in fear instantly, knowing I am back in my prison. My mind plays on a loop of all the things I don't wanna think about. I then force myself to go back to sleep if I can and have the worst dreams.
 
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ve.nin

ve.nin

Text
Nov 17, 2023
212
I used to be able to sleep to escape life and suicidal thoughts but recently I haven't been able to get peace even my sleep. I'll either have super depressing dreams or even suicidal dreams and when I wake up I feel just as bad as when I went to sleep.

Is this similar for anyone else?
Yes. It's even worse for me
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,235
In my case no amount of temporary sleep could ever bring me relief as long as the chance of waking is always there. Only a dreamless and eternal sleep could ever bring me peace, the thought of sleeping for all eternity is all that comforts me, to have the ability to exist is such a terrible burden that just causes suffering.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
10,928
I don't think that sleep will help you getting rid of suicidal ideation. Sleep usually doesn't eliminate the actual triggers for your suicidal thoughts. I have a pretty good sleep although I'm suicidal and most of the time wish to be better dead than alive bc it would prevent me from so much more potential suffering. But sleeping is not gonna change anything what's making me suicidal.
 
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T

thatlatealready

traffic's wild tonight
Apr 7, 2023
39
You aren't alone in this.

I've always been a lucid dreamer, except for when I have nightmares.

Sleep provides an escape sometimes - it depends mostly on if my brain decides I need to relive horrors or not - but the SI is always worse again when I wake up. I hate having to deal with getting up and facing the world every single day.

I'm religious about getting my 8-9 hours. It's supposed to help. I'm not sure it does.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
4,283
Not really
 
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