Does one need friends?

[EmotionallyUnstable]

Hey,

I thought maybe somebody could relate here. Is it weird to say you don't have any friends, let alone a circle of friends? It's not like I don't have any connections at all, just wouldn't call them friends because how infrequent the contact is. In fact, since school time I have been that typical kind of loner sitting somewhere in a corner during recess. I did have a few people around me especially when it got to Highschool. Even went on birthdays, overnight stay, etc.

The thing is I always end up having some kind of feud with the people I have contact with. I don't know why, guess I get hurt pretty quickly or maybe I am just not that sociable after all. Even when being among family I tend to retreat. Now I'm living alone in another city, living my life on my own without anything you could remotely call a friendship. But honestly - I don't mind it. I like being on my own.

I am just not sure whether it's normal because everyone says humans would be social beings. I am not antisocial, in fact helpful when I can. I just don't like to seek after other people. Thinking about working with others in job makes my stomach ache. That's why I'm not particularly excited about entering the job world some day - also due to my shyness and introversion.

Anyway, people here who have issues with social interactions too?

 

[irrelevant_string]

If you don't have a problem with it, it's absolutelly fine.
The only reason I ever felt bad about it is that my mother kept telling me that it isn't normal, and that not being able to find anyone to interact with means I am the problem.
As I grew older I realized how imperfect my parents are themselves, so I don't value their opinion as much anymore.
Yes, the society will make you feel inadequate, and sometimes you may question your self worth, but forcing yourself to do something for the sake of appearing normal isn't the best solution.

What I know for sure is that whenever I do decide to break my habit and go out with someone, I regret it immediatelly. I could keep doing that or I could just accept the fact that I'm not suited for social interactions. It may be that I'm just unstable, sensitive and distrustful but it doesn't matter, the fact is, I don't enjoy being around people, especially if I'm forced to be, as was the case in school. Luckily, university lectures aren't obligatory.

 

[not_a_robot]

I'm too annoying to have friends. I'm over it. Cats and dogs still love me.

 

[21Neberg]

I'm too annoying to have friends. I'm over it. Cats and dogs still love me.

I don't think you're annoying at all. You've been here for a little more than a month, and you've already shown yourself to be a great person.

 

[inconsequential]

Neither of my parents had friends. I feel normal with my 3 internet friends.

 

[not_a_robot]

I don't think you're annoying at all. You've been here for a little more than a month, and you've already shown yourself to be a great person.

Life is just a Choco Taco.

 

[Bärchen]

I dont have any friends. Its hard for me to talk, cause i have nothing to say. I talk with my cats on one day more than with my coworkers in a week. I tried Skype with people from here, it was great but i said pretty much nothing.

 

[Halo13]

I have a couple acquaintances IRL. I don't have an inner circle of friends or anything similar. Doesn't bother me and yes, it is said humans are social creatures - but not every human is particularly social. That's such a broad statement when people are multifaceted. I see nothing inherently wrong with being a loner or more introverted.

 

[Darkhaven]

Yep, i can definately relate.
I don't have a single friend. To be honest, maybe i never had a real friend. Sure i had other boys i used to hang out in school. But only in school, because outside school i only have my family, at least for now.
In high school my social isolation got worse, and i ended up cutting ties with the only 2 or 3 persons i had some closeness.
Nowadays i'm in college but the only social connections i have is like saying good afternoon to one or two people, nothing more. I'm always alone listening to my music, while everyone else around me is chilling, talking and socializing. I just can't do that. I can't relate to anyone else. I'm quick to hate and i'm simply unable to forgive any slight by other people. For as soon as someone has a considerable slight or disapoints me, even if it isn't something too grievous, i won't be able to look at that person in the same manner.
I end up cutting ties with everyone else mainly because i can't relate to people. I find people boring, stupid, repetitive, basic...
If one needs friends? I think so. Unless you are lucky enough to be able to sustain yourself alone i think being all by yourself leaves you too fragile and vulnerable to life's most common problems: money, disease, etc.
Having someone you can't rely on isn't good, that's where family may come in, but guess what? I also have problems with my close family. So i wish i could be independent like yourself! I'm still fighting for it.

 

[21Neberg]

Life is just a Choco Taco.

i dont understand they seems delicious on google but life certainly isn't

 

[Halo13]

i dont understand they seems delicious on google but life certainly isn't

I almost wrote the exact same thing. Choco Tacos ARE delicious. Life is not.

 

[262653]

I don't. But my family fully covers my expenses so we have different experiences.
I don't view myself as fiendship material because I don't have any gold income or any valuable knowledge to share, or well-defined personality, or whatever makes a person likable. Yes, I think that personal usefulness is what keeps friendship intact. And as Darkhaven stated,

I find people boring, stupid, repetitive, basic...

Change it with fun, smart, creative/inventive, complex and it sound infinitely more attractive to me. Is it ever about the person, or what does one has/dosen't have?
How that differs from being attracted to materially rich people? And so it happened that I have unrealistically high plank for friends...
High standards + low value = no friendship, simple as that, right? Why spend time on mediocrities when you can you could read a book written by an exceptionally gifted and hard working writer? Or a good movie, game, comedy show... Time is precious, we only have 24 hours per day and there are so much more interesting things to do than listening about a recent football game, or about hardships of sustaining marriage, or some stupid ass songs he keeps singing... This bullshit is just far beyond the bottom of my priorities list.

 

[bacardirum]

It depends on what you mean by friends, as some are just pointless, but a real true friend is worth having...

 

[FatherDeath]

Honestly I have felt that way for a very long time and this is the first I have heard of someone feeling the same way The only difference is I'm constantly angry for no reason I constantly treat the people closest to me like shit and when people come into my life I seem to push them away, I don't want to be like this but it just happens and then again I also feel like I get mad at people because it's just who I am? Idk maybe if you wanna chat on the topic you could dm me maybe we could help each other, and as for the workplace thing I completely understand that feeling lol have quit jobs because of the social anxiety but the best way to deal with it in a work place is absolutely don't make friends keep it work and professional it will save you ALOT of drama and hassle

 

[DepressionsAHo]

I have 2.
Only two.
I make a good first impression but after a select few months, (I calculated it actually) people stop liking me. Usually it doesn't bother me because I've been like this my whole life but sometimes the loneliness eats at me. I'm still a person though. I DO have feelings

 

[Mort]

For me friends are a wast of time they onely end up putting a knife in your back. Better of on your own then no one betrayed you tell lies about you or just plain let you down. I had sum one bin friends for about 7 years then one day just stop talking to me would not return my text or put up phone when i rang them . Even did sum letters but no reply so in the end sod them sod them all best on my own .

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Honestly I have felt that way for a very long time and this is the first I have heard of someone feeling the same way The only difference is I'm constantly angry for no reason I constantly treat the people closest to me like shit and when people come into my life I seem to push them away, I don't want to be like this but it just happens and then again I also feel like I get mad at people because it's just who I am? Idk maybe if you wanna chat on the topic you could dm me maybe we could help each other, and as for the workplace thing I completely understand that feeling lol have quit jobs because of the social anxiety but the best way to deal with it in a work place is absolutely don't make friends keep it work and professional it will save you ALOT of drama and hassle

I feel you on that angry bit
I read it's a side effect of depression. I snap on people often times for no reason. Maybe if y'all weren't so irritating sometimes I wouldn't snap on you

 

[FatherDeath]

I feel you on that angry bit
I read it's a side effect of depression. I snap on people often times for no reason. Maybe if y'all weren't so irritating sometimes I wouldn't snap on you

But then how do we fix the depression ‍

 

[ReverendGreen]

I have trouble meeting new people because I'm completely clueless as to how people can just start and maintain conversations with others. Any time I've met someone, they were the ones to initiate (and they regret initiating shortly afterwards).
What are you supposed to do when you have nothing interesting to say? Or when you cannot care about what the other person is saying at all?

Fortunately, thanks to taking extracurricular classes in high school, I stumbled into a group of friends that still keep in touch. Though they're all close to each other and not with me. We're in a group chat, so I can stay in the know, but I'm an outsider. I make contact with them once every couple months and it's always miserable.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

But then how do we fix the depression ‍

Lord knows
My answer is killing the brain. Wish it was as straight forward as those words.

 

[alizee]

Friends are invaluable for multiple reasons but finding a good friend is like finding a soul mate (difficult). Hearing an honest perspective other than your own is really valuable. Online doesn't compare and even when it's helpful. I think it's hard to have a good friend and some people miss out in life because of it being rare.

 

[_NoName_]

I'd still it has more to do with social pressure (family or people in general perceiving in bad light for being asocial), or fears of missed memories (fears that you may regret not experienicing activities in life once hitting an old age). That being said, I don't fee like I want or need friends as I don't let the enivronment influence my judgement.

 

[EmotionallyUnstable]

Yep, i can definately relate.
I don't have a single friend. To be honest, maybe i never had a real friend. Sure i had other boys i used to hang out in school. But only in school, because outside school i only have my family, at least for now.
In high school my social isolation got worse, and i ended up cutting ties with the only 2 or 3 persons i had some closeness.
Nowadays i'm in college but the only social connections i have is like saying good afternoon to one or two people, nothing more. I'm always alone listening to my music, while everyone else around me is chilling, talking and socializing. I just can't do that. I can't relate to anyone else. I'm quick to hate and i'm simply unable to forgive any slight by other people. For as soon as someone has a considerable slight or disapoints me, even if it isn't something too grievous, i won't be able to look at that person in the same manner.
I end up cutting ties with everyone else mainly because i can't relate to people. I find people boring, stupid, repetitive, basic...
If one needs friends? I think so. Unless you are lucky enough to be able to sustain yourself alone i think being all by yourself leaves you too fragile and vulnerable to life's most common problems: money, disease, etc.
Having someone you can't rely on isn't good, that's where family may come in, but guess what? I also have problems with my close family. So i wish i could be independent like yourself! I'm still fighting for it.

I can definitely relate to getting hurt quickly. So I will cut ties with people too. I'm also not that independent at all. In fact I'm really vulnerable too. Just trying to become more and more independent as time goes on. Since I moved out, I think I'm on a good way. You got to learn how to fight for yourself because people are egoistic, only thinking for their own good. I don't really believe in "true" friendship just like you see in some movies or series.

For me friends are a wast of time they onely end up putting a knife in your back. Better of on your own then no one betrayed you tell lies about you or just plain let you down. I had sum one bin friends for about 7 years then one day just stop talking to me would not return my text or put up phone when i rang them . Even did sum letters but no reply so in the end sod them sod them all best on my own .

Yeah, I feel like people will backstab you some day no matter how nice you've been to them. Just my experience.

Honestly I have felt that way for a very long time and this is the first I have heard of someone feeling the same way The only difference is I'm constantly angry for no reason I constantly treat the people closest to me like shit and when people come into my life I seem to push them away, I don't want to be like this but it just happens and then again I also feel like I get mad at people because it's just who I am? Idk maybe if you wanna chat on the topic you could dm me maybe we could help each other, and as for the workplace thing I completely understand that feeling lol have quit jobs because of the social anxiety but the best way to deal with it in a work place is absolutely don't make friends keep it work and professional it will save you ALOT of drama and hassle

Quite frankly, I'm scared about searching for a job because most of them will require you to have some kind of social skills. You need to be communicative for most of them.

It depends on what you mean by friends, as some are just pointless, but a real true friend is worth having...

I generally cannot trust people because they are going to betray me one day. I don't think I'll ever have this kind of relationship with anybody since I've never had it.

 

[Joannf]

Hey,

I thought maybe somebody could relate here. Is it weird to say you don't have any friends, let alone a circle of friends? It's not like I don't have any connections at all, just wouldn't call them friends because how infrequent the contact is. In fact, since school time I have been that typical kind of loner sitting somewhere in a corner during recess. I did have a few people around me especially when it got to Highschool. Even went on birthdays, overnight stay, etc.

The thing is I always end up having some kind of feud with the people I have contact with. I don't know why, guess I get hurt pretty quickly or maybe I am just not that sociable after all. Even when being among family I tend to retreat. Now I'm living alone in another city, living my life on my own without anything you could remotely call a friendship. But honestly - I don't mind it. I like being on my own.

I am just not sure whether it's normal because everyone says humans would be social beings. I am not antisocial, in fact helpful when I can. I just don't like to seek after other people. Thinking about working with others in job makes my stomach ache. That's why I'm not particularly excited about entering the job world some day - also due to my shyness and introversion.

Anyway, people here who have issues with social interactions too?

You may not be 'normal' in the sense of average, but who has 'real' friends ? Most people don't know how real those friends are (define 'friend') - most people rather want to hang out with others, need the attention. So you're not normal, but healthy. So far. But why do you want to kill yourself (rhetorical question to ask yourself),

 

[EmotionallyUnstable]

You may not be 'normal' in the sense of average, but who has 'real' friends ? Most people don't know how real those friends are (define 'friend') - most people rather want to hang out with others, need the attention. So you're not normal, but healthy. So far. But why do you want to kill yourself (rhetorical question to ask yourself),

I'm sometimes just tired of this all, seeing no sense in life, everything is painful.

 

[WinterIsComing]

Ugh how can someone... trust other person again i mean you have a lot of people leaving you and you to the point where you don't bother trying to get friends anymore.......................>_<

 

[Severen]

No but it is very beneficial to actually have REAL friends. You know...someone who will take a bullet for you.