Venting Does it ever get better

[GirlOfThought06]

Or am I doomed to forever go from feeling kinda nothing some days to wanting to fucking kill myself for the rest of my life
It's been like this for 12 years.

 

[Kenny]

I've had the same problem, some days I'll feel perfectly fine, maybe even good about myself, and then something small goes wrong and then I'm back at square one. It's been like this for 6 years, give or take, but it's really only gotten bad recently. In my case I think it's caused by one of my many mental issues, but it could be different for you. There's a few things I do to keep my mind thinking of other things.

I find that talking to someone can help, but sometimes that can drive people away, so you gotta make sure you have good friends. Losing friends over problems is really discouraging and will often make your thoughts a lot worse.

Something else that's worked for me is finding random hobbies or things to keep myself at least a little productive. It helps my mind focus on anything else other than the feeling of "just existing".

I personally haven't tried medication or therapy yet, so there may be better options, but this is what I've been doing to try to stop it. I'm in the same boat here, not sure if it's a lifelong thing or if it's just dragging out for me. Hopefully I can find a way to overcome it and not ignore it, although maybe if I ignore it long enough it'll go away?

Either way, hopefully this was useful to you.