Does ctb need a reason?

[Thequietone]

When I was a teenageer, I tried to kill myself by hanging it failed. And ever since I decided that some day in the future I would end my own life on my own terms.

It was always just an idea that sat there like someday I would retire.

But lately, it has moved up in importance.

I am now planning it, thinking it through and buying the tools I need to make it happen. It won't happen today, tomorrow or even next year but it will

And the reason I will CTB, is that I will end my own life on my own terms when I feel its best to do so.

But is that really a reason or something I just made up to make me feel better that I have a reason.

To be honest, It an urge to CTB with no obvious reason. It just something I just can't escape. I just want to CTB

Thanks for sharing. Yeah I don't understand it myself. It started with 11 for me when I was thinking about it first, now with 23 all the time didn't change it. I feel like I will be ready next year. Just need to look because OD will be painful and I know that. Just hope I would sleep fast.

 

[wait-for-the-bus]

Thanks for sharing. Yeah I don't understand it myself. It started with 11 for me when I was thinking about it first, now with 23 all the time didn't change it. I feel like I will be ready next year. Just need to look because OD will be painful and I know that. Just hope I would sleep fast.

I am not sure how you are preparing for it, but I am preparing by knowing each step, every material or knot or placement or place.

When the urge comes, I want to be able to just walk up and do it as if it had been practised a 100 times before.

The less I think about it at the moment, the more likely it will happen. So no hesitation.

I am not sure how I will feel once I step off that stool and there is no coming back, but I want to know I was prepared for it and nothing will fail me.

 

[cambrai33]

Sometimes you come here with all kinds of issues that make you want to ctb but then it just becomes about the ctb act itself, like the idealation becomes whats making you ctb above all else

 

[Thequietone]

I am not sure how you are preparing for it, but I am preparing by knowing each step, every material or knot or placement or place.

When the urge comes, I want to be able to just walk up and do it as if it had been practised a 100 times before.

The less I think about it at the moment, the more likely it will happen. So no hesitation.

I am not sure how I will feel once I step off that stool and there is no coming back, but I want to know I was prepared for it and nothing will fail me.

I got my sleeping pills but ordered a second package today. I feel ready but I don't wanna survive. I wanna sleep and die.

 

[YourNeighbor]

We all have the power to end our lives with or without a reason, from a legal (in most modern jurisdictions) and perhaps a moral point of view, depending on one's morals. Whether we should is a different question.

That said, I have never heard of a suicide with no reason at all. The reasons may have seemed banal or even bizarre (i.e., just tired of life, no serious physical or mental illness), but I haven't heard of anyone deciding to kill her/himself just for the sake of it.