Does anyone here plan to live for awhile?

[Meretlein]

I personally never even planned to live this long but laziness has stopped me from getting the supplies needed for ctb. Does anyone here plan to stay alive for reasons other than fear of failure or not having the supplies? If so, what is your reason?

 

[Stan]

I have set a date for minimum impact to family. Its an absolute torture waiting knowing that I have everything to hand to go now.

 

[woxihuanni]

If I get my hands on the bloody means, my only reason of waiting will be for a window of opportunity. I might even just go for it in a 10-hourish window, if it works it works anyway. No need for days alone.

It will be hilarious, because they will probably end up sleeping with a corpse in the house unless the smell is too strong. Other people are worried about being discovered, I am a ghost anyway.

 

[Squiddy]

I'd love to ctb, but am still here for my family

 

[Elias]

I'm waiting for my paycheck, will blow it all doing whatever the fuck I want. Arrange a cozy little corner of comfyness somewhere, take all my deadly gear and exit this shitshow on my terms. In the meantime, visit cool places, have drinks with friends, last ride on my motorcycle, feel nature, pay stuff for others that will have the chance to cross my road. After that, I will put an end to everything, especially going to my psychiatrists regularly. May psychiatry die in a fire when I'm gone.

 

[woxihuanni]

May psychiatry die in a fire when I'm gone.

Amen. That religion helped fuck my life up without even me patronising their temple.

 

[TowerUpright]

Waiting for family matters to resolve. Making sure a few bills are paid off so as not to leave any more of a burden for my family than I already will be.

 

[GreyMonkey]

Giving myself 2 months to see if things can shift with therapy and living in a new share house and trying to rebuild my life.

If this fucking anxiety is still consuming me at that point, I'm out.

 

[Rachel74]

I am waiting yet again for a new regime of tablets to see if they work, I think I have now tried everything for my bipolar and I am still hating myself, life and this nasty disability. I have no plans to go while my stepdad is alive but hes 82 and so healthy that it ain't happening any time soon. My dogs are 10, 3 and 6 months so I want to be there for them as they are the only pleasure I have in this world and the reason I am still here and my Partner. My 18 year niece is pretty fragile after losing my brother last year and self-harming so I have to be here for her.

 

[Astral316]

If I go the SN route... I'm court ordered to continue seeing a psychiatrist and taking medications that may or may not interfere with SN method's effectiveness. If I get the supplies I'll wait until the court order expires at the beginning of next Summer and then ctb.

 

[RedPanda]

Yes, i have a set date for December 2020 when i leave.

 

[Elias]

If I go the SN route... I'm court ordered to continue seeing a psychiatrist and taking medications that may or may not interfere with SN method's effectiveness. If I get the supplies I'll wait until the court order expires at the beginning of next Summer and then ctb.

I'm also court ordered to see a psychiatrist. Isn't that hell on earth? I wish this system would burn down to the ground, too bad I won't there to see it. Good luck waiting a year my friend.

 

[Astral316]

I'm also court ordered to see a psychiatrist. Isn't that hell on earth? I wish this system would burn down to the ground, too bad I won't there to see it. Good luck waiting a year my friend.

I have to see a therapist in addition to the psychiatrist. Both are "academia drones" and the medications are "glorified placebos" but I'll play ball, so to speak. I'm honestly in no hurry to ctb but the thought of spending a half century more in this existence inspires me to go sooner rather than later.

 

[Elias]

I have to see a therapist in addition to the psychiatrist. Both are "academia drones" and the medications are "glorified placebos" but I'll play ball, so to speak. I'm honestly in no hurry to ctb but the thought of spending a half century more in this existence inspires me to go sooner rather than later.

Same, therapist and psychiatrist as well as a month in a ward that I got out of mid August. And that's my state of mind too. I'm not really in a hurry, I could have a lot to live for. Hell, I have resources and friends and technically a nice job in IT. But just the thought of having to navigate through this existence for at least 50 years, and having to see psychiatrists and shit and eating pills. Yeah, no way that's happening.

 

[SinisterKid]

I gave my word to someone that I would try, each and every day, my hardest to stay alive. So that is what I do. If the time comes when I can no longer stay alive, I know and so do they, that I gave it my best shot. I gave my word because I cannot stand to inflict trauma/psychological damage to our little one.

So here I am, doing whatever I can to make it through another day.

 

[Sadwind]

I am here until I can get a reliable method, then I'm gone. I don't think it'll be six months. Hopefully not that long but realistically I need to work through my feelings so they can help give me the courage I need to complete the act. It's been a long time coming, and I've already wasted so much time. I am destructive and cowardly so I need to get out of here ASAP to minimize my impact on this world.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I am here still through failed attempts and because I am living a mask in the hope I get the chance to be alone long enough to be able to do this, sadly I am pretty much monitored all the time now. If I could go tomorrow I would, but sadly plans and circumstances mean I need to wait. This sucks but I am hoping not to wait much longer!

 

[nothingleft]

I keep giving myself more time to see if things can get better because I've never felt so low for so long before. Right now my problems seem insurmountable which is scary. Every night I go to sleep hoping that tomorrow I'll find the will to live that I have lost.

 

[Nem]

I honestly have no idea how I've lasted so long. I am just beside myself thinking about death all day and it's probably made things worse. I could really use some help right now but I realize everyone on here is most likely in the same boat
Peace/hugs

 

[C_F]

I used to stick around for my mom, but she doesn't even ask how I'm doing when I've told her I need her to check on me due to my suicidal ideation. The last thing I will do for her is wait until January as her birthday is approaching and then the holiday season. My plan is to ctb mid January-March.

 

[Supersadmommy90]

Yes, I do plan to live for quite awhile, if all goes to plan and I don't impulsively or drunkenly, ctb. I do fear God, or my conception of Gpd, as far as shirking my duty to my family prematurely, and what could happen to them without me, is unthinkable to me. So on the one hand, there is that. And so I've planned fpr another two decades of spinning around the clown world carousel. I have an immense sense of duty to both my family and nation but I as I hit 30, I realize I'm starting to wilt and hit the wall as a woman and I guess I just wasn't red pilled early enough to avoid some of modernity's pitfalls. I feel half dead and prematurely aged and unattractive due to hair loss, and I just feel terrible about myself and the course of events of my life have proved rather injurious and tragic, and so I selfishly wish for an end to my broken, hurting unit.

 

[mathieu]

I need to save up to buy N so I'll be around a while longer.

 

[Élégie]

As long as my parents are still alive, I'll try to stick around...

 

[Sweet emotion]

I know this may sound silly but I want to experience one more autumn. I want to have one more Halloween because it's my favorite time of year. I set a date for myself. And I hope I have the balls to stick to it. I haven't killed myself yet because of my mom. I don't want to leave her alone and I'm her only child. But my physical condition is so severely painful and I've had it for 14 years already. I don't want to make it another year. The pain on top of the isolation is so depressing. I feel like I've been doing solitary confinement for a crime I didn't commit. My condition, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome is the highest ranking pain condition in medical history and is called the suicide disease because there is no knowledge of it so there is no research. Doctors don't even know about it because they don't teach about it in medical school. It's the most inhumane condition I've ever seen. My friend who had it killed herself three years ago.

 

[Dawn0071111]

Yes, I do plan to live for quite awhile, if all goes to plan and I don't impulsively or drunkenly, ctb. I do fear God, or my conception of Gpd, as far as shirking my duty to my family prematurely, and what could happen to them without me, is unthinkable to me. So on the one hand, there is that. And so I've planned fpr another two decades of spinning around the clown world carousel. I have an immense sense of duty to both my family and nation but I as I hit 30, I realize I'm starting to wilt and hit the wall as a woman and I guess I just wasn't red pilled early enough to avoid some of modernity's pitfalls. I feel half dead and prematurely aged and unattractive due to hair loss, and I just feel terrible about myself and the course of events of my life have proved rather injurious and tragic, and so I selfishly wish for an end to my broken, hurting unit.

I hear you... so much brokenness.... feeling selfish, feeling bad about oneself. ... so much suffering....

 

[Alchemist]

Not sure when, but most likely I will be gone before the year ends.

 

[StillWaiting]

Still haven't decide on a method. Probably waiting for something to force me to do an impulsive one

 

[pole]

aside from laziness, maybe hoping something happens and life turns around and perhaps maybe getting into law school. even when stuff happens, i somehow have like hope inside of me and i dont understand why. i definitely dont see myself living into my mid 20s.

 

[rik]

As long as my parents are still alive, I'll try to stick around...

That is the only reason I am still around as well. My parents are nearing their 80's and it would kill them if i ctb now.

 

[sleepy dog]

If I go the SN route... I'm court ordered to continue seeing a psychiatrist and taking medications that may or may not interfere with SN method's effectiveness. If I get the supplies I'll wait until the court order expires at the beginning of next Summer and then ctb.

...and Elias. I am also court ordered, in the US. I bought the N, had it for 29 days and the cops got me and took the N. Was in custody for 17 days. They violated many rights. The resperidal in the unit made me unable to read more than 3 seconds and horrible restlessness. Literally pacing from wake up to falling asleep time. Got them to stop that poison. I got out, read my rights, and appealed. I donated to Mindfreedom International to get their Forced Drugging Defense Package, but that doesn't mean it will work. The public pretender was a joke. They wanted to put Invega in me by a shot and threatened to lock me up again to "monitor it", which was of course a lie. I talked them into letting me use Seroquel, took it in past. I can cope with its effects. But now she had me do labs to check if I was taking it. She will probably try to say I haven't, which will be a lie. They are trying very hard to lock me up again. That court is supposed to choose the "least restrictive option" at all times.