bellaisdonewithlife
I see the world in grey while others see colour.
- Jan 29, 2026
- 177
I don't think I've ever been this close to attempting. I have the supplies for a few weeks now and I keep thinking about it. I'm still here for tonight, but yeah. My life has been way too hard. This has to be a rare 1 in a thousand lifetime or 1 in 10,000 lifetime where I'm stuck with various incurable problems that I became aware of in my teens... And I don't mean this in a competition way. I mean that I'm completely screwed unlike many people who at least have a chance to turn their lives around.
So what if I make a lot of money if my quality of life will never get better and I won't even get a dopamine spike from achieving success thanks to my anhedonia. I've tried treatments for all my problems for years now and nothing has worked (I only slightly stabilized my autoimmune-like issues from an unimaginably bad state). I feel that the other problems I face have a much bigger impact on my daily life. Now my knees started hurting 3-4 weeks ago. I've never had knee pain before. It's probably the autoimmune issues. The last week or so has been a lot worse.
Life is too cruel. I don't know how much longer I'll keep going.
So what if I make a lot of money if my quality of life will never get better and I won't even get a dopamine spike from achieving success thanks to my anhedonia. I've tried treatments for all my problems for years now and nothing has worked (I only slightly stabilized my autoimmune-like issues from an unimaginably bad state). I feel that the other problems I face have a much bigger impact on my daily life. Now my knees started hurting 3-4 weeks ago. I've never had knee pain before. It's probably the autoimmune issues. The last week or so has been a lot worse.
Life is too cruel. I don't know how much longer I'll keep going.
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