Same here. At times, it feels like I'm on top of the world and can't possibly imagine why I felt depressed in the first place, but then I suddenly fall from that high and start thinking about suicide. Other than those euphoric highs where everything seems perfect and the soul-crushing lows involving me wondering why I'm still forced to be alive, there's just stress and apathy in between.
However, I don't think "not [being] depressed enough" is a concept(?) that actually exists. Not only does everyone have different experiences, but people deal with, and are affected by, said experiences in different ways as well, making the whole point of gauging depression useless.
Still, I can see where you're coming from—maybe in a different way, though. You don't need others to validate how you feel because they're how you feel. Besides, I think it's kind of inconsiderate to disregard the depressive moments you go through just because "You were happy a few times." After all, saying that being depressed always involves being sad 24/7 is an oversimplification of the condition.
Although, I don't know if you actually wanted people's opinion on that, so sorry if I'm overstepping. I can delete it if you want.
