Guys forgive me I have very poor communication skills and social skills, so its very difficult to get what I mean into words. I was just talking about finding enlightenment and meditation, I am not really identified with any religion, but study teachings from Zen Buddhism, Sufism, Hinduism and the Bible. I should of just said that. I am an idiot. God to me represents the infinite. I do think religion is bs tho but there is some gold in the mud, not all of it is bs (at least to me). Christianity talks about virtues and morals which are important to me and I empathise with that, Buddhism talks about the human condition and I also empathise that.
Look at the world with your own two eyes, with no judgement, just observation. There is no magic out there. Everything can be explained with science. Yes, we don't know how the universe came to be and this is still an ongoing question. But that doesn't meant it can't be solved in time. The computer, Einsteins theory of relativity, the heliocentric model of our solar system, all of these things were not overnight discoveries. But I guess what I meant to say is that ultimately I do not know. No one does, and if they say they do they are full of shit and are trying to sell you on something. So the search for truth ultimately continues on.
The stoics say "amor fati." Which means to love one fate, as soon as were born we were already predisposed to a certain kind of fate. A fate that is guided by our environment, our parents, our DNA (genetics), our culture, our society, our friends etc. Nobody knows this fate and we still have to blindly keep on making decisions. Who knows if we are making the right ones. We are humans not omniscient beings, we have fallacies, we are imperfect. We are also animals. Being at the top of the food chain and not have to worry about other predators, we forget that. We forget our place in the world. We forget our place in the universe. An ant doesn't know all the machinations of the ant maze.
Sometimes I wish my life could be different but no matter how much I wish it to be so, there are some things that I can't change. Suffering is immutable.
They say the truth hurts and sometimes it can break your heart. That is not to say that what I am saying is the truth. This doesn't mean we should reject the truth and entertain delusions, just because the truth is painful, or maybe it does if it helps you sleep at night. The search for truth should always be ongoing. This doesn't mean we can't dream. I think the nature of human beings is fundamentally incompatible with the world. Thats why I think life is a tragedy.
