Venting Does anyone else struggle to participate?

[irrelevant_string]

The one is used to find out square roots for numbers like 87 and 19. Each time you make a guess and test it, you get to see if it's lower or higher than the actual root, which allows you to make increasingly more accurate guesses each time you test them.

And iterative process for numerical approximation.
Regula falsi as a broader term.

 

[shoganai]

It helps knowing that no one here knows me/has any particular expectations of me. Also, because this site is full of people like me, I feel safer talking. I've tried Reddit but so many people either ignore you or shut you down. It hurts. Let's not forget the stupid platitudes...

It doesn't seem like that kind of stuff happens here.

 

[262653]

Regula falsi as a broader term.

Right... regula falsi fits better because it's broader, and easier to explain but preserves the similarity which I tried to portray. Bonus points for fancy name.

And iterative process for numerical approximation.

Hm, I don't have to google to make sense out of it because it's, literally, what the process is all about. Looks more sophisticated when described in mathematical terms.

 

[Finis Autem Spero]

@TiredOfCoping It stopped showing that message after a short while, presumably having been approved by mods.

I always struggle with ANY degree of group activity. The thought of participating with others, whether on person or online, makes me sad. However, my desire for death is so real it gives me courage to speak up and be heard. This topic and the people I have met in my very short time here HELP me deal with life as I know it. The anonymity and being able to share what lurks in the dark recesses of my mind with minimal judgement, expectation, or "meaningful talk" is something I value. Therefore, I participate.

I'm the same when it comes to group activities, I'm much more comfortable one-on-one with people. I find it easier to open up whereas with groups I end up just being an observer and listening to what more interesting people have to say, then I feel like shit because it makes me feel like I'm not part of the group.

Even after a couple of weeks, it's still difficult for me to interact here, even though there's a bunch of people I'd love to get to know more it feels pointless since I plan on ctb pretty soon. I wish I'd found this place sooner and got to know more of you wonderful people.

Seeing your conversation @Burzolog and @irrelevant_string is just making me wish I'd learned more math and programming. There's so many things I'd love to learn. Too many.

 

[charlottewilts]

Even after a couple of weeks, it's still difficult for me to interact here, even though there's a bunch of people I'd love to get to know more it feels pointless since I plan on ctb pretty soon. I wish I'd found this place sooner and got to know more of you wonderful people.

i feel this so much. even though i've been here for a while, i still have trouble approaching people who i'd love to speak with. but then again, does it really matter since i'm going to be gone in a week. i'm going to be hypocritical for a moment, but if you have the energy you should still talk with people before you go! maybe their insight could help you come to peace with your decision even more :-)

perhaps i should put "PM me, i wanna talk with you but i'm too shy to begin the conversation" in my signature...

 

[Hexen]

Honestly I hate a lot of stuff on here and can barely find something interesting. Also I hate the lack of dialogue, its just an echo chamber. Anyway just say what you want to say because those are your thoughts at the moment. You can't hold shit in for ever. Also you are anonymous, so who cares if you write something stupid.

 

[irrelevant_string]

@TiredOfCoping It stopped showing that message after a short while, presumably having been approved by mods.



I'm the same when it comes to group activities, I'm much more comfortable one-on-one with people. I find it easier to open up whereas with groups I end up just being an observer and listening to what more interesting people have to say, then I feel like shit because it makes me feel like I'm not part of the group.

Even after a couple of weeks, it's still difficult for me to interact here, even though there's a bunch of people I'd love to get to know more it feels pointless since I plan on ctb pretty soon. I wish I'd found this place sooner and got to know more of you wonderful people.

Seeing your conversation @Burzolog and @irrelevant_string is just making me wish I'd learned more math and programming. There's so many things I'd love to learn. Too many.

That feeling might just be universal. I doubt that there are many people who are perfectly content with their decisions in the past, but this place is especially biased in favor of the opposite.
I don't know what you reasons for being suicidal are, but it's likely that you could still start learning any of these things at any moment if you'd like.

There are many things I'd love to learn too, but unfortunately one has to specialize a bit in order to gain a sufficient level of proficiency in at least one skill. The sad part is, I haven't really done that either.
Anyway, I just spent some amount of time trying to convince you that anyone's perception of me is likely completely wrong if it's anything other than - a depressed kid(my age is above 18 though) who occasionally likes to think they're smart and write long posts trying to demonstrate that while accomplishing the exact opposite.
Everything does seem pointless to me too and my writing long personal posts always leaves me with a feeling of unjustifiable self indulgence and being nothing but a validation-seeking primate, so I'll just stop here.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

I wrote a reply for this thread and never posted it, lol.