Discussion Does anyone else pretend to be fine in front of people?

[Emptied_soul]

I'm asking this question because in front of my family, work colleagues and other people that know me, i pretend to be doing just fine, putting on a fake smile and acting like nothing is wrong.
It also seems my acting seems to be pretty good since no one can spot my suicidal ideations and the fact that in reality i'm completely broken and dead inside. I feel like it's just better if i swallow everything up and don't tell anyone.

So do you also pretend to be doing fine in front of people you know in order to not make them worry about you?

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, of course in fact I've done this my entire life as I've never wanted to exist here in this world. This is the best thing to do, as after all we exist in a world where people cannot talk openly about suicide and there is a lack of acceptance towards what should be a human right.

 

[Ultracheese]

I do the same. I don't know what would happen if people knew about my thoughts but I'm sure it would be disastrous so I keep silent about it. I don't know how good I am at hiding it, but no one has caught on yet so I must be alright.

 

[Source Energy]

I'm asking this question because in front of my family, work colleagues and other people that know me, i pretend to be doing just fine, putting on a fake smile and acting like nothing is wrong.
It also seems my acting seems to be pretty good since no one can spot my suicidal ideations and the fact that in reality i'm completely broken and dead inside. I feel like it's just better if i swallow everything up and don't tell anyone.

So do you also pretend to be doing fine in front of people you know in order to not make them worry about you?

Me. I'm quite the expert at faking cheerfulness. No one would ever guess how broken I am. Two people in the entire world know it all.

 

[yive]

i don't pretend to be happy, fake smile etc. but i don't tell them anything about suicide, cause these ppl will never understand anyway. it will only create more problems and suffering for me. they know that i'm sad, in a bad situation etc, but they don't care about my pain. happily i don't have many ppl around me because i live a life of a hermit hikikomori. i have long since retired from society and i'm really glad of it

 

[dimstar]

I've been pretending for years, most cant tell but I think I've been breaking from my everything's okay character. People have started to notice I'm running out of energy to keep up the facade.

 

[Hollowman]

I'm too far gone to even care about acting ok, my misery's pretty much on full display. But my frown line's getting pretty bad so they probably think I'm angry.

 

[Dying Alive 00]

No. I don't have the energy or inclination to pretend. I look withdrawn, distant and uninspiring. I don't talk about my plans or wishes outwardly, but nor do I pretend to be fine. I long forgotten what fine means

 

[Borgrot]

I can't seem fine anymore but at least none of them know how real my plans are to ctb and how close I keep coming to finally doing it. I probably just seem grumpy, which to be fair I also am.

 

[DustInTheWind]

I'm so tired of it... Everyday when doing anything in public or with friends I have to pretend... But I told my family about my mental illness last christmas when I visited them, so I no longer need to pretend to be fine around them. I also told them that I am trying to get better, and to be better, which is extremely hard. But at least I got some more support now, it was worth it.

 

[HeatedBlanket]

I've been pretending I'm fine for so long, almost two decades. Everyone has bought it. Until recently. I can't put a face on anymore. I don't care if anyone knows anymore. I don't have the energy or mental capacity to deal with it anymore.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

Nah I am so sick physically I almost look like a hobo skeleton and mentally, well when you look like that people can tell there's something wrong with you

I still look cool though, in a brooding kind of sense, like the protagonist of a movie after he's gone through hell and it's almost the end (which I hope it is)

 

[EndlessNight]

if people know you're depressed they see you as an outcast, as a vulnerable, they might even use that against you someday. They won't help. So it's best to keep your problems to yourself.

 

[Nemaki Arber]

It honestly depends, most of the time yes but when things are getting particularly stressful it's harder to mask, I've even been fired from a job for it when I couldn't keep my anxiety in check anymore. I grew up with really abusive parents throughout all of my childhood and teenage years that would snap if I showed any emotions but happiness so hiding my actual feelings and keeping a straight face is a thing that comes naturally to me.

Lately it's been harder to hide how I feel though after some situation where 2 ex-close friends did some pretty shitty things to me.

 

[leavingsoon99]

Yeah. I go through the motions of life whenever I have to interact with people. I am fortunate that I don't have to do that much, though. Besides, no one cares about me anyway. I guess that's a crude benefit of being in the world totally alone. I won't hurt anyone once I do it, and I don't have to keep up a front for too long. I understand what you're saying, though.

 

[JJMaynard97]

I'm asking this question because in front of my family, work colleagues and other people that know me, i pretend to be doing just fine, putting on a fake smile and acting like nothing is wrong.
It also seems my acting seems to be pretty good since no one can spot my suicidal ideations and the fact that in reality i'm completely broken and dead inside. I feel like it's just better if i swallow everything up and don't tell anyone.

So do you also pretend to be doing fine in front of people you know in order to not make them worry about you?

I do now, at the start I did open up to friends and family but they think I'm a attention seeker. They don't know the thoughts in my head, they don't know what I think of doing to myself. It's hard but it's a good thing. Depending on the issue we have, if they know then they'll try and help or judge. So Ive decided to keep silent and not open up. Me being honest has made me lonely so I'm not making that same mistake again. To the small friends I have they think I'm fine. And it'll stay that way.
I tried telling my Nan a little while ago, she just said to me, stop going on about it and do it. So thats what I'll do....

 

[waRmblanket]

I'm asking this question because in front of my family, work colleagues and other people that know me, i pretend to be doing just fine, putting on a fake smile and acting like nothing is wrong.
It also seems my acting seems to be pretty good since no one can spot my suicidal ideations and the fact that in reality i'm completely broken and dead inside. I feel like it's just better if i swallow everything up and don't tell anyone.

So do you also pretend to be doing fine in front of people you know in order to not make them worry about you?

I've done this for years…my mom even told me I was very good at it:) while I'm smiling I'm planning

 

[PurpleParadigm]

In front of my beloved partner and parentsd yes. In front of friends not anymore, I haven't been in touch with any of them for a long while and avoid building new close relationships. I opened up to one of my best friends about my struggles after having a falling out with a mutual friend. He was very sweet and understanding, but for me it was like a firehose has been blown open, and I found myself bitching about my struggles to him almost in every conversation. That's not good, even if he handled it well I can't burden a person like that. We haven't talked much this year, I only have bandwidth to keep apperances for the absolute closest people in my life.

 

[absolomonisgone]

life is about pretending and everybody is a pretender EVERYBODY so relax and enjoy the game and chances are they all are suicidal only difference is some of us have decided it's the way to go and that's all.

 

[Nitrohelpasap]

I'm asking this question because in front of my family, work colleagues and other people that know me, i pretend to be doing just fine, putting on a fake smile and acting like nothing is wrong.
It also seems my acting seems to be pretty good since no one can spot my suicidal ideations and the fact that in reality i'm completely broken and dead inside. I feel like it's just better if i swallow everything up and don't tell anyone.

So do you also pretend to be doing fine in front of people you know in order to not make them worry about you?

Hello Emptied Soul,
I can relate completely, I am exactly the same. Mostly because I don't want them to know I'm suffering. I guess for me I feel and know my friends will judge me. Although I dont feel that at all but I think they will view it as I am being selfish. I had an appointment with my shrink yesterday to address a few things which have sent my mind spiraling for 2 months. And although that was pretty much useless. In general I do find that I put on a bubbly persona in front pf people too. Have you heard of masking? People who have ADHD and Autism do it, especially women. Without even realising it - it s almost natural.

Maybe you should tell someone, someone you feel you can trust, if you feel it may help you. If you want people to know your pain - do share your pain. I am sorry from your message I am not sure if you want to share your pain with others or not. I may not be reading it properly. sorry

 

[Unending]

I'm not really capable of acting like I'm okay. If I'm miserable, people can pretty easily see it on me if they are even a little bit observant.

 

[NambaSutra]

It's gotten too hard most of the time. I can talk to a cashier or something and smile and thank them, but I rarely smile or make conversation with anyone else. It's too exhausting for more than a minute or two.

 

[Linty Leans]

I also have suicidal thoughts all the time, but i'm so good at hiding it that i always manage to even convince myself that i'm happy with other people until i'm left alone with my thoughts as they echo endlessly through my head. funnies thing is i always thought that it was normal for me to have thoughts of existential dread and a desire for death. my parents always used to tell me that there's always suffering from worse that everyone has problems w anxiety and self worth, and i think i rlly internalized that bc even now i constantly think about killing myself. i strategize ways to do it and fantasize about the freeing feeling of ending it all, and still, i don't feel like i'm sick or anything. it just feels like who i am, and at that point, maybe i was never meant to exist here in the first place.