Discussion Does anyone else plan ctb before 2020 is over?

[Valon]

I'm planning to go in 2021 unless something changes. This whole coronavirus bullshit has only made me want to go even more. No one knows how long it's going to last and it could very well be around for the rest of our lives.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Yes, my time is looking to be around late November or even sooner if things sourer even more.

 

[Squiddy]

I probably won't, but I hope something kills me

 

[CatabolicSeed]

My SN arrived this week. Feeling closer and closer to doing it. Strong possibility I won't make it to 2021

 

[tidalwxves]

Do you also feel that you are leaving this year?

*******

Sometimes, I think about finding a job that will guarantee me a fixed income before I leave, to leave money for my pets, but I know that my mom will spend only to pay her own bills. My mom still controls my money and most of my purchases, in addition to other factors that make me very sad. At the moment, I am making money cleaning houses of people I know, but I earn very little, and fibromyalgia makes everything worse. I don't really understand why I'm still breathing. Life has always been hostile, I have had to deal with abuse and responsibilities since my childhood, I am too weak to participate in this concrete jungle.

I'm tired, you know? I no longer feel like prolonging my life, and I believe that suicide is the only thing that can save me.

It really breaks my heart whenever people actually talk about the circumstances that bring them to this site. I empathize with feeling weak, feeling tired, not understanding why you wake up everyday. Those feelings are not foreign to me. I do think the job could be worth a shot, instead of seeing it as a way to take care of your pets after you are gone you could use it as way to get more independence. Can you make a private bank account and save up to leave your mom? I really hope you get free from this situation, if you would like to make a strategy to leave or if you just need someone to talk to please feel free to PM me.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I keep telling myself that I'll be gone this year. Hell, I thought the same thing last year. Guess what? Still here.

I've set January 16, 2021 as my deadline. With any luck, I'll be gone sooner.

 

[nitroautnz]

I wish i will be gone, im tired of living. I've never felt so hopeless. But maybe i will still be here , we never know

 

[okaoki]

its this year , i'm sure of it , time is closing in , once my favourite manga ends its time to go .
the people(s) who hurts me really do forced my hand.

 

[sadworld]

yeah, i hope i can plan everything out in the next few weeks.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

I'm planning to CTB if Biden wins the election. Why? He wants to implement strict nationwide lockdowns, to control Corona, possibly until 2024. The lockdowns were the reason I wanted to CBT back in April, and even bought everything except SN. But then I went to an illegal party in May, where I met fun people who don't believe in social distancing (I still hang out with them), so I changed my mind, at least temporarily. Of course, with Biden being a filthy liberal, looters, rioters, arsonists, and other left-wing criminals will be exempt from the lockdowns. As a law-abiding conservative, I'll be fucked! I'd rather deteriorate in a casket than live under double standards like that.

In November, I plan to buy the SN, Bacardi 151, bleach, Windex, and other supplies, to have them ready to "deploy" on election night, if I need to. One consoling factor is that I had lots of happy times with my new conservative friends in the last 5 months, with more to come before November. But if Biden wins, there will be no more happy times. America will turn into a filthy wasteland, with streets in boarded-up ruins, and everyone hiding at home, except for marauding rioters and skittish grocery shoppers.

 

[Lupgevif]

I'm divided between this November or next year's January. I am kinda worried about ruining everyone's Christmas/New Year; as much as I don't care about how my farther relatives will react, I still want to leave while avoiding causing too much hassle to too many people.

 

[Forgotten]

I really would like to CTB before 2020 ends, but my planning never really works out, I always pussy out or postpone at last minute. But now I'm pretty close to the end, so there's no more room for running away or trying to postpone, I will have to finish this in some way or another sooner or later.