Does anyone else not see a future?

[sserafim]

Does anyone else not see a future for themself? I don't see a future for myself where I'm a real adult. I don't see myself working, being independent, having a partner, getting married, having children, having a family, settling down, etc. I just can't imagine myself doing these things. I never wanted any of them anyways. I really think that I was meant to die a long time ago

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

I stopped getting excited about the future.
Now I only see myself in the future as ashes...

 

[sserafim]

I stopped getting excited about the future.
Now I only see myself in the future as ashes...

I never saw or wanted a future anyways. I was never excited about the future. It just filled me with dread and anxiety

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I have a drug-induced breathing disorder. Due to this, I am unable to work and live on benefits. I spend my days lying in bed or on the sofa feeling like I can't breathe. I have no meaningful future.

 

[sserafim]

I have a drug-induced breathing disorder. Due to this, I am unable to work and live on benefits. I spend my days lying in bed or on the sofa feeling like I can't breathe. I have no meaningful future.

I'm sorry to hear that. For me, I just meant that I never thought that I would have to actually work and support myself. I always thought that I would have died somehow before having to enter the real world. I didn't want to live past 18 and I don't think I was meant to either

 

[restlessdream3r]

I have always felt the same way as you. I never planned for my future because I never wanted one. You aren't alone in this.

 

[sserafim]

I have always felt the same way as you. I never planned for my future because I never wanted one. You aren't alone in this.

Same. I didn't even have a plan for my post-college life because I didn't think that I'd be alive to see it. It's been almost 2 years now

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't see one for myself either, although years ago I was so sure I would have CTB'd by now. I have no idea what my plan is except that I should probably CTB by September. I blame my own laziness and idiocy for clinging onto hope and leaving the future ambiguous enough that maybe it will end up okay for me because no matter much I know it won't, I can't help but keep that tiny bit of optimism.

It's just as well because reality loves proving me wrong so any future I try to envision is just practically guaranteed to not happen anyway.

 

[Helween]

Does anyone else not see a future for themself? I don't see a future for myself where I'm a real adult. I don't see myself working, being independent, having a partner, getting married, having children, having a family, settling down, etc. I just can't imagine myself doing these things. I never wanted any of them anyways. I really think that I was meant to die a long time ago

Never really felt like i could have a future since high school so it was really weird/awkward being there for nothing.

 

[sserafim]

I don't see one for myself either, although years ago I was so sure I would have CTB'd by now. I have no idea what my plan is except that I should probably CTB by September. I blame my own laziness and idiocy for clinging onto hope and leaving the future ambiguous enough that maybe it will end up okay for me because no matter much I know it won't, I can't help but keep that tiny bit of optimism.

It's just as well because reality loves proving me wrong so any future I try to envision is just practically guaranteed to not happen anyway.

The thing is that I don't even want a future anyways. I'm forced to stay alive and go forward with time because it's hard to die. Ideally, I would have been gone a long time ago. I don't want to get any older or be forced to adult. These things are just happening due to the natural progression of time. I'm forced to live out the future even though I don't want to

 

[bookgirl]

I have no future

 

[iloverachel]

I can see my future
In a grave where I belong and can finally rest in peace

 

[Dmoore3232]

Same. I didn't even have a plan for my post-college life because I didn't think that I'd be alive to see it. It's been almost 2 years now

So you're what 24? What is your degree in?

If you're autistic you have to go to a place you want to move to. Environment is big with autism I think.

 

[sserafim]

So you're what 24? What is your degree in?

If you're autistic you have to go to a place you want to move to. Environment is big with autism I think.

I'm 23 and I have Asperger's (aka autism level 1) and ADHD. My degree is in the science part of STEM. I honestly might not even have Asperger's though

 

[4am]

same. when i thought of my future, i always just thought of a dark empty void. just like my title says, i always felt that there is nothing for me in life. i feel like i should have died long time ago, and everything happening to me rn shouldn't be happening, but instead i'm being pushed into life, like my life is an unsupportable freight train that just keeps on rolling because of its inertia (if that makes any sense lmao)

 

[Agon321]

I'm planning CTB, so no, I don't see myself as an adult and responsible person in the future.

I'm an extremely lazy person, so I can't imagine struggling in this world.
Starting a family is also impossible in my case.

Death is the most reasonable option in my case.
Nothing good awaits me here.
I'm just a fucked up person and I don't want to change that.

 

[sserafim]

same. when i thought of my future, i always just thought of a dark empty void. i feel like i should have died long time ago, and everything happening to me rn shouldn't be happening, but instead i'm being pushed into life, like my life is an unsupportable freight train that just keeps on rolling because of its inertia (if that makes any sense lmao)

This is exactly how I feel, but when I thought of my future, I would just see it as blank, like literally nothing at all

I'm planning CTB, so no, I don't see myself as an adult and responsible person in the future.

I'm an extremely lazy person, so I can't imagine struggling in this world.
Starting a family is also impossible in my case.

Death is the most reasonable option in my case.
Nothing good awaits me here.
I'm just a fucked up person and I don't want to change that.

I don't want to be an adult or a responsible person though. I also don't see the point of struggling in this world. I never wanted to start a family either and I honestly don't know why people do

 

[chobonzi]

Does anyone else not see a future for themself? I don't see a future for myself where I'm a real adult. I don't see myself working, being independent, having a partner, getting married, having children, having a family, settling down, etc. I just can't imagine myself doing these things. I never wanted any of them anyways. I really think that I was meant to die a long time ago

i don't: i haven't from s young age and now that i'm almost 30, it just kicks the wanting to CTB feelings in more and more.

 

[Aphex Triplet]

I'm about to fail my second exams. Then the finals. Barely attended, never did one homework. Just going along until one day I will have to kill myself against my wishes.

This is necessary.

 

[sserafim]

i don't: i haven't from s young age and now that i'm almost 30, it just kicks the wanting to CTB feelings in more and more.

I never wanted to live past 18 and I've set my maximum exit point as 25. Hopefully I have the courage to ctb and never end up reaching it. I don't want to let time and life pass me by again…

 

[Aphex Triplet]

I never wanted to live past 18 and I've set my maximum exit point as 25. Hopefully I have the courage to ctb and never end up reaching it. I don't want to let time pass me by again…

Same. For years I thought I wouldn't make it to 18. Here I am at 20. I'm so overwhelmed at the thought of living any longer.

 

[chobonzi]

I never wanted to live past 18 and I've set my maximum exit point as 25. Hopefully I have the courage to ctb and never end up reaching it. I don't want to let time pass me by again…

same here now i'm 29. i give myself until 33 which is the age my dad CTB.

 

[justcallmeJ]

I had a future but it all got taken from me

 

[astrichaoz]

I'm the same. I can't really picture myself ever going anywhere in life. I just feel like living long and having a future isn't meant for me.

 

[elderDrifter]

I don't see much of a future for me. Right now the future looks like working a job I only got because I needed one. I don't see myself climbing any economic ladder of sorts. And I don't see life becoming something I'd be able to enjoy. Somewhere along the lines life became a job and I don't see that changing. The only thing I see worth looking forward to is the fact - someway, somehow - I'll be dead.

 

[AshersGirl]

When I was young, I thought I'd be dead by 18.
Then when I was still alive and kicking at 19, I thought I'd be dead by 25. Then 30.

Now I'm starting to think I'll be alive until I die from something other than suicide even though I don't want to be.

I could never see a future that was tangible, in reach and meaningful. I mostly just coast along day to day with little real purpose/goal and I think I've been like that my whole life. Largely on autopilot. Which is quite sad and pointless.

But then there was the brief interlude where I actually did see a meaningful future, in large part to the synchronicity between my fiancé and I. It was actually very odd for me - an alien feeling - to be "happy", to actually look forward to building something.

(I've had plenty relationships before him where I didn't feel this way, something about us together just fit).

Anyway it was short lived because of his death. His death reset me to how I was before I met him but magnified tenfold. I am absolutely incapable of envisioning any kind of future where anything at all is worth it anymore, never mind trying to attain it. Yet, I'm still here.

Right now there are probably millions of humans out there living a monotonous life that they're not particularly attached to. But they go through the motions of what society dictates, they survive, but they don't question if it's worth it: autopilot. Only reason I suspect they don't find their way here is because they haven't started questioning if it's worth it.

Also, I'm two decades older than you and I still don't feel like a "real adult".

 

[PhoenixPX]

I think there are little people that actually see a future. Majority just doesn't' know.
It's the same with me you just go with the flow. The only thing i did thinking about my future was choosing my major. And that was just because it was the only thing i wanted to do at the moment.
You just have to go with the flow ig

 

[gingermacie]

I felt the same as you. Now that I'm an age I never thought I would be (27) I wish very badly that I had planned. Sadly, I was too mentally ill to realize how I could have helped myself. At least back then there was a path for me, I just didn't see it. Now there really is no path left and it feels much worse. Maybe I'm just looking at the past with rose-tinted glasses, though.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

I don't see anything good for myself in the future

I had a future but it all got taken from me

Same here

 

[Goku Black]

I certainly don't, besides the crippling economy, watching people struggle to get by with personal issues and poor future prospects compared to others who still somehow have some kind of hope that things will just work out as intended, one of the reasons for ctb but just one of many. From the minor inconveniences that come with the human condition to the fact I'm just inept at struggling to fight for some future that I know isn't there, only a matter of time.