Discussion Does anyone else have romanticised suicide fantasies?

[dearlybeloved998]

Yes. I've fantasized about various methods including euthanasia. I've had dreams about it in my sleep as well. But most of them are unrealistic and not reliable enough for me to act them out in reality. I sometimes fantasize about being admitted into a psych ward and committing suicide with a person of my choice from there that I have deemed beyond medical help. We share a cup of poisonous wine together and die in each other's arms as she or he thanks me for my medical knowledge and tells me they will do anything as a return for it. Then, I ask for a kiss (on the cheek). One of my greatest fears is dying alone and knowing I've done it to myself, even tho I have no other options.

 

[Applebees]

I have found comfort in the idea of suicide for quite some time now and fantasies of how it would take place, how it would feel, where it would be, who would be there with me etc..

I've had this idea of renting a nice Airbnb somewhere in Europe, preferably in a beautiful location with other people/ another person. I would wish to find solace and connection with others in my last moments.

and then going to a woods. We could talk, possibly experiment with substances because fuck it hardly matters at this point in time or do whatever we felt like in that moment, fulfil any last desires we may have and when we feel ready take SN or maybe some other method.

or possibly we could find a scenic cliff and jump together hand in hand.

Does anyone else have frequent fantasies such as those? I would love to hear them if you feel comfortable sharing.

(Also I'm still looking for a particular to leave this world with so if anyone in Europe is interested please let me know!) :)

I get suicidal fantasies pretty frequently. Sometimes I like to think that when I do it I'll send my ex a goodbye text a couple hours before, but then again if I actually do that it might come across as immature

 

[Versailles]

I wanna die in lying in the bed, beside ny partner and with carbone monoxide, both watching TV in a cold night

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

Yes. I've fantasized about various methods including euthanasia. I've had dreams about it in my sleep as well. But most of them are unrealistic and not reliable enough for me to act them out in reality. I sometimes fantasize about being admitted into a psych ward and committing suicide with a person of my choice from there that I have deemed beyond medical help. We share a cup of poisonous wine together and die in each other's arms as she or he thanks me for my medical knowledge and tells me they will do anything as a return for it. Then, I ask for a kiss (on the cheek). One of my greatest fears is dying alone and knowing I've done it to myself, even tho I have no other options.

I'm very jaded and bitter, like many people on here. But damn it, this has got to be one of the most romantic (not in an intimate sense, more like sweet and touching) CTB fantasies I read on here. If I were ever to be imprisoned into a mental ward, that's how I'd want to die together with a fellow "inmate". I'd prefer that person to be a woman, because of their soft, soothing touch. But another man isn't too bad either; it'd have a "brothers in battle" factor, although physically comforting each other wouldn't be an option. (I'm male.)

Your scenario sounds very similar to the scene in the last chapter of "A Tale of Two Cities". That's where Sydney Carton was comforting a seamstress, as they rode together on a cart (with a mishmash of other condemned prisoners) to be guillotined.

 

[LeGuitarist]

You're not the only one, those my fantasies tend to differ in mood.

Mine are a lot more realistic, so what I would expect to happen if I actually stop being a coward and go through with it. Even though my ideal method would probably be SN or euthanasia, my fantasies are a bit more brutal. Specifically, wrist slitting, hanging, or a bullet to the head. It's pretty simple--me upset at the world decides to use one of those three methods and die.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

Mine are a lot more realistic, so what I would expect to happen if I actually stop being a coward and go through with it. Even though my ideal method would probably be SN or euthanasia, my fantasies are a bit more brutal. Specifically, wrist slitting, hanging, or a bullet to the head. It's pretty simple--me upset at the world decides to use one of those three methods and die.

My "ideal" fantasy consists of taking a hand grenade in my teeth and pulling the ring out. Quick and dirty, not to mention 100% effective. Although an open-casket funeral would be out of the question at that point.

I got that fantasy from a violent video game I like: Postal 2. The main guy (the character you control) can use it if he's caught in an escapable situation, like falling in a deep pit or being captured by terrorists. Then he dies, and restarts at the latest save point. The part where the guy's explodes isn't shown, but you can see him take the hand grenade in his teeth and pull the ring.

 

[dearlybeloved998]

I'm very jaded and bitter, like many people on here. But damn it, this has got to be one of the most romantic (not in an intimate sense, more like sweet and touching) CTB fantasies I read on here. If I were ever to be imprisoned into a mental ward, that's how I'd want to die together with a fellow "inmate". I'd prefer that person to be a woman, because of their soft, soothing touch. But another man isn't too bad either; it'd have a "brothers in battle" factor, although physically comforting each other wouldn't be an option. (I'm male.)

Your scenario sounds very similar to the scene in the last chapter of "A Tale of Two Cities". That's where Sydney Carton was comforting a seamstress, as they rode together on a cart (with a mishmash of other condemned prisoners) to be guillotined.

Yeah, before my brain started deteriorating I wanted to be an author, the only thing keeping me from CTB now. So maybe that's why I have such a wild imagination. That and loosened mental associations. I don't even hope for recovery anymore, just some temporary relief to do just that. If that doesn't come I'll kill myself with heroin overdose to experience some pleasure again before I'm gone. I'll read that book you mentioned, thanks for the recommendation. Now I'm curious...

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

I'll read that book you mentioned, thanks for the recommendation. Now I'm curious...

Please do. It's an American classic; Charles Dickens is the author. Death, blood, and executions are prevalent themes throughout. Many kids read it in high school (grades 9 thru 12 in the US). Being young and stupid (but equally suicidal) at that age, I didn't enjoy it because I found the text too cryptic. But when I reread it as an adult, I found it to be really brilliant. It's a dark, scathing political commentary.

One element I didn't like, and still don't, is the excessive vulnerability the seamstress showed. She reached out to Sydney Carton for comfort far too strongly, rather than face death with peaceful dignity like he did. At least he died after doing a noble deed, and she died feeling comforted.

 

[DontplayGod]

My "ideal" fantasy consists of taking a hand grenade in my teeth and pulling the ring out. Quick and dirty, not to mention 100% effective. Although an open-casket funeral would be out of the question at that point.

I got that fantasy from a violent video game I like: Postal 2. The main guy (the character you control) can use it if he's caught in an escapable situation, like falling in a deep pit or being captured by terrorists. Then he dies, and restarts at the latest save point. The part where the guy's explodes isn't shown, but you can see him take the hand grenade in his teeth and pull the ring.

This has quickly become my new ideal method. Don't think it would be very realistic tho, unless I somehow get my hands on one

 

[Euthanza]

I'm big fan of anything art of suicide, be it movies, songs, poems or articles, and of course memes too haha ... Sometimes I wonder if I'm insane for this obsession. I glorify them eventhough my circumstances is too faraway it wouldn't be as ideal as my imagination.

I think I've just found a hero, posted in this forum before