Discussion Does anyone else feel the urge more as their birthday draws near?

[sserafim]

Yeah mine is in february, i will turn 24. I really wanna go before that. I can't believe i'm already almost 24 and my early 20s are over. I completely missed out on them and i don't wanna continue living. A birthday for me is a reminder again of how i'm not really living life

Same, I can't believe I'm already 23. Honestly, I still feel 18 at most. I had wanted to go before I turned 23 a few days ago, but I didn't get around to it.

I want to go before I reach 25 though. I hate my birthday because it's a reminder of the passage of time, and how I'm forced to get older year after year. I never wanted to live past 18, and I definitely want to die before I reach 25. I will use my birthday as an incentive to die, if that makes any sense

 

[Jamesun]

I totally agree, sometimes it makes me feel even worse, like a useless person who hasn't been able to kill himself for another year.

 

[turntechGodhead]

yes, it just reminds me that my death is long overdue

 

[Sid19]

It's been few years since I have feel nothing for my birthday. This year is different though. My mother, probably the closest and only person who was with me, is no more with me. I don't even want to think about my birthday at all now. My family will still celebrate it. Not many cared about my mother when she was alive. Most of them are two faced people who are only here to show they cared about her, and care about me. As my birthday is coming in 2 days we will celebrate it cause I don't want to cause any trouble with anyone until my ctb (which I planned to do in the next 1-2 months).

 

[waRmblanket]

one of my dates was my birthday, but i got my SN later than i wanted. i got it a few days before my birthday, i knew better than to use it without testing. i want my attempt to be successful, i don't want to live.

 

[sserafim]

yes, it just reminds me that my death is long overdue

Same! I should've died a long time ago

I totally agree, sometimes it makes me feel even worse, like a useless person who hasn't been able to kill himself for another year.

Me as well…I had wanted to check out before 18 but never got around to it, but I will ctb before 25. If not, life will just pass me by. Time never stops flowing and moving forward