Does anyone else feel that their suicide will have to happen eventually no matter what?

[Pollenallergy]

Recently I've been visiting a psychologist, some last attempt at bettering my life. Yet despite this rather unpleasant help I'm receiving, despite the strange yearning I have for wanting to rid myself of these feelings and urges. I just genuinely believe that I have to end to my own life, I know things won't work out in the future, I know all these good things I currently have, my friends, my lover, they will all be taken from me with time, and I would rather die than live with that. Even if I were to "recover", I just know that I will have to do it, it's inevitable and it will happen, one day or another. I'm not sure why I feel this way, it comes to mind every single day, time is running out.

 

[Slasher]

I'm sure i'll die from ctb before I die from anything else. It's only just a matter of time. Having the choice of when to die brings me such peace I love it.

 

[CursedReality88]

One thing I do know is that you have friends and a lover. You being afraid of losing them is causing you tremendous amount of pain. I hope you can find peace and instead of worrying, be grateful and LIVE while you have them. Worry about ctb later. Death is unavoidable, but you don't have to think about it everyday. Cherish your time with them! Change your mindset. The more you think it will fail, the more you will slowly make sure it will fail.

 

[whatevs]

Maybe there's such as thing as fate, I've come to consider. There are certain lives that seem crooked, where Murphy's Law applies more.

 

[TraurigerClown]

Recently I've been visiting a psychologist, some last attempt at bettering my life. Yet despite this rather unpleasant help I'm receiving, despite the strange yearning I have for wanting to rid myself of these feelings and urges. I just genuinely believe that I have to end to my own life, I know things won't work out in the future, I know all these good things I currently have, my friends, my lover, they will all be taken from me with time, and I would rather die than live with that. Even if I were to "recover", I just know that I will have to do it, it's inevitable and it will happen, one day or another. I'm not sure why I feel this way, it comes to mind every single day, time is running out.

Im feeling the same....recovered from some heavy shit around easter time and now with new job and enthusiasm in it, i still know i have to die very soon! I cant even imagine living weithout this knowlegde more or less urgent in me

 

[clavicals]

Yeah. Like I've come so far from where I've been. 10 years of therapy. My day to day life has improved somewhat but hope for the future is bleak as fuck.
What's the point if I can't function like a human being. I don't want to suffer. I've learnt what I can for this life. Bring on the next one

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Me I just know that inevitably I will die by ctb and soon… I'm so desperate to leave this hell and i have a date set for all of this so I hope it will all go well

If my method doesn't work I will end up using a violent method to make sure that there is no change to surviving.

 

[Deathisbetter]

Recently I've been visiting a psychologist, some last attempt at bettering my life. Yet despite this rather unpleasant help I'm receiving, despite the strange yearning I have for wanting to rid myself of these feelings and urges. I just genuinely believe that I have to end to my own life, I know things won't work out in the future, I know all these good things I currently have, my friends, my lover, they will all be taken from me with time, and I would rather die than live with that. Even if I were to "recover", I just know that I will have to do it, it's inevitable and it will happen, one day or another. I'm not sure why I feel this way, it comes to mind every single day, time is running out.

Yes your not alone I feel that way to I am funking fed up with being here on this planet

 

[Archness]

Some people like me are living garbage. Living as filthy scum and finding a way to die earlier then most.
The best life I could live would be distracted, entertained, and eternally escaping reality with tech and virt.world .That's just [me] trash living in [society] the dumpster.

I might've made this account alot earlyer then I should, as I might not ctb this year, or even the next. However, when you're not worth jack shit and life could offer no substance, then you're as good a dead, litterally. Then you only keep yourself alive to escape that very life.... Honestly, death is the only true escape from it all.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Some people like me are living garbage. Living as filthy scum and finding a way to die earlier then most.
The best life I could live would be distracted, entertained, and eternally escaping reality with tech and virt.world .That's just [me] trash living in [society] the dumpster.

I might've made this account alot earlyer then I should, as I might not ctb this year, or even the next. However, when you're not worth jack shit and life could offer no substance, then you're as good a dead, litterally. Then you only keep yourself alive to escape that very life.... Honestly, death is the only true escape from it all.

Sorry I know I shouldn't laugh but I couldn't help but laugh but I do understand we are going to decay and turn into worms regardless on how life might have been for you or even living in a "basement" as per say…

However, I beg to differ people like Cheslie or Tara had everything that anyone could dream of ( looks, great careers etc) but they still chose ctb.

I understand some people choose ctb as a way to escape this life as you say but some do it as well because they just don't enjoy this life and existing.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Yes, my CTB is a complete and utter inevitability.
I suffer from persistent, untreatable depression, severe childhood abuse trauma, existential crisis, and I'm homeless.
Not much going for me really, or any hope of a future whatsoever.

 

[Vizzy]

Yes my ctb is coming soon

 

[Daxter_87]

Sure, when my parents die. I struggle to survive with their help and support, imagine having to do it without it. Just horrific to think about.

 

[savoytruffle]

yep, i have literally no other choice: i will never finish university or hold a job, which makes me entirely worthless; right now im only alive because my mother is alive. every day i dread the possibility of finding her dead, which would mean i am instantly homeless.

there's literally no other path for me, it's the end of the road and i will not stand by while life makes me her bitch any longer

 

[Archness]

Sorry I know I shouldn't laugh but I couldn't help but laugh but I do understand we are going to decay and turn into worms regardless on how life might have been for you or even living in a "basement" as per say…

However, I beg to differ people like Cheslie or Tara had everything that anyone could dream of ( looks, great careers etc) but they still chose ctb.

I understand some people choose ctb as a way to escape this life as you say but some do it as well because they just don't enjoy this life and existing.

It's just the tl;dr of my reasons to ctb. It's not rly abt having "nothing" or "not everything", it's abt the lack of "substance". Just had to make extra sure ppl don't think I'm ctb'ing bc I'm poor or not rich.

living in a "basement"

Sure, when my parents die. I struggle to survive with their help and support, imagine having to do it without it. Just horrific to think about.

Yeah, fam hates how I "Live in mom's basement". But I basically have nothing going for me and I'll prb live and die on the streets if they just kick me out.

 

[fay13]

after my last failed suicide attempted , i have been thinking about visiting a therapist , and i honestly feel like it won't change anything , the situation that i am in , i know that i have to end it as soon as possible ,and i am honestly happy with it , i started crying after my last suicide attempt failed and i said to myself " don't feel bad , we will do it one day"

Maybe there's such as thing as fate, I've come to consider. There are certain lives that seem crooked, where Murphy's Law applies more.

i have been depressed after my last attempted , this qoute made me feel a bit better
also , i love your profile picture , one of my favorite characters

I'm sure i'll die from ctb before I die from anything else. It's only just a matter of time. Having the choice of when to die brings me such peace I love it.

what method did you choose? will it 100% work? i had the same thinking and peace you had , until i decided to end it sadly and it didn't work.

 

[willitpass]

I've had that feeling since I was 12. That no matter what happens, whether it be tomorrow, 5 months from now, or 15 years from now, it will one day be what ends my life. Yet 9 years and 3 serious attempts later Im still waiting. I hope my next attempt seals my fate.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

It's just the tl;dr of my reasons to ctb. It's not rly abt having "nothing" or "not everything", it's abt the lack of "substance". Just had to make extra sure ppl don't think I'm ctb'ing bc I'm poor or not rich.

That's why I even mentioned to you that it's not important and you don't have to justify to anyone why you want to ctb and it seems as if you are actually doing it for others ?!

What does " lack of substance" even mean in this context?? You don't happen to be "obsessed" with other people's private lives do you ? Because that's what someone who lacks in substance is to me…

 

[LikeAPendulum]

I was so close to hanging myself 5 years ago, but i chickened out and compromised myself. Since then, alot of things, some out of my control, went for the worse. I had times where i was motivated to improve and actively did it, but eventually the energy runs out. I have little to lose, little of value. I want to die young and clean than grow to be old and sinful.

I made up my mind 5 years ago. I won't make the same mistake i made back then.

Sorry I know I shouldn't laugh but I couldn't help but laugh but I do understand we are going to decay and turn into worms regardless on how life might have been for you or even living in a "basement" as per say…

However, I beg to differ people like Cheslie or Tara had everything that anyone could dream of ( looks, great careers etc) but they still chose ctb.

I understand some people choose ctb as a way to escape this life as you say but some do it as well because they just don't enjoy this life and existing.

i gotta admit, "That's just [me] trash living in [society] the dumpster." gave me a good chuckle.

me living in dumoster (society) More like "We live in a society"

 

[helicoptero]

I feel the same way. I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for years. Had a couple attempts, and constant suicidal thoughts. I thought I recovered, but I relapsed. It's like a cycle that repeats every couple months or years.

I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like once you have real serious suicidal thoughts there's no coming back. Let me explain, I think some people can recover and live a normal life, but that thought is always there, it may be "asleep", but it's there. It can be triggered relatively easily.

I think I'll end up CTB eventually. I feel it's the time already, but I don't want to rush. I have some time planning it and preparing for it. I know that sooner than later I'll be gone.

 

[Nights]

Yes, since the age of 10 i realized that i will end up suiciding no matter what happens, but i gave myself a lot of time to see if life will get better or not, i attempted to ctb many times and failed due to lack of resources

 

[TiredOrbit]

I'm sure i will end up CTB at one point in my life. I have no future possible, im stuck in this eternal state of despair. How am I ever going to reach 30 yo with my disabled body and mind, stuck at home, with no possibility of having a job bc of my disability. There's no way my bf will put up with me for so long while he stats to blossom at his new job. He's all happy and i'm so proud of him. But how could he grow even more with me holding him back. A choice will have to be made and the only thing keeping me alive will rightfully disappear from my sight forever. Everything is gonna happen just like this and it'll be the end.

 

[dimstar]

I know unless some unforeseen freak accident I will take my own life. When I'm not sure but it's a fate I feel so tied too at this point I'd be damn pissed if it wasnt done by me. It just feels right and I hope others can accept and be as happy as I will on my deathday.

 

[jonghyun]

I have always been bothered about the fact that you are usually unable to control the way you die and the time/date/place. I remember this bothered me from a young age, i hate not knowing. For this reason i want to control the end of my own life so yeah basically.. its a matter of time

 

[Deleted member 66286]

I know that I'll end up CTB at some point. I don't want to get too old to see my body deteriorate, but I don't know how much longer I can last with everything going on in my life. i'vd had suicidal thoughts for years and at this point I've accepted they it's never going to get better

 

[garbage01]

I have always considered ctb to be inevitable. I cannot imagine myself dying by anything other than my own hands. I cannot imagine myself past my 30s at the most. I have accepted that I will end up alone and ctb would save me from being a middle aged failure with the knowledge that this was the life I was destined to live. I'm chronically ill both mentally and physically, with age my problems will only get worse. There is nothing good up ahead for me.

 

[Scythe]

I personally really REALLY want to die from a suicide within the next three years. I'm not entirely sure if I will 100% die from suicide, but I can say with confidence there's a good 95%. The future of AI isn't looking good for us, the government and corperates never cared about us, now that AI is here we will just be tossed aside and replaced like those old phones and TVs. I also don't want to watch my body age and wither away.

 

[quwroflucilfer3]

Recently I've been visiting a psychologist, some last attempt at bettering my life. Yet despite this rather unpleasant help I'm receiving, despite the strange yearning I have for wanting to rid myself of these feelings and urges. I just genuinely believe that I have to end to my own life, I know things won't work out in the future, I know all these good things I currently have, my friends, my lover, they will all be taken from me with time, and I would rather die than live with that. Even if I were to "recover", I just know that I will have to do it, it's inevitable and it will happen, one day or another. I'm not sure why I feel this way, it comes to mind every single day, time is running out.

I don't understand people who are optimistic about life. Even if we don't ctb oursleves, life is just going to kill us eventually and probably in a more painful way than being able to ctb. Choosing the most painless and graceful exit seem like a no brainer even to a pro -lifer, but they still are so afraid of facing death they will force others to live with them for as long as they exist.

 

[TAW122]

Yes, especially after reaching adulthood, I figured that I did not wish to die by natural causes, other causes, or by uncontrolled circumstances. If anything, I always wanted to die by my own hand and on my own terms. Given how life is going and the direction that things are headed in the world, I would not wish to die by other circumstances (likely miserable and painful) outside of my control, but on my own terms.

 

[leftdreaming]

That's all I seem to feel anymore.