Does anyone else feel like their life is tragic?

[sserafim]

It seems like a theme in my life is a fall from grace. I was born into a wealthy, well-off family and grew up in one of the richest towns in America. I went to an elite college, but failed to launch into adulthood and am now a hiki aka NEET. These songs describe my life. It feels like my life is a tragedy

 

[Christopher Reeve]

This song meant a lot to me when I was a teenager, when I fell out of love with religion

 

[theboy]

mental tragedy

 

[sserafim]

mental tragedy

Wdym? I feel like my life is like "the primadonna life the rise and fall"

 

[theboy]

Wdym? I feel like my life is like "the primadonna life the rise and fall"

i mean, all the "tragedies" only happen in my head because nothing happens in my external environment. what did you mean by what you wrote?

 

[sserafim]

i mean, all the "tragedies" only happen in my head because nothing happens in my external environment. what did you mean by what you wrote?

Just the fact that I've failed in life when I used to be successful, and was projected to be a high achiever and do "great things"

"Used to be a winner, everything was all black and white
Now I'm bottom of the pile, a dusty photo"

 

[theboy]

Just the fact that I've failed in life when I used to be successful, and was projected to be a high achiever and do "great things"

"Used to be a winner, everything was all black and white
Now I'm bottom of the pile, a dusty photo"

Oh, I'm sorry. It seems that something happened in your life that triggered your current malaise.

 

[offtoseethewizard]

Certainly

 

[Oliver]

Definitely. That's why I want to end it (soon).

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I used to think of myself as a tragedy, but now that I've just completely stopped valuing life, achieving things or having a good life has become meaningless. It makes no difference whether I "fulfill my potential" or not, I just wanna die.

 

[druggedonsurvival]

I too feel like I've wasted my potential, although I wouldn't really call it a "tragedy." Maybe it was fate.

 

[sserafim]

I too feel like I've wasted my potential, although I wouldn't really call it a "tragedy." Maybe it was fate.

Why do you think it was fate? Do you think that some people are destined to fail in life?

 

[druggedonsurvival]

Why do you think it was fate? Do you think that some people are destined to fail in life?

I don't really believe in fate in the traditional sense, more like I don't believe free will exists because who we become is a result more of the things that happen to us than the conscious decision to be who we are. So when I say maybe it was fate, it's kind of like saying this was the only logical path that could have resulted from the chain of events that occurred throughout my life, which I had no control over.

 

[Labyrinth]

You will be able to get out of this situation. Just make sure it's not too late when you do.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Why do you think it was fate? Do you think that some people are destined to fail in life?

I think I was destined to CTB no matter what events transpired in my life. If certain things hadn't happened, maybe I would've had an extra few years, but I think just due to my personality, I was always going to end up here.

 

[sserafim]

You will be able to get out of this situation. Just make sure it's not too late when you do.

Wdym?

 

[SueAsyde]

It's interesting to see that people, even tho it seems like they already given up, always hang on something. Look for a deeper meaning in whatever goes. For some people it's just simple movie quotes; for some it may be something like those motivational quotes; others like to clinge onto religion and some others look for a deeper meaning in music (mostly lyrics). I am one of the last kind aswell. I think, in my case at least, it's just my brain trying to heal, having a grain of hope. Either way it's the reality of those of experience it. It's true for those even tho it's not true for others. Kinda makes me think more about what is true and what not.
And to answer your question: Yes i do. I feel like my life is a tragic piece of some twisted mind who thought it'd be funny to make a cruel drama. I'm having epilepsy which delays the right anti depressants for me since i also could run into a higher risk to get another seizure solely due to serotonin and its function as a messenger for feelings of happiness and as a messenger that is released during all kinds of muscle movements. What a fucking joke. Excuse my wording. I'm always there for others while those don't recognize me being unstable most of the time. Hell.. I'm to blame for that by now. I push people away that try to help me, feeling abandoned when they do so but also feeling like a mastermind because i know i did it on purpose and they're just my puppets so to speak. I used to make fun of people who try to cope by having sex with strangers, now i'm the one doing the same thing, not only that but actively seeking out the most shady people for it in hopes of getting treated like i feel most of the time, like i deserve all of it. There's a macabrous thin line between drama and comedy, that's for sure.
I used to steal my mothers anti depressants when i was like 17 years old. Abusing them, taking 10 pills a day (5 pills at once and after around 1h and a half i drop the other 5 pills because otherwise i'd just throw em up). Now, at age 26, i got anti depressants as prescription medication. Not even the therapists or psychiatrists could understand me, they just said i had to be brave. Like, that would be everything i'd need.
And my absolute favorites:
Call the telephone counseling service and no one answers.
In the psychiatric ward of my nearest hospital, I spoke to a therapist who always told me (no matter what topic I wanted to discuss) that "that would go beyond the scope". Thanks for nothing. Speaking of it. I had myself admitted in the hope, among other things, that I would get a diagnosis so that I would at least know what was wrong with me. The same therapist said I had borderline. A few months later, same institution only this time I was in the day clinic with other therapists. It was said that I had a Dependent and an Avoidant personality disorder without any trace of actual borderline. And on top of that, a therapist asked me what the "gain from illness" was. I'm still upset that she didn't understand that I wanted to know what was going on with me and not try to gain anything from it. Because the other patients, in fact all the other patients there, were completely satisfied with the therapists, I doubt myself. Is my second diagnosis correct? Is my first one correct? Do I want sickness gain? What really is the disorder and what am I? What is the truth? The circle closes again here.

tl;dr
Yes, you're not alone.

 

[Malaria]

Probably because I've been gaslit so much, but I feel like my life isn't that bad and I'm just whiny or that all the bad stuff that happened in my life was my fault... But when I tell other people what I've been through, they say it's pretty bad so it's hard to say.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Don't feel that you're abnormal. I am 44 and almost fully-blown hikkomori.

But at one point, I was married, had my own sucessful business, house and was well-known and admired in a social circle of many people. Then I got divorced and the timing just matched up perfectly for me to move back home to take care of my aging parents. My caring instincts took over automatically and I found myself just naturally putting their needs over mine. But it was only convenient for both them and me if I stayed in the same house. Then I just slowly fell deeper and deeoper into hiki mode. If i'm not at work, I'm alone in my room. Yes, I am not too ashamed to admit that I am that guy that "lives in his parent's basement." Luckily at this age, I couldn't care less. I'm old enough to realize that most people living the house with white picket fence "American dream" have many problems behind closed doors.

What pushed you into hiki mode may have been different from me. But generally speaking, I think there is an unfair stigma attached to being hiki. I think it's a very rational and sensible way to live tbh. I don't have the energy to socialize and be fake to people's faces. I don't know how people do it. Somehow, somewhere along the line, it was simply decided by society that isolating and not wanting to interact with people is weird beahavior. I think being hiki involves having a high-level of self-awareness and a keen understanding that the world is just so messed up that it's not even worth experiencing.

COVID definitely didn't help either. The world collapsed and I feel it has never been the same. And won't ever be. At least not in my lifetime. If I have to live the rest of my days as a hiki, I'm fine with it. Especially being that I'm on the spectrum. Death would of course be my first choice though. Human consciouness in general is just to exhausting for me.

 

[tbroken]

Don't feel that you're abnormal. I am 44 and almost fully-blown hikkomori.

But at one point, I was married, had my own sucessful business, house and was well-known and admired in a social circle of many people. Then I got divorced and the timing just matched up perfectly for me to move back home to take care of my aging parents. My caring instincts took over automatically and I found myself just naturally putting their needs over mine. But it was only convenient for both them and me if I stayed in the same house. Then I just slowly fell deeper and deeoper into hiki mode. If i'm not at work, I'm alone in my room. Yes, I am not too ashamed to admit that I am that guy that "lives in his parent's basement." Luckily at this age, I couldn't care less. I'm old enough to realize that most people living the house with white picket fence "American dream" have many problems behind closed doors.

What pushed you into hiki mode may have been different from me. But generally speaking, I think there is an unfair stigma attached to being hiki. I think it's a very rational and sensible way to live tbh. I don't have the energy to socialize and be fake to people's faces. I don't know how people do it. Somehow, somewhere along the line, it was simply decided by society that isolating and not wanting to interact with people is weird beahavior. I think being hiki involves having a high-level of self-awareness and a keen understanding that the world is just so messed up that it's not even worth experiencing.

COVID definitely didn't help either. The world collapsed and I feel it has never been the same. And won't ever be. At least not in my lifetime. If I have to live the rest of my days as a hiki, I'm fine with it. Especially being that I'm on the spectrum. Death would of course be my first choice though. Human consciouness in general is just to exhausting for me.

True.
Also independently from being born rich or poor, you are thrown in a certain life and you can't always decide who you want to be. I mean, i'm ok, i'm also a certain kind of hikki, but I don't know if I like or don't like who i am. Plus, i'm always focusing my mind on negative stuff and the 'dangers of society'. I May not be the best, but at least i always try to be usefull, there are certain ppl that only act as smart and reckless and 'steal' other people work... I can't stand these ppl, wether they are males or females and I can't stop thinking about this.

 

[uzuf86]

My life is a huge tragedy. I never expected it would turn out the way it is today.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

My actions and my personality are an incredible tragedy.

 

[Kurai]

Yes my life is a tragedy, I'm pretty much a neet too just need to end my life soon

 

[Praestat_Mori]

My life became a tragedy after my big failure. Everything only increased suffering and still does. No luck in life anymore. And there's no suitable way out.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, all of my close families lives have been tragedies. My Mum in particular always wanted children. They were told it was a medical impossibility but then she finds she is pregnant but also has cancer and dies 3 years later. My Grandad dies before that - a week or two before my parents wedding, so my Nana loses him and her daughter effectively at that time. My Grandparents raise me after my Mum dies but my Grandpa also dies when I'm 4. Then, my Nana dies when I'm 10 and my Grandma at 19.

My Dad remarries and life just gets a whole lot worse growing up with a (suspected) narcissist. Ironically, things were 'happier' for me when I only had my close family to mourn earier in life. Ages 10-18 are still the very worst of my life- to date.

But yeah, I'd say most of my close families lives have been tragic in places. I think my entire life is the biggest tragedy though. I wish my Mum would have gotten chemo, aborted me and lived a little longer.

 

[JustGiveNovacaine]

I had everything I needed, all the support. I don't know when everything went wrong. I was supposed to be a functional adult, and instead I'm anything but that. I feel like I lived everything I had to live and I'm doing extra time. And all the same time I feel like a burden to my family. That's not what I'm supposed to be. I failed.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Unawareness about ASD and a poor family with the alcoholic dad were my main traumatizing factors

 

[Meteora]

I think I was destined to CTB no matter what events transpired in my life. If certain things hadn't happened, maybe I would've had an extra few years, but I think just due to my personality, I was always going to end up here.

I relate.... it is so painful that I tried so hard to live this life when actually I was doomed to die from the very beginning on.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

My life is a tragedy due to my own mind. I started as a mediocre student and was able to rise and get success but my mental state was just getting worse due to deaths around me and loneliness.

Now I'm successful with a good job, nice house and my boyfriend who is my life but my brain is failing me. I can't feel as happy as I should with what I have, I live with crumbs of happiness and 5 course meals of deep sadness.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes, my life is a tragedy before I even understood that I was alive. I was born with a neurotype that is incompatible with the world which has caused me so much suffering. In addition, I rarely managed to enjoy things and, today, I don't really enjoy the things that people do. I didn't even click on the two music videos on your post as I know that I'll just be apathetic to it as I am to everything. It's a tragedy that I'm even alive as I'm just so against most of the things that occurs around me, especially the ways in which humans operate and treat each other. I'm no better than the rest of humanity but still

Do you think that some people are destined to fail in life?

Hell yes. It took me far longer than it should have to come to this conclusion because pro lifers like to pretend that everybody can just be happy and successful if they have a good enough mindset hence implying that those who fail actually fail because of their own lack of effort instead of fate or destiny. However, now I understand that some people are just destined to fail in life and, no matter what others say, this will always be true. It's an uncomfortable truth but it's the truth nonetheless