Venting Does anyone eles feel very alone ?

[Buddha.e.c]

I feel very alone in the sense that i have nobody to talk in in irl idk if that can be a major sign of why im getting worse not sure but the more im alone the more im starting to realize i dont have any reason to be alive i dont have a social life or friends or family to talk to about how i feel only SS . Soon enough i will get sick and tired and CTB sooner then later becuase i cant take it anymore living doesnt make sense anymore .

 

[FuneralCry]

I always feel very alone and isolated, I cannot connect and relate to others, but I would rather be alone than be around other people. Overall, I cannot stand people. My loneliness is more of a empty feeling that nothing would ever take away.

 

[CommitSudoku]

Very alone. All I've got left are empty words from others, we never have real conversations. I do think there's a correlation between being alone and getting worse, just my belief. I've always had anxiety with talking but I've still always yearned to have that connection with someone to share intimate things and have deep conversations. You're not alone in that others also feel alone, and yet we're all still alone and often suffering too much to change it or it can't be changed. Oh what a wonderful world...

 

[foreveralone]

Super alone, I have family around me but no real deep social connections. The people I want to have such a connection with aren't interested in being active people in my life.

I'm sorry you feel alone, I feel happy that we have this community and the ability to CTB when we want, it's the silver lining to this cruel world.

 

[Mr2005]

If you've said you feel alone and then you're asked if you feel alone you're going to feel more alone

 

[Lostkitten1]

Here is one place you are never alone.

 

[someonelse]

I feel very alone in my experience being bipolar with psychotic episodes. I have friends and even some amazing ones who have been hugely sympathetic and there for me. But the nightmare of being bipolar is something that makes me feel alone. I know other people experience it and I've even been in support groups for it, but my experience feels very singular which makes me feel totally alone in this world.

 

[Nati]

Of course we are alone… usually people can't understand us then what's the point even trying communicating?
Sometimes I think about how sad and stupid this situation… We (suicidal people) are such a big community, in this site and beyond and still we are so alone.
We won't meet up or even do a group video call since most of us have anxiety or ashamed for some reason… we don't know who's in the other side and it might make people feel unsafe. These forums are nice but it's nothing like actually seeing the face of the people and actually using your voice.
It's a nice fantasy that one day people that feel suicidal could get in group video calls and just talk like they would on a group chat. The interaction would certainly help a lot of people but it would be so hard to do the first step and actually showing your face. I know it would be hard for me..

 

[Lostkitten1]

but my experience feels very singular which makes me feel totally alone in this world

I suffer from autism, I know how you feel. It's true that we all experience our own reality, cut off from each other, isolated by our own individual experience of the same world. But being isolated doesn't mean you're alone. If you want to talk, there are people here who will listen. There are people here who will talk if all you want to do is to listen. We are all isolated, but we are never alone.

 

[olkf]

Oh yes I feel alone but it's all just waiting

 

[Rob1984]

Loneliness is something I'm incredibly familiar with. Been feeling it for most of my life. But to fight the loneliness, I decided to hangout with toxic people. Which as you can imagine, only made things worse for me. I realized, I would rather be lonely than hangout with people who drag me down. I'm still discovering myself and I'm hoping one day I will meet the right type of ppl (or person) that fits into my life. Just because I chose shitty ppl to be around most of my life doesn't mean there aren't ppl out there who I can cultivate a good friendship with. There are almost 8 billion ppl in this world, and 330 million in my country. There's got to be at least one person who will make me feel good about being in their life :)

 

[rudebeat]

I am very alone but I don't feel alone, if that makes any sense. For 2 years I've been out of college, 1 year was due to COVID, another was health issues and while I was planning on returning this semester I just withdrew again. I went 2 years without seeing anyone I knew in real life besides my 12 year old brother. I've been avoiding everyone around me for the past few weeks because of something that might be a nervous habit, I'm not really sure if it's even stress that's causing it but I was called a freak twice in the same day in 2 different classes because of it. I'm avoiding all my friends because I don't want to know how they'd react. I don't feel alone (even though I am) because I know that it's not my fault and other people in my situation would be going through the same thing. I've got a doctor's appointment for this condition in 9 days and I have a medication in mind to ask for to stop the "nervous" habit or whatever. Whether I decide to ctb or not pretty much hinges on this right now. I can't give up on my entire social life forever. Not to mention how uncomfortable it will make interacting with people in general in work if I can't get this medication.

 

[inanimate]

incredibly, I have 1 "friend" and I don't enjoy his company. most of my family hates me. most people I've ever met dislike me. im afraid of communicating with people or of people even seeing me. it's impossible to change, the loneliness just seemed to perpetuate itself on the inside and out.

 

[Looooser]

I feel alone because I know my friends and family don't fully understand my mental issues, which is good, but even I don't understand them. I am glad they don't know the pain I feel. But it's hard to talk to people that truly do not understand. I'm happy to have this site to talk to people but it's still not quite the same as face to face.

 

[LostMyWorld]

As a widow I'm very alone now, half of me is gone. My best friend/soulmate for decades, since I was a teenager is gone. Talk about loneliness and emptiness. Why…for no reason, we were very happy and good people, youngish & didn't ask or want for much, just to be with each other.

 

[inanimate]

As a widow I'm very alone now, half of me is gone. My best friend/soulmate for decades, since I was a teenager is gone. Talk about loneliness and emptiness. Why…for no reason, we were very happy and good people, youngish & didn't ask or want for much, just to be with each other.

im so so sorry. I can't imagine how empty it must feel sometimes.

 

[Buddha.e.c]

I feel alone because I know my friends and family don't fully understand my mental issues, which is good, but even I don't understand them. I am glad they don't know the pain I feel. But it's hard to talk to people that truly do not understand. I'm happy to have this site to talk to people but it's still not quite the same as face to face.

Sometimes until the person or family member goes through depression and anxiety themselfs they will never understand the pain we feel sadly im going through that at the moment but i have no friends just with family but whatever happens i hope it goes good for you .

 

[medjooled11]

Personally, isolation and loneliness were never a problem until my personal life descended beyond my control.

I know I'm the only one responsible for full recovery, but the thought of being vulnerable (to lay bare all and feel raw in a sense) with a close body whether that'd be a friend or lover is often comforting.

 

[watchingthewheels]

Yes, I do...more than ever. I was just layed off from my job of 8 years due to outsourcing. I'm single with no kids, (and gay, yet not a part of the "LGBT community", as I don't fit "the lifestyle", yet can't be with the one person I ever loved that way). Work was the last thing I had in life, after I both cut off my family in 2017 after I found some nasty skeletons in the closet, and also lost my best friend at that same time. Then the world shut down. Now, this. I left the house for the first time since I found out this week, to go to the store, and almost broke down in tears in public thinking about how this might be it, and no one would miss me.

I got severance, and most likely will get unemployment, but my lease is up at the end of May. So I have to not only find a job, but a new place, as I don't know where I will be working, or if I will be able to afford this place once unemployment runs out. But worse than the uncertainty of work and home is that I have to start over again from scratch with people in the workplace. I have few connections in real life, now, and have no emotional or physical support, no one to even get a hug from.

I was already on borrowed time. I wanted to die after I found out about my family, but I didn't have the means. Then my best friend left. Then, as I started to rebuild and get myself together, and tried to find community online, which held me for a little bit, but I'm already introverted/Aspergerish, and a bit of an outsider, and on the sidelines, "watching the wheels". But I had sever kidney stone blockage for six months and almost died from that. (And I even wanted to, but survived it.) Then another 6 months to get back in shape and feeling alive, only for the world to shut down with Covid, and be cut off from most contact. Now, this; the last vestige of structure and support.

I am trying to tell myself that it will work out, that I have time and money to find something new, and maybe even something better. I've done it before. But I'm almost 48, and I just don't have the emotional fuel, this time. I was already planning my exit, now that I have the method and means in hand, once I payed down the last of my debts. I was only a few months away from doing so at this point, and was going to take it day-by-day, after that, and see where things went, what life choices were open to me. But now I feel like my hand is being forced. With severance, I could pay it off in a couple of weeks easily with money left to carry me while I figure out what's next. But that just feels like a cruel dangling carrot to keep me going indefinitely. The anxiety of having to find a job, a place, and start all over (that doesn't even cover the difficulty of trying to do so in the current economy/political climate), with no emotional and personal support, with no reason beyond my simply existing to exist...I've been lonely for too long, and I don't have it in me to start anew with strangers, at this point.

 

[Looooser]

Sometimes until the person or family member goes through depression and anxiety themselfs they will never understand the pain we feel sadly im going through that at the moment but i have no friends just with family but whatever happens i hope it goes good for you .

Thank you my friend. I hope the same for you as well.

 

[S like Siren]

Yeah me,i'm in the same situation but since like 7/8 years now,even before actually,never had many friends or people i could talk about everything

 

[Buddha.e.c]

Yeah me,i'm in the same situation but since like 7/8 years now,even before actually,never had many friends or people i could talk about everything

Many people dont understand pain until they go through some type of depression themselfs like family and friends for example even when you try to communicate they dismisse it .regardless of what happens wish you the best.

 

[S like Siren]

Many people dont understand pain until they go through some type of depression themselfs like family and friends for example even when you try to communicate they dismisse it .regardless of what happens wish you the best.

Exactly...in fact i explained it to my family thousand times but nothing...funny fact:neither Psychiatrists understand it...ahahah i laugh from desperation,thank you i wish you the best too

 

[StarryStarry]

Yes, more alone than I ever have in my life. I think I'm beginning to depend on the kindness of the people on this site too much. Nothing changes, nothing will ever change. I wish I could go back and do it over again. I wish I could be young and not give a shit that my parents were fuck-ups. I wish at some point in time I could have realized that I was worth living. But that time is long gone.

 

[Karik892]

Yes, alone by choice (difficulties to stand durable social relations). Currently, i cut off with friends for almost 2y, and Family 10y.
That depressing but I just cant do otherwise :(

 

[anonienonie]

I am physically alone-- no family, no job, and very few friends (conscious effort to let them go in preparation of CBT). I literally spent the last two years locked away in my condo. I don't feel lonely, although that's largely because I enjoy solitude.

 

[Karik892]

I am physically alone-- no family, no job, and very few friends (conscious effort to let them go in preparation of CBT). I literally spent the last two years locked away in my condo. I don't feel lonely, although that's largely because I enjoy solitude.

Also same for me. I enjoy solitude.
However, since several months I am suffering an illness that is making my life becoming very difficult/depressing and this is why I am thinkng seriously about cbt for several months now.

 

[raghu1977]

Super alone. No family whatsoever. Ive given away my pup to my maid. I have a couple of friends that I chat with occasionally.

Apart from that nada. Do i feel lonely? Do i wish things had turned out differently? Maybe.

But I think I was born defective. Something is not wired right in my head. And life hasnt been super helpful either.

So - yeah - ready to ctb. And i am sure no one will care. And it doesnt trouble me in the slightest. In fact - makes thibgs easier, tidier.

 

[Chiisai]

Honestly yes but I try not to care too much. Afterall, attachments to this world wont matter anymore once I leave.

 

[Pricelessadvice]

This isolation & loneliness is what is going to drive me over the cliff. Humans weren't made to live like I have been living.