Do you wish your suicidal thoughts would go away?

[Dinozauria]

I definitely lean on the side of no. I'm curious about others opinions though

 

[geepeedee]

what would be the point? i'd still be stuck in the same situation that's making me suicidal.

 

[Dinozauria]

what would be the point? i'd still be stuck in the same situation that's making me suicidal.

Precisely my thoughts. I do hope your situation becomes better someday though, no matter how you go about achieving that

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

what would be the point? i'd still be stuck in the same situation that's making me suicidal.

Yup. Same past, same prospects for the future, same character.

 

[thelostautistic]

I don't even know. They're so painful when they're really bad but it would feel so strange not having them. It's just a feeling I'm used to now. I can't remember not feeling suicidal

 

[FuneralCry]

No, all I want is to never suffer ever again, I'd never wish for the dreadful, torturous and evil abomination of existence that just causes all this torture, suffering and agony with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, to suffer in this existence is the most terrible mistake to me and for me ceasing to exist would be the positive solution.

For me wanting to permanently cease existing is a response to being conscious in this torturous, futile and harmful existence that only ever causes pain and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, wanting to never suffer again is all I know, existence is the problem and it's one only non-existence can solve for me. I just hope for permanent peace from the terrible cruelty, suffering and evil of existence, no matter what this existence should never be imposed, it's just the most terrible, devastating tragedy how humans cause all this dreadful suffering by so tragically imposing this existence.

 

[Caspers]

Is it bad that I feel comfort in them?

 

[LigottiIsRight]

I wish the issues that lead me to having those thoughts would go away. They're the real problem.

 

[wine is fine but]

for the most part, everyone does - or at least wish they never existed

short of those who are in chronic pain, everyone would when it is all said and done. people with no suicidal thoughts have a chance of happiness. suicidal thoughts get in the way of living life to the fullest and also allowing people to feel happiness. contrary to what may be a popular belief here, happiness is not always about feeling 10 out of 10. it is about seeing and noticing the little things that matter to people, and while feeling (maybe) 5-7 out of ten most times, allows them to hit 9-10 regular enough to love their existence

it is a very complex topic, but since it seems that many people here have had their lives become worse due actions taken because of suicidal thoughts, if none were present in the first place, most people here would be on other sites, enjoying their existence instead of planning what seems to be their inevitable demise

Is it bad that I feel comfort in them?

depends on what you mean by bad

of course, it is not bad, in the sense, that you (and everyone) deserves every bit of comfort we can get and if having particular thoughts give you comfort, then by all means, those thoughts are good for you

sadly, it is bad for you, that you are in a situation where you do get comfort from them. if your comfort came from loving your existence, then i am tipping that you would be in a better mental state and therefore happier, more comfortable and more content . . . but no, overall you should not feel bad that you get comfort from them

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

sadly, it is bad for you, that you are in a situation where you do get comfort from them

This is true, and troubling. The more I take refuge in suicidal thoughts, the deeper the hole I have to dig myself out of after I chicken out.

 

[Afterglow]

Having just the suicidal thoughts disappear wouldn't be nearly enough.

It'd have to full on cure my depression too for me to consider it. I would still be miserable, tired, uninterested in things, and unable to find love.

 

[soributton]

I've lived with suicidal thoughts all my life. I wouldn't wish them away because I don't know the world without them.

 

[Fresh Soju]

I wish they would intensify so that I'd attempt again, or just disappear all together. I dislike being in this in-between state.

 

[thelostautistic]

Is it bad that I feel comfort in them?

Not at all. I kind of feel the same way

 

[Warum]

honestly yes. i would love to be free of those thoughts and enjoy a regular life.

 

[nitrogenous]

I wish it would go away with the condition that my problems also go away. Otherwise, it's so suffocating to live how I live now with no SI. How am I meant to express myself then?

 

[Feux]

I don't deserve to want to live.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

No, I'm ready or willing to let them go.

 

[Forveleth]

My suicidal thoughts are the result of my circumstances. Wishing they would go away or getting rid of them does not change the situation that initially caused them. If my suicidal thoughts went away I would still be miserable but now no longer have an exit plan. If I could change my life so I would not have been living ad to contemplating suicide at all, then yes. But I would hate to be this depressed and not feel comfortable with ending my life.

 

[bakenohana]

my suicidal thoughts feel very core to my identity and are infact one of the only things i can confidently say "this is me" about. I resist any form of therapy or medication partly for this reason, i dont want my suicidality to ever be brainwashed out of my head so i can be more "socially acceptable" for people's liking. I like being suicidal I wouldn't feel like myself if I wasn't. the idea is so foreign to me

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

To me my suicide us the only rational goal so why would I want suicidal thoughts to go away. I want these to increase and intensify so I'm thinking it all the time at the utmost desire and intensity

 

[aesthetic]

the only thing i can think about every day is killing myself. i wish i didn't have these thoughts anymore.

 

[SASU-KE]

No, I don't. I want the underlying issues causing them to go away.

 

[left0vers]

I wish they would intensify so that I'd attempt again, or just disappear all together. I dislike being in this in-between state.

Me too. At least suicidality drives you to take action, do something about your life. The in-between state feels like being stuffed with painkiller meds and ignoring that you are a wreck. Or so it does for me.

 

[Dinozauria]

To me my suicide us the only rational goal so why would I want suicidal thoughts to go away. I want these to increase and intensify so I'm thinking it all the time at the utmost desire and intensity

I feel the same way

 

[watashiwastar]

Yes. My suicidality feels like a mental impairment that I can't fix even after all this time. I'm supposed to be in a good place, I'm supposed to have left all the trauma behind, and yet I still feel this way. I do admit I'd lose a rather big part of my identity though.

 

[Fresh Soju]

Me too. At least suicidality drives you to take action, do something about your life. The in-between state feels like being stuffed with painkiller meds and ignoring that you are a wreck. Or so it does for me.

Yep, that's a good way of putting it! Like you know you're not well, but you also just feel too numb to like really do anything. Too "meh" to attempt, too "meh" to be truly happy and at peace with life, so just coast along hoping something will happen eventually, or even if you attempt it still just kinda feels "meh" in the back of your mind.

 

[itsgone2]

I voted yes but as others point out it would have to come with my circumstances being different. Which isn't happening. But it's what I wish. I'd rather enjoy life.

 

[BillyBob]

Voted no, mainly because it is a driving force to CTB instead of being content with a shit life and nothing of value.
Sure if would be better without them, but in the end it would be like being a drone then anything else sadly

 

[effemel]

Suicide has plagued my every thought for years to the point where I don't recall past memories except for the fact that I've wanted to ctb for so long, without suicidal thoughts I feel like I've lost a sense of my identity.