Do you wish you died when you were young?

[Final Escape]

Yes it really would have been for the best :(

Yes it really would have been for the best :(

Hey how have u been? :) long time no see

 

[Emily123]

i wish i had an opportunity to change my life when i was a kid

 

[melp]

I've always wanted to finish this. I often lived in the hope that I would die quickly. Yes

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Yes I definitely do either at age 14 but definitely at 22.. nothing good happened after age 22.

 

[Black Rose Bunny]

Plus, if I had done it as a child I would have had a chance to be forgiven. My church wouldn't have gossiped about my soul going to hell, my family would have been heartbroken but not angry at me, my friends (the few I had) would have moved on more easily and I'd have been long forgotten by now.

But now I'd just be a selfish coward...

I feel that so hard. I feel really guilty for not killing my self too though, since I feel like I'm a burden on everyone but the few people who sometimes say anything to me just do it because they know I'm crazy depressed. I think everyone is just patiently waiting for me to do it, and I feel like I'm taking advantage of them by staying alive. Idk why I get so scared though when I try...

i wish i had an opportunity to change my life when i was a kid

I feel that too, I also feel like even knowing what I know now things likely would have been the same because of my family and my mental health issues.

 

[bravotess]

Not me. Teenage years were hard but I really enjoyed the last 20 years. Got to do and see amazing things. Unfortunately that's all over now.

 

[XYZ]

I've lived a senseless life devoid of meaning. Still doing it. Sure, it would have been better if I hadn't lived this long. Better for the environment if nothing else. Just think of all the resources I use every day coz I'm too coward to ctb. I sometime stand in the bathroom in the mornings looking at my toothbrush going over in my mind what a waste it is that I'll squeeze that red Colgate tube and then turn on the tap.

 

[MeriDeath]

I wish i had died when i was still an infant or a toddler so I wouldnt even feel the pain, my parents would have another one instead of me eventually. But yes, i think this would have been the best for me

 

[woxihuanni]

You are a very kind person to think of your effect on others. I don't give a fuck. However, it'd have been a lot more dignified if I'd killed myself very long ago. Or even yesterday. I want to stay and enjoy little things like putting my hands in tart dough, but everybody is cringing on my behalf when I manage to be happy as less than a slave. Slaves are not forced to die, only forced to provide services with no reward and no freedom, no dignity. I aspire to be a slave, it is beyond hope for me.

 

[nurplexkid]

I regret not taking my life at 16. The last 18 years have been pure hell and the first 16 weren't a picnic either. I hung on due to the sunken costs fallacy. I thought i deserved a little bit of happiness given the pain i endured but it evaded me.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

I had an opportune chance to CTB two years ago. I inherited 30k and was flat out handed another 30k and I blew it because I had fooled myself into believing that I could do something with it. I cannot. It would have been the time to die my way.

 

[andy69]

Knowing what you know now, do you wish you killed yourself when you were younger?

Personally I didn't enjoy my life and I honestly don't think I would miss any of it, I've always been depressed and alone. I feel like living this far was just because of false hope.. And I feel like things would be easier if I died when I was younger, and less people would have met me which would mean their lives would have been better, even if only slightly. I feel like it would also be less sad and easier on my family since they wouldn't think I suffered for long and wouldn't have known me for as long and I wouldn't have been as much of a burden. But I wanted to hear what you guys think

Yes. If I died young, I would have avoided all the pain. I made a bunch of sacrfices for others and lost everything. I can't remember anything positive in my life.

 

[InevitablePattern91]

That's why I am going to ctb as soon as possible. For not having to ask myself this when not young anymore.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I made my first suicide attempt at 14, I'm now 30, how I wish I had succeeded.

 

[Soul]

I could have happily died as an embryo or an infant.

 

[Meditation guide]

The last 20 years have been a living non stop nightmare, so yes.

 

[Homecoming]

I could have happily died as an embryo or an infant.

Yea me too, regret being born to this cruel existence!

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I'm still young but I wish I had died 6 years ago so I could have avoided this hell. Nothing changes.

 

[Starseedchip]

Absolutely. I almost drowned when I was 4 and my first suicide attempt was at 15. It's my motivation to die sooner rather than later. What's the point of continuing on miserably when I could just end it now. I don't want to look back in another five years and still think "I should have done it then". Ultimately there is no difference in dying at 4, 25, or 40. Death is the end and once it happens it's as if you never existed at all so why would I prolong it.

 

[nerve]

I'm glad I've stuck around long enough to reach some level of peace about dying. Like I'd have been spared a lot of suffering if I'd ctb'd five or ten years ago and wouldn't have missed out on that much, but it would have been a spiritually agonizing death.

All the bad things are just memories now (the good things too) but this sense of "it's okay if you leave" feels really precious and important.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

yes. If I died at 13, I wouldnt have been sexually abused at college. if I died at 13, I woulbt be getting abused by my brother. If I died at 13, I wouldnt have been mentally suffering all the abuses I have been. it would have been over and I would have been at peace. I kept living for no reason, yet I am too afraid ot die. what the fuck

 

[AllReturnsToNothing]

I was dropped down concrete stairs when I was a baby. It was a long ass fall. I kicked my sister in the gut and she let go of me on accident. If she had dropped me in just the right way it probably would have killed me. And then I wouldn't have to endure all the pain. Instead I fell on my jaw and it fucked up my teeth leaving my mom to waste so much goddamn money on orthodontic work to fix teeth that I don't even have the energy to properly take care of anymore. It all would've been better if I had died that day.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I wish I died 8 years ago when I realized how deeply inadequate I really am.

 

[Deafsn0w]

I wish I died at 17 because one of the attempts nearly killed me.

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

I wish I never existed

Me too

 

[Nemy]

All the time. I had tried to ctb as a teen and I wish I could go back to tell my past self that it doesn't get better even through adulthood.

I don't know why I kept thinking that I would change and become a better person. When all I've been doing is stalling.

 

[Freeme3820]

There's been more than one situation were I could of died and it frustrates me that I still aliv tbh x

 

[favourite]

Wish I had killed myself 3 years ago, 'cause nothing really changed in my life for better.

 

[Deformationalplagio]

I wished i just looked normal

 

[alexit]

Knowing what you know now, do you wish you killed yourself when you were younger?

Personally I didn't enjoy my life and I honestly don't think I would miss any of it, I've always been depressed and alone. I feel like living this far was just because of false hope.. And I feel like things would be easier if I died when I was younger, and less people would have met me which would mean their lives would have been better, even if only slightly. I feel like it would also be less sad and easier on my family since they wouldn't think I suffered for long and wouldn't have known me for as long and I wouldn't have been as much of a burden. But I wanted to hear what you guys think

Yes, absolutely. I was about to attempt for the first time when I was 9 and regret not having done it. I've since attempted many times, but nothing like I was prepared to do that day. I would have been successful.