Do you wish you catched the bus sooner?

[brokeandbroken]

I wish I CTB sooner. 12 years ago before all hell broke loose. I wouldn't have suffered so much and wouldn't have worked so fking much in vain.

Tbh, I would've never thought life could be so unfair and insanely cruel.

I wish while still in Poland and alone I decided to CTB. I don't know why I hung on, it would've been easy... I wish I had found SS while there... I think it would've been better to die with some hope and some belief in the good of humanity. Then to realize humanity isn't good. It's a disturbing thing to learn/realize....

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

Yes i wish i CTB when i was close friend with the girl i love, so she remember me good and maybe even cry for me..

 

[Failure21]

I wish a literal bus caught me when I was a kid. It would have been better off for me and everyone else

 

[kindalone]

When I was 18, I planned it out, albeit very poorly and unsuccessfully. I chickened out and told my mother. I count it as a first attempt, but it might not have been one. I'm not sure. Maybe it wasn't a real attempt. Regardless, I wished it would have been successful. My life took a turn for the worse and nothing really improved. Weirdly enough, my death would be even more devastating for my loved ones if I did it now. Back then, everyone was kinda distant and stressed and my family had some serious problems. Nowadays, I have built some strong bonds with my family and it seems like they see me as a good man, although I'm not. My sister outright tells me she can't live without me. Back then, I barely had a relationship with her. I lost most of my friends now, but they weren't going to fall into depression because of my death if I did it early. So yeah, now is one of the worst times ctb, but I desire it more than ever.

 

[silent star]

Yes I really wish I did, now I'm in hell

 

[that_guy2611]

I do. I should have done it back in 2018. I've gained nothing from waiting and neither did those around me.

 

[venin]

I wish while still in Poland and alone I decided to CTB. I don't know why I hung on, it would've been easy... I wish I had found SS while there... I think it would've been better to die with some hope and some belief in the good of humanity. Then to realize humanity isn't good. It's a disturbing thing to learn/realize....

It sure is…

Yes I really wish I did, now I'm in hell

I feel like I'm in some kind of hellish purgatory 👁‍🌫

I do. I should have done it back in 2018. I've gained nothing from waiting and neither did those around me.

I feel you…

I wish I was never born in the first place. My entire belief system based calculating how many good things vs how many bad things happen get me into an eternal loop of hopelessness. Even if it gets a tiny bit better, I will still have more bad things happening to me than good ones.
Despite all this - I still think we live in the best times possible. It's never been better in the history of mankind. It was just less complicated. It's just not the world I want to live in. Please let me know about your thoughts.

This is my opinion

I just cannot stand life anymore, with its futility, ephemerality, lack of equity and senselessness. I hate mankind and their non-values, their shallowness, stupidity, their egocentricity and selfishness, their cruelty, irresponsability and lack of selfawareness. And also I hate theism and people who are so arrogant and in denial to say there is a god who loves us or the universe or the fact that it all happens for a reason.

P.S. I hate how I see good, quality, empathetic, intelligent people here whereas the world is full of idiots, soulless, brainless zombie fucking robots who behave way worse than a poor animal does. Fuuuuck this shit!!!

 

[Myexit]

I also wish I hadn't been born at all

You are not alone thinking such. Have spent my life wishing the same

 

[ZoloftSüchtig]

I guess yes now that I'm thinking about it. Had I killed myself sooner I wouldn't have caused so much trouble in my family. I wouldn't have cost my parents so much money and I wouldn't be known for the big mistake that I made.

 

[venin]

I guess yes now that I'm thinking about it. Had I killed myself sooner I wouldn't have caused so much trouble in my family. I wouldn't have cost my parents so much money and I wouldn't be known for the big mistake that I made.

Can I ask what happened?

 

[ZoloftSüchtig]

Can I ask what happened?

You can always asked but honestly I think I ain't ready to talk about it yet. Sorry ):

 

[venin]

You can always asked but honestly I think I ain't ready to talk about it yet. Sorry ):

Whenever it's ok for you. Hugs

 

[brokeandbroken]

It sure is…

There's things in life that it is nice to be blissfully unaware of or kept into the confines of history books and that is one.

 

[fearandloathing183]

The first time I seriously considered it I was 14. I was just getting out of an abusive "friendship" with a much older guy who was guilt tripping me and telling me what a horrible person I am and I was struggling to pass my classes and my parents were screaming at me about it every day. Not the worst things to go through but for a depressed 14 year old who already had anxiety attacks daily it felt like the end. Sometimes I regret not at least trying. Most of my actual enjoyment in life since then has come from daydreams and things I've made up anyway so im not sure how much I would have really missed. I honestly don't even remember how I got through that time in my life.