Help Going to catch the bus very soon

[finnthebird]

Can't explain to much, but basically Im going to catch the bus and don't entirely have a method anymore. From what I've read, apparently drowning is very painful, which was initially my plan because there's a river just down the road from where I live, but didn't know it would hurt that bad. I don't really know of many methods but I also have little money and can't get anything online because I have quite a few roommates and at least two always here, so ordering something is a no. If you have any 'suggestions' I would like to know, or any advice would be great

 

[Ben 111]

Why do you wanna do it

 

[finnthebird]

Why do you wanna do it

Many reasons to which most I can't explain in words
One being that I do not find joy in anything anymore, or at least very little and I found that I have stopped caring completely about pretty much anything. I don't have anything or anyone that relies on me thankfully, or anyone close. I have a pretty distant relationship with my parents and haven't seen any of my siblings or heard from them in many months, and I dont really have any friends save for the vague and brief conversations with roommates.
yesterday, if I ate at all. My emotion in general is sapped along with my energy and willpower to do much at all. I don't see a future anymore, one with me alive and doing something. I'm back into SH, and its one of the only things that I feel in life right now.
There's a lot more to it, this is just the shallow surface reasons and the rest I can't think to put into words at the moment, can't think in general, or remember much, like what I ate, if I ate that is.

Depression is my friend, spiraling is a hobbie, and I like knives :]

 

[meowpuppy]

i also suffer a lot from anhedonia and just general tiredness and stuff, and i might start self-harming for the first time soon.. relate a lot, hope you find peace.

 

[Sadbanana]

I don't think I'm able to die painless too. But maybe a little while of pain will be worthed the ethernity of freedom.

Anhedonia really suck. I was also very dissociated few months ago, so I can relate. It's like everything is completely empty.

 

[finnthebird]

I don't think I'm able to die painless too. But maybe a little while of pain will be worthed the ethernity of freedom.

Anhedonia really suck. I was also very dissociated few months ago, so I can relate. It's like everything is completely empty.

I agree, and maybe it won't be so bad after it all goes dark. What's a little more pain I guess
Also, funny enough I hadn't heard of Anhedonia until today

i also suffer a lot from anhedonia and just general tiredness and stuff, and i might start self-harming for the first time soon.. relate a lot, hope you find peace.

I wish you luck, and hope you also will find your peace

 

[finnthebird]

Well, going to attempt tomorrow morning at probably 4am, hopefully no one questions man walking into water fully clothed and not a swim suit who can barely swim anyway. Wish me luck :D