Discussion Do you want to get better?

[gorexzxz]

I don't get most people here that say no. Life is presumably terrible because of how you feel. So life isn't worth living even if you feel good again?
Getting better would mean everything to me. I'd spend my life savings just to be rid of this depression.

People have different situations. Depression comes in many forms and can be cause by many different things. For me personally getting better only means so much. I can only improve my situation but there will always be pain, humiliation and hatred.

 

[BrokeN__lil’__girl]

I used to. But I'm unable to. And it's gotten so much worse at this point…. So it's just about picking the least anxious method for me and the means to it…..

 

[arnxxx]

People have different situations. Depression comes in many forms and can be cause by many different things. For me personally getting better only means so much. I can only improve my situation but there will always be pain, humiliation and hatred.

You feel like you're beyond full recovery? How do you know for sure that's the case

 

[gorexzxz]

You feel like you're beyond full recovery? How do you know for sure that's the case

I've lost thing things I can't get back. Up until recently I was on the road to recovery. I then I received the truth from a doctor and realised I gonna have a lesser version of my life that I don't want (My life has been pretty bad up since childhood).

 

[Dark Moon]

No, me being autistic and other health condition is the root of my problems and they're incurable and it's not like I can go back in time to my youth either to change and fix things.

I also don't pass or fit into society and my depression is still there.

 

[thepiecessatup]

I don't want to get better because I found comfort in my suicidal thoughts
My suicidal thoughts don't leave me like the people in my life do

I completely agree. I only get solace from my suicidal thoughts. I get through the night (and day now I'm stuck in hospital) just praying that I have the courage to ctb. But even just the thoughts are so comforting. I guess we are the odd ones out in the world on here but thank goodness for this website. It's the least alone I've felt in a long time having people who understand around to talk to.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

If getting "better" means to die to avoid pointless and harsh decades of suffering for no purpose whatsoever, then yes. However, if getting "better" means to adapt to life and to be a cog in the system until I reach old age, then no.

 

[mainlanders_son]

Yeah, but AFAICT it's impossible at this point, without fucking up my brain even further.

 

[cocoseal]

I don't get most people here that say no. Life is presumably terrible because of how you feel. So life isn't worth living even if you feel good again?
Getting better would mean everything to me. I'd spend my life savings just to be rid of this depression.

Well to help you understand better as someone who does not want to get better, I feel so much comfort to being this way, the way I am yes I have no motivation to do shit and its very stressful but i don't want it to go away. I guess I feel I do not deserve to feel better ever. I feel like this is my destiny, my destiny is to suffer and keep feeling this emptyness I feel which is corny but its how I feel.

 

[sserafim]

If getting "better" means to die to avoid pointless and harsh decades of suffering for no purpose whatsoever, then yes. However, if getting "better" means to adapt to life and to be a cog in the system until I reach old age, then no.

Same

 

[Saturn_]

It just isn't in the cards for me. I am too mentally unstable and suicidal of a person to love. I can't be in a relationship or a close friendship because of how I am. Might as well face reality instead of continue to embrace delusion

 

[Eudaimonic]

Suicidality is more rational than non-suicidality; hence there is nothing to "get better" from.

Even if things become better it won't matter bc you won't be around to feel regret at missing them.

I agree with the essence of this, though I would say that "getting better" to me means treating any issues that are causing the suicidality, so in that sense, you are getting better. However, if your problem is simply "life," then yes, I suppose you are resolving it directly by CTBing.

My only reason for deliberating about recovery, apart from being unable to attempt atm, is not wanting to hurt those around me.
Though, I'm frankly not sure that recovery is possible in my case, so there's a risk that it will all be for naught in the end.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

I agree with the essence of this, though I would say that "getting better" to me means treating any issues that are causing the suicidality, so in that sense, you are getting better. However, if your problem is simply "life," then yes, I suppose you are resolving it directly by CTBing.

My only reason for deliberating about recovery, apart from being unable to attempt atm, is not wanting to hurt those around me.

Rationally, life is inclusive of all the problems we experience here - of suicidality, recovery, etc.

 

[terra.nuvo]

I do. I'm actively trying everyday to get better and hope that my efforts pay off someday. But who knows really. There is a possibility that I'll be like this forever but I still hold out hope for a better future.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Rationally, life is inclusive of all the problems we experience here - of suicidality, recovery, etc.

Yes, but most people also do not see life solely as a problem, unlike you and me.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

Yes, but most people also do not see life solely as a problem, unlike you and me.

They may not see it because it's a bit of an abstract concept to grasp, not because you and I are incorrect. This is why most people aren't interested in philosophy either. It's a subject that requires tough-mindedness and objectivity.

 

[Eudaimonic]

They may not see it because it's a bit of an abstract concept to grasp, not because you and I are incorrect. This is why most people aren't interested in philosophy either. It's a subject that requires tough-mindedness and objectivity.

I think it's simply due to optimism bias.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

I think it's simply due to optimism bias.

I don't think bias is the cause of faulty logic. Logically, ending life ends all problems of existence. You could know that and continue to live, however, as I'm doing, which is irrational, but that's another matter.

 

[Eudaimonic]

I don't think bias is the cause of faulty logic. Logically, ending life ends all problems of existence. You could know that and continue to live, however, as I'm doing, which is irrational, but that's another matter.

No, because the source of that logic is an enduring optimistic belief about the value of life.
So, their logic is sound, assuming the truth of that axiom.

 

[DyingToDie123]

I want my circumstances to get better. They won't though. So as long as that's the case I don't want to get better. It's probably petty of me, just being miserable to prove a point and not let people get away with hurting me, but that's how I feel.

 

[notevenhere]

I don't want to get better, either. I'm tired of disappointing the people in mh life.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

No, because the source of that logic is an enduring optimistic belief about the value of life.
So, their logic is sound, assuming the truth of that axiom.

Believing that life has value is a logically different "belief" or understanding that all of life's problems are contained or subsumed within life itself. I don't see how that's difficult to understand. You can believe something is nothing but suffering and still believe it has value. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Believing that life has value is a logically different "belief" or understanding that all of life's problems are contained or subsumed within life itself. I don't see how that's difficult to understand. You can believe something is nothing but suffering and still believe it has value. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

I'm just saying that their conclusion is not illogical if one assumes the truth of that axiom (and a few others).
If most people believed life was pure suffering, they would not be so opposed to suicide.
Sure, some would still invoke meaning as a reason to value life in and of itself.

I think we had a misunderstanding.
I did not claim that people are logical if they don't understand that, tautologically, life's problems are contained within life itself.
I am saying that if they believe that life has inherent (positive) value, then it follows that, in some cases, suicide would not necessarily be rational from their perspective. Furthermore, I am claiming that the belief driving this conclusion likely stems from optimism bias.
However, in the case of the axiological asymmetry, it does not entirely stem from that.

 

[Abyssal]

Yes.

I often don't, though.

 

[unabletocope]

Nah feel like dying

 

[thealteredmind]

yeah I always wanted to get better, even now. but better means BETTER. not 1% better. not 5% better. I need like... 30% better. something noticeable.
no more benzo symptoms. no more pssd. back to "normal". AND THEN... no more insomnia. but that still won't be enough... I need relief from depression.

 

[Amnesiac_88]

No, i feel like at this point there is no way for me to get better it's too late for that, and i don't even want to try to get better i'm too tired of trying and failing at everything i do. I'm worthless and it will always be that way

 

[3/4Dead]

It's easy to just get used to losing. to feeling awful all the time and just stop desiring more.

I don't want anything but for everything to be over. Just wanna be done.

 

[anxiousmess0471]

I sometimes want to get better. And other times I like it when I'm miserable. For some reason there is a sense of comfort when you've lost all hope in yourself. There's no more expectations you have to uphold. But there are moments where I'll get that glimmer of hope that life will be better which is what keeps me moving on.

 

[broth0100]

I wanna get worse