Do you want kids?

[Dr Iron Arc]

I went from sort of wanting them to not wanting them at all after doing some recent soul-searching. I think in the unlikely event I even get far enough to have to seriously consider this question again I would leave it all up to my partner. I have enough reasons for wanting and slightly more for not wanting them that I think I'd be comfortable with either option.

Edit: linking the thread where I sort of described my thought process in detail. :P

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/pros-and-cons-for-me-to-not-have-children.50495/

 

[_Kaira_]

Yes and no.

Yes because it was always my dream of having a wonderful family, and being a good mother raising amazing kids.

But also no, because I realize it would be impossible for me. Even if I could have them, they could potentially be sickly or pass bad genes to their own kids. Then the hypocrisy of realizing how garbage this society is, and how I never wanted to be born myself. It hardly would seem fair to roll the dice on new lives...

I suppose it just highly depends. If I ever am in a position where kids could be an option, I'd probably try to adopt. They're already on this world, might as well try to give them a loving home and chance at living somewhat of a normal life.

 

[Antigonish]

Gotta pass my dysfunction on somehow

 

[W’ren]

I cast my vote as "yes" because i SO wanted children.
I was never able to have any.
And due to an unrelated medical issue i now must have a surgery next month that includes a hysterectomy.
So even though i was 95% sure i was barren, there was always hope of a miracle.
Now i will be 100% hopeless.
This issue has always been part of what drives my ctb desire

 

[StringPuppet]

I don't think someone like me should even be allowed to have kids

 

[Disappointered]

I have flirted with the idea at certain moments in my life but I think, realistically, it is wiser and more ethical for me not to do so. I can't rationally believe that they wouldn't be seriously disadvantaged in the game of life so it would be wrong.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I cast my vote as "yes" because i SO wanted children.
I was never able to have any.
And due to an unrelated medical issue i now must have a surgery next month that includes a hysterectomy.
So even though i was 95% sure i was barren, there was always hope of a miracle.
Now i will be 100% hopeless.
This issue has always been part of what drives my ctb desire

i know the child wouldnt be "yours" but what about adoption. i mean they are already here and in need of a good home

 

[W’ren]

i know the child wouldnt be "yours" but what about adoption. i mean they are already here and in need of a good home

I would love that and definitely considered it but discovered that because of my financial status i would never be considered for such a blessing :(
Not to mention they might not consider me due to prior ctb attempts etc- :/

 

[Life_and_Death]

I would love that and definitely considered it but discovered that because of my financial status i would never be considered for such a blessing :(
Not to mention they might not consider me due to prior ctb attempts etc- :/

yeah, mental illnesses can take away a lot more then whats just on the inside. i know that feeling what about a surrogate or something like that? would it be between the people involved then so the government doesnt have much of a say?

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

No, because all parents are evil incarnate. (joking, but I still don't want kids).

 

[W’ren]

yeah, mental illnesses can take away a lot more then whats just on the inside. i know that feeling what about a surrogate or something like that? would it be between the people involved then so the government doesnt have much of a say?

I wish i'd known someone who would do that for me. My current bf had a vasectomy long before we met.... my ex husband and i looked through in-vitro 15 years ago but it cost too much- and we couldn't think of anyone to do anything like you suggest at the time either.

And at this point in things i've pretty much decided to ctb in early 2021 so getting the ball rolling in the direction of finding someone would just be starting something i couldn't finish.

And undoubtably that person/those people would want payment...no matter what it was i could not pay it.

Being low income is very limiting.

I mean, i make it work- but for things that are "extra" it's limiting.

 

[allym101]

I wish i'd known someone who would do that for me. My current bf had a vasectomy long before we met.... my ex husband and i looked through in-vitro 15 years ago but it cost too much- and we couldn't think of anyone to do anything like you suggest at the time either.

And at this point in things i've pretty much decided to ctb in early 2021 so getting the ball rolling in the direction of finding someone would just be starting something i couldn't finish.

And undoubtably that person/those people would want payment...no matter what it was i could not pay it.

Being low income is very limiting.

I mean, i make it work- but for things that are "extra" it's limiting.

Aw I'm so sorry love... you don't deserve that. If you ever manage to get children one day (by any means), I think you'd be an amazing parent <3

 

[puppy9]

I want be a parent if I'm rich; so if they don't wanna work they can help people by spending my wealth. I wanna be a foster parent.

I just want to be a good Dad, that my sociopath dad can't be.

 

[Viro_Major]

For the first time this year, I wish I did. Guess I sort of do, let's pretend I treat at least one member similarly as I may have done with an upbringing. But I'd prefer just say, with utmost respect (since the tie is confusing). I could add it means the world.

 

[sadworld]

No, I never want any kids. I don't wanna be responsible for bringing anyone else in this shit hole. My parents were speaking about how they should have adopted me so that they hadn't tell with my mental health issues and suicide attempts. Imagine me as a parent lmao.

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

No.This world is hell so i don't want them to suffer,i'm also poor,ugly and ill .I would never find anyone to have kids with even if i wanted kids.
Wish my parents didn't have me.

 

[Sleepysam25]

I love kids and I'd probably be the best dad ever, if I go on my nieces and nephews opinions that I am an absolute legend XD. Unfortunately I have to deal with chronic depression mixed with severe anxiety and agoraphobia. I'd rather ctb than to burden any possible wife and kids with my 10 000 000 problems lol but hey, better luck next life I hope.

 

[Heart Shards]

No. I can't even keep my bedroom clean, much less care for a child.

 

[kaz]

no

 

[peacechoice]

Hell to the fuck no I don't want kids. That would mean that I'd have to wait years before I died. So no, I do not want kids. Bringing more suffering into this world Is just pure selfish. Horrible. Unless your rich and can give your kids alll the resources they need, then no you should not have kids.

I responded. My PC fucked it up. Now I CBA. Fuck em all/

Having children:
The most irresponsible prerogative we have no choice but to cling to.
Lets all have mindless sex and spawn a world full of worthless fuckwits, what could go wrong?

I say this: we get exactly what we deserve.

I don't give a blind ignorant shit anymore.

Love this!
exactly what I wanted to say. You said it better. Why in the holy fuck would I give myself another reason to have to stay. Then I'd hate myself even more. Plus, the damage it'll do to your body. I'm already sickly. Having children would fuck me up even more.

 

[Green Destiny]

I don't wan't kids. One big reason is that i'd be a bad parent and if i'm going to live past 30, 40 or even 50 then I don't wan't to spend that time taking care of a child. I can barely take care of myself. I won't drag another unfortunate person into this world just for me to fail at raising them properly.

 

[in hell out soon]

I don't know.

I don't want to give birth to kids in a world like this. I don't want to pass on my faulty genetics and my disgusting body. I don't think I could be a good parent and I know that I wouldn't be able to take care of a kid in terms of the gross smelly stuff or the loud stressful stuff so I'm not a good fit. I gagged and became useless around a little bit of cat poop, no way in hell can I help a kid.

and yet.

I want to be close to someone. I want to be able to give birth (I'm AFAB but not a woman), I'd like to raise someone nice and kind and way better than I turned out. I'd love to get to meet my kids.

but I don't think it'll ever be possible for me.

especially since after all is said and done... there's a high chance I'm infertile anyway. My ovaries are completely riddled with cysts and apparently the worst case that the senior nurses that were doing it have seen so... i don't think I'm gonna be lucky enough even if the other conditions were perfect.

likelihood is even if I conceived something would go wrong. Whether that's with the pregnancy, birth (also negatively impacted by me being severely dyspraxic btw and I can't find any fucking resources on dyspraxia and labor ugh) or with the resultant genetics or gosh knows what else.

my partner (Ex-partner? Things are complicated right now due to my mental health...) also doesn't seem to have much interest in having kids. I don't know if he'll ever be ready. He's liked the idea when it's been said casually but...

i dunno. He already puts up with me. I'd never want to saddle him with more stuff I can't do. It's not fair on him. But for some reason he's stuck around. Can't see why. Legitimately cant see why. Other then the fact he's anxious and hates most other people.

as a result though it's highly likely I'll never have kids I'm voting maybe. I have a level of interest in having kids and maybe it might pan out? Or maybe not.

Also yes I've considered fostering and adoption but refer to the partners bit AND even without the poop there's a lot to be responsible for. I wouldn't know what to do. I'd try my best, yeah, but they're safer anywhere else.

Can't even look after myself right now - how would I take care of a kid?

 

[Mr2005]

No but girlfriend does. I wish she'd just adopt

 

[LooksAtMoonDog]

No, never had the slightest interest in being a parent.

 

[malti276]

No and I don't think I would be a good parent even if I did.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

god no. another responsibility that will keep me from ctb? no thanks.. its not that i hate kids i just don't have those maternal instincts. not towards humans anyway...

 

[enter.the.void]

Absolutely no - besides my issues, i find it cruel to bring children in such a merciless world full of coercion and pressure to adapt. Its so heartbreaking how children are treated in the schools, with all the mandatory mask wearing and social distancing rules, to break their will - thats just horrible

 

[Sensei]

I feel strong social pressure to get children, but to be perfectly honest, I don't want any. I wish I could give you some deep philosophical reasons, but the simple reason is that I just don't feel like it.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

In some ways I love the idea of being a family man. Big house, lots of activity and life around me, making memories. But I think that's also kind of an illusion. Parenthood can be rough, and miserable, and with my propensity for isolation and financial struggles it's kind of unrealistic. The other thing that always put me off is how fickle relationships are. I wouldn't want to have all the family business going on and then the relationship with my gf/wife falls apart.

I don't think I'd make a terrible dad though, oddly. I'm a nice, calm guy for the most part, with a high EQ. I just feel like it's not meant to be for me, ultimately. I'm 36 too, so I'd have to hustle a bit if I wanted to do it. I don't want to be 50 chasing after a toddler.

 

[Nymph]

Hell nah