Discussion Do you think you've enjoyed life?

[VIBRITANNIA]

i'd say i enjoyed my life for the most part. i mean, my basic needs have been taken care of, so i've been left to fuck around and consume ungodly amounts of entertainment, which, unsurprisingly, has brought me some joy and taken my mind off of the bad things.

 

[WOODESITY]

I wouldn't say I have, I had some and rare moments when I felt in peace and good, why I do not is because, most of the time I was just worrying non stop on daily basis which I can call it anxiety now, also I was being abused by my family for most of my life at home (main reason I'm not willing to keep living) life in my opinion isn't something to be enjoyed but to get through for as long as one is able and on the way one can even enjoy it but it still comes from some sort of deprivation and fixing problems.

 

[muffin222]

At certain points, yes. But, there's an undercurrent of pain and sorrow that never truly dissipates

 

[Meditation guide]

I can think of lots of enjoyment I've had in life. Any time I was on a beach.

 

[ForensicallyAware]

I've been aware that the world is a disgusting place from a very early age

 

[Nymph]

If this qould be your last day...
Do you think you have enjoyed life at its most?
Why yes? Why not?

Some times were good but mostly it was bad. Of course sometimes when I went out with a friend it was fun and I felt happy but it's just short moments compared to the misery I live with daily (mental health issues)

 

[wanttodie]

no never enjoyed my life

 

[ERASED]

No.
I really cant imagine me enjoying life just because how society is.
And no I don't see how I can feel happy in it because there seems to be no hope for mankind to change.

 

[RoyalSapphire]

I enjoyed of the good times with the people that I care. I'll make sure they know I love them so they don't have to worry.
There is a lot of regret too, I could have done so much better.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

No, not at all. Wasted opportunities, bad decisions, shitty friendships, awful childhood... I could go on and on.

 

[lex]

Nope. I always had to endure life but I was still hopeful. Then things happened that I had no control over, enduring became impossible and all hope is now lost.

 

[mathieu]

No, I spent most of my life being depressed. It was not enjoyable.

 

[H2H2]

I didnt enjoy life and it wasnt worth it but I dont regret being born. Many other had lives like mine and they made it , I didnt. Im grateful for the opportunity.

 

[Soul]

Hi @Anthagonos. How about you? Have you enjoyed life?

And as the good @coeur.brisé has asked: Are you here doing research? Your questions seem to indicate that. It would be fair if you told us what you're researching for.

Knock knock, @Anthagonos - I'm bumping this question up for you because I really want to see your answer.
Are you asking these questions for research? Are you looking for someone to do damage to? What's your story?

 

[Jeff_The_Cursed]

Kinda, sorta, some of the time.

Looking back on my life, there were factors (genetic) that were always against me, but I do hope that Karma comes back on the heartless, unforgiving people of the world.

 

[mpnf]

No. I haven't lived through the different common phases a child, teen , young adult should go through and that has traumatised me so much , that I see no point of return.
I would love to live without all my health problems and without my pshysical imperfections and then I'd feel with enough confidence to go on. But as that is just a mere ilussion and have to stick to reality , then this is it.

 

[Anthagonos]

Hi @Anthagonos. How about you? Have you enjoyed life?

And as the good @coeur.brisé has asked: Are you here doing research? Your questions seem to indicate that. It would be fair if you told us what you're researching for.

Knock knock, @Anthagonos - I'm bumping this question up for you because I really want to see your answer.
Are you asking these questions for research? Are you looking for someone to do damage to? What's your story?

Hi, I wasn't online sorry.
I am performing the question to see if others have experienced the same.

No, I haven't enjoyed life. I don't remember the last time I enjoyed it. I have had problems socializing because it has been always difficult to me to me to keep a conversation and my social skills have been bad.

For example I have never had a girlfriend and I'm a veery attractive man. I never finished my studies and I was a really good student, etc...

I spent too much time in front of the computer and I avoided lot of social contact. I was grew in toxic familiar relationship and has no brother or sister.

 

[Soul]

Thanks for replying, @Anthagonos, and sorry you have these problems. So are you here to research suicidal people, or pro-choice people? Or do you intend to commit suicide?

How did you find this forum?

 

[Anthagonos]

I do. I did a lot of what I wanted to do. I leave in peace.

My case is exactly the oposite of yours.

Thanks for replying, @Anthagonos, and sorry you have these problems. So are you here to research suicidal people, or pro-choice people? Or do you intend to commit suicide?

How did you find this forum?

Thanks mate.
I think my personality was altered after my parents divorced. Before the divorce I remember myself as a social and kind guy.
I remember me as happy and normal person. After the divorce I remember me as a different person.

For example all the family conections were lost because all the family thought my mom didn't do a good thing getting divorced of my dad. So the family of my mom and the family of my dad stopped talking to my mom.

In the other part my second dad was alcoholic and very conflictive too. Almost everyday they were fighting. He had a job that worked outside and he spent several time outside home. My mom was working too so I was alone almost always at home. I started using too much time the computer due to that.

That situation changed a lot my personality and I think for that reason I refused some girls that wanted to start a relationship with me. I also experienced some sexual issues with her. Sometimes I thought I had fall in love with my mum, a very attractive woman. She was model when she was young.

I think also that I am a very active sexual person but I wasted all my efforts in masturbation. Due to that I think it caused a huge frustation because I saw myself not capable of starting a relationship with a woman. I had some kind of fear to have sex I dont know why.

Lota of people asked me if I was gay because I had enough possibilities to have gf and I was an attractive guy. The problem I think it was I had lot of insecurities within me and I refused almost all the opportunities I had. That hurts me now a lot. For example I had the opportunity with 2 neighboughts and now both have stable relationship for years and one of the had 2 kids. That hurts a lot because I had the opportunity before they and I refused them. A full disaster.

Now Im trying to find a gf and karma is doing its work...

Are you doing research??? You seem to ask questions to which you don't offer your own answers.

...going back to my dark corner now...

My fee good moments were when I was a child. With family back in the 90s

 

[Lmd]

Mmmmeeehhh could be better

 

[draw a circle]

It was fun. I've had enough, but that was a good life. I'm here for a good time, not for a long time, and I think I got it.

 

[Lupgevif]

No. There were some days I felt like I enjoyed them, but looking at the bigger pictures, I didn't enjoy the week, the month, the year...

 

[TAW122]

I don't think I ever really 'enjoyed' life, maybe at fleeting moments during childhood (video games and a family friend), but aside from the fleeting moments, life in general, is full of shit. I think I partly managed to live so long (almost 30) partly because of copes and special moments that turn actively CTB ideation to passive CTB ideation. Overall life still sucks, and I'm just a time + circumstance (if bad enough) to go over and decide to CTB.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

No. I have barely lived at all. I've never loved or been loved. I've never achieved my potential. I've never even been on a proper holiday (vacation). There is literally nothing in my life.

 

[Kevin_theFrog]

It was all right, I guess

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

Definitely. Only few last years were that bad. Unfortunately, happiness is in the past forever. I still enjoy dreaming about good things from past . It makes my heart warm. Even when I know it would never happen again and my end is near. At least I was happy and had amazing experience in my life.

 

[RedDEE]

I feel like my life has been good at times, but the "good" parts of life have gotten old.

I've gotten drunk so many times in my life, it's not really fun anymore. I've smoked so much weed, it's lost it's luster. I've eaten so much chocolate, I don't even like the taste anymore. I don't look forward to eating - I've eaten all my favorite foods a billion times, and I just don't look forward to it or enjoy food like I did when I was younger. I've had so many orgasms, I don't even do it for pleasure anymore - I just do it for a quick 5 second dopamine release.

Everything's just gotten "old". Life is like watching a tv show on repeat, it's just the same shit over and over and over, and after a while, you get tired of seeing and hearing the same old fucking shit. It really just makes me sick to my stomach, how old everything feels. I've been stuck on the same cycle for 10 years, doing exactly the same things every single day, day to day, month to month, year to year. I do all the things that I enjoy the most out of life, I'm a "hedonist" - that is, I dedicate my life to divulging in pleasure. Pleasure just isn't pleasurable to me anymore.

 

[DigitalWitch]

It's been fun! I'm happy with my experiences, the friends i've made, and the things i've done, mostly indifferent to my mistakes and regrets but i've been wanting to die for a very long time and think i've definitely had enough of my fun

 

[Artyom]

Wouldn't choose to live it again, but honestly? Not that bad. Could have been worse. Highs were high, lows were low, just the typical roller coaster life

 

[ladolcemorte]

It depends on what you mean by "enjoyed life". I cannot say that I have enjoyed it overall, because, like many people on here, I would say that the bad times far outnumbered the good, and that I have experienced more grief than joy.

However, I have thoroughly enjoyed some picture perfect moments here and there: falling in love, walking with the perfect boy while holding hands under the stars, a few professional successes that I celebrated vigorously, losing 80 pounds, university graduation, flying right through the Northern lights in a tiny plane, singing in choirs, singing solos, acting in plays, giving speeches, and spending quality time with good friends. When these moments came, I was able to live in the present and fully take in the joy of the moment. I have enjoyed life in the sense that I was able to feel a sense of unencumbered joy when the circumstances called for it.

The problem now is that I have made such a mess of my life that the circumstances never line up in favour of joy. I have not felt even a scintilla of joy in the last year. If there was even a small chance of experiencing another joyous moment, I would fight to keep going. I do believe that leaning into the beautiful moments, scarce as they may be, is what makes it possible to tolerate the hard times, but I have reached a point where these moments no longer exist at all.