Discussion Do you think youre ugly?

[Soulless_Angel]

I don't think it, I know I am, inside and out!

 

[azucaramargo]

Both ugly and short.

Hogwash!

 

[Baskol1]

Im average height, im 182 cm tall.

 

[seekingoblivion]

Grew up hearing it from everyone including my mother and looking at recent pictures I see it's even worse. I'm the guy you hand your camera to when you want your picture taken, not the guy you want to take a picture with /of. I don't bother trying to feature anymore.

 

[Mr2005]

I did and now I can't look back at old photos. This was the catalyst for everything that followed

 

[Hexen]

Yes and lots of people have told me that through life and I think so too and I would rather not get into why I think so because I don't want to think about it now. I'll just say sometimes it can screw up my whole day so I just abandon everything and don't have will to even eat.

 

[irregularheartbeat]

I struggle with appearance heavy, I struggle from body dysmorphia and have had an ED for 12 years now. I was bullied for a lot of things growing up, through childhood and teen years and I'm sure that's contributed. I feel absolutely disgusting inside and out

 

[xXSarac3nSlay3rXx]

Yes, I definitely think I'm ugly. No one has ever called me ugly per se, but I know they think it. Looking back at pictures of myself, I know I wasn't ugly as a kid, but I am now. Back in fifth grade I was called fat, though I don't think I was even considered overweight medically speaking. I proceeded to lose 30+ pounds and my parents were worried that I was anorexic.

I've had very little success with women and I think people in general avoid me because of my ugliness. When I ask friends of mine, they say I'm average or "attractive," but I know it's bullshit to make me feel better. The only thing that I have going for me is that I'm tall, but that doesn't help when the rest of me is ugly. It's definitely one of many factors contributing to my ctb.

 

[Breezy]

I think I am. I've gained over 50 pounds in 2 years and I just hate myself. Don't like who I see in the mirror.

 

[stellabelle]

Yes. And especially without my hair done. I wish I had the time/patience for it right now.

 

[Skathon]

I am usually called "handsome"/"pretty" by women, therefore... No, I suppose? At least for those who prefer undead thin males. Fane from "Divinity: Original Sin" is rather popular, as I recall...

 

[Baskol1]

I am usually called "handsome"/"pretty" by women, therefore... No, I suppose? At least for those who prefer undead thin males. Fane from "Divinity: Original Sin" is rather popular, as I recall...

Then youre probably not that ugly.

 

[CFLoser]

Absolutely.
If I wasn't before, I am for sure now. I started balding even though I'm still a teenager...

Anytime I try and get romantically involved with someone I just feel guilty since I know I'm ugly.

 

[dhk96]

Ugly, short. Obese throughout middle school and the majority of high school. Went down to 113 in college but then kept stress binging and gained a lot of weight back. Was nicknamed "Monster" by a boy from church when I was a toddler. Got bullied by boys in middle school, probably because of both appearance and quiet personality. A few females friends also probably abandoned me in elementary/middle school because I was fat and they were childish brats that cared about being 'popular' (as if that even means something when you're 8-13...). I hate my face and body and everything there is about me. Things would be a bit more comfortable if I could wear a full body costume outside to hide everything.

All in all, I just know I'm not very attractive, even if my anxiety, depression, and bottomless abyss-deep self esteem are in the way.

 

[Empty Smile]

I'm so ugly, my reflection in the mirror even refuses to look at me.

 

[lotus11]

I think I am ugly,ii try to avoid photos and the mirror. But then again, I always see myself differently so I feel like I don't really know how I truly look...

 

[mynameispaige]

I do but I also don't. I have a big ugly nose and other than that I think I'm cute. But I feel like my nose ruins any cuteness I may have.

 

[deathwish]

In the front facing camera, kinda, and in some mirrors under bright lighting.. and when my skin is particularly red or broken out.. But then there are days and times when am convinced am hot as hell, surely thinking am even more attractive than anyone else is thinking that. Which is probably a good thing, surely is a rare thing. Having an aversion to makeup, though, on days when i feel ugly, we really be trying to hide- as an adolescent, those days were years, but i think was also kind of proud of it back then.. and wouldn't take any offense..

 

[pole]

definitely. never did before. but the uglyness and negativity inside of me has influenced how i see myself physically.

 

[Lady black]

I know I´m ugly

 

[I’vehadenough]

I was gorgeous, then a doctor prescribed a medicine and it made me instantly ugly by killing my facial tissue. Reason why I'm going to ctb

 

[sadgirl2002]

I was beautiful when I was 13-17 and I'm not even trying to be vain. The purity and kindness I had reflected on my face, I look at old photos and I miss her. I even looked nice without makeup or less makeup. After things happened, my face turned uglier. Even if I put makeup on, I can see the ugliness inside me.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I always felt conflicted about my looks. On the one hand, I know that many people think being considered conventionally attractive is a gift, but I sometimes feel that people don't really try to know me and people think I shouldn't have problems.
I gained weight because of my meds but back when I was skinnier, I used to attract a significant amount of unwanted attention without trying to. Strangers have come up to me in coffee shops to tell me I look like a model or ask me for my phone number. I might be reading an interesting book at Starbucks, but the first thing the stranger says isn't about the book I'm reading, but a superficial comment about my appearance. As someone who is extremely socially anxious, I find it quite off-putting and awkward because I know these people don't even know me. In a way, I'm relieved that I gained weight because I don't get approached by random strangers as frequently anymore.
Back when I used to be active on r/SuicideWatch on reddit, I made a couple of male acquaintances who added me on Facebook. When we first started on chatting on reddit (before they saw what I looked like), they were open-minded listeners when I talked about my problems. But when they added me on Facebook, I sometimes got comments like, "I find it hard to believe someone as attractive as you is sad." I also had someone try to talk me out of suicide because "a pretty girl like you shouldn't commit suicide."
I've also had some not-so-nice female coworkers who saw me as an especially easy target once they saw how terrible my social skills are.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

No, I'm actually really fucking pretty. Like someone else said, it leads to people being jealous which leads to anger which, depending on the person and how crazy they are, leads to lies told about you (I'm experiencing it now, she also hates me cause I'm lightskinned too). I'm not stupid either except in math. My associates is in Arabic and I'm picking it up pretty fast. I just have a laundry list of other issues that leads me to hating myself

 

[IsadoraBeauxdraps]

When I was a teen, I was attractive. Now sometimes I feel ugly, sometimes I don't. It depends on my mood...

 

[LastFlowers]

That's my reason for ending things.
Yes I've been bullied. I also have eyes.
One attempt at plastic surgery made me 10x worse. I chose the wrong thing to tackle at a young age. Was dumb but in pain and desperate.
I did not have the research and information I have behind me now. Some things done cannot be undone.
Some doors I mistakenly opened have closed other doors forever.
I also had a fluke accident happen with something else on my exterior and that destroyed the last thing I had going for me. I was already unattractive before those two things but they really hammered it home to a mind numbing degree. When you come to the conclusion that any and/or all of these things are permanent and only going to get worse with age, there's no hope to be had.

I am surrounded by attractive siblings, cousins, and whoever else they decide to take into the fold. To make things worse.
I don't ask for much, I have no desire for a relationship outside of family, I don't want kids or marriage or a giant house with a nice car.
I just want my own face and body to match my identity, which they do not. So my identity in its true form has been suffocated to death by the unfortunate skin I am forced to be in.

It affects every aspect of your life and thoughts when you are not comfortable in your skin and when you are forced to sit back and watch others who are. Then having those same people tell you that looks are not important, or any other ridiculous platitude they can think of.
It is the most tortuous thing imaginable. I wake up in cold sweats because the issue invades even my dreams. I get no rest. I have tried to claw my way out of this body in my sleep, finding bloody scratches and bruises the next day.

I used to think maybe there were one or two things that I wouldn't trade being ugly for.
But when so much time has passed that you've lost everything and everyone and even what could have been of yourself, to this issue..you would trade it in for almost any other form of Hell.

As of now the best I can ask for is having any pictures or video of me destroyed, a closed casket (preferably no funeral or announcement at all), and for everyone I've ever known to forget the thing that was never me.

 

[GemCami]

On a basic level....no. im not "ugly". When i have the strength to take care of myself, im like 6 out of 10. I think. But all the extra that comes with it, as well as parts of me i cant change, they make me utterly disgusted with myself.

 

[Hayalet]

I am. I'm pregnant. But theres no "glow" I got pimples, I'm unporportionably fat. My hair is dry and short. Although I take prenatals it eint grow. My eyebrows are wildly out of control!!! I have inverted nipples do my boobs growing isn't a nice advantage. My areola' are just large. Ugh, I'm sick thinking about it!

 

[LastFlowers]

No, I'm actually really fucking pretty. Like someone else said, it leads to people being jealous which leads to anger which, depending on the person and how crazy they are, leads to lies told about you (I'm experiencing it now, she also hates me cause I'm lightskinned too). I'm not stupid either except in math. My associates is in Arabic and I'm picking it up pretty fast. I just have a laundry list of other issues that leads me to hating myself

Jealousy is inevitable. For many things in life. It's human nature but we demonize it. The "haves" often berate the "have nots" for complaining about what they do not have. And invalidate their struggles which only makes them angrier.
But trust me when I say it's far worse for the individual who experiences it than the object of envy. I don't think anyone envies being envious...

This is just another reason why I isolate myself. Besides hiding to protect myself from cruelty, I have to keep my distance from those who would trigger feelings of jealousy. I cannot be around them. I cannot listen to them complain about things equivalent to a stubbed toe while I wretch in agony over my own reflection. If they need sympathy in that area, I'm not the one. It's hard enough having to filter myself with my own relatives, I could not take on anymore people.
The only thing that blunts it is when people actually admit how privileged they are in an area and make an effort not to flaunt it. I'm the type of person who kept a low profile on the things I actually worked hard for, so it's hard for me to understand those who boast about the things that were handed to them on silver platter.
..Maybe if you had a conversation with the person to understand the possible torment they experience for not being "really fucking pretty" like yourself, and let them know you have problems you're dealing with outside of the area that causes them to have such jealous feelings, they will leave you alone.
Perhaps they don't have the option to isolate themselves from you so they can't just walk away and end up having to face their envy by attacking the source of it. Are they a coworker or something?
Society likely attacks that person on a daily basis, and they too, attack themselves for things out of their control, you are probably not even the first person in line for their rage.
..The problem is that-even though I suggested it-starting any conversation to resolve such things is almost impossible. As both parties will be too stubborn. There is no solidarity between the envious and the envied. Simply the product of an unfair world. That's why I'll hopefully be out of here soon.

The only thing I've ever had anyone be envious of me for were academics and they were quite vile about it and focused their hatred towards my bad looks which I could not change. They too, spread lies about me and turned some of the few friends I did have against me. They did not want me to be happy or proud about anything, because I was ugly so I did not deserve to be such things in their eyes. My attractive best friend dropped me for more popular friends and would claim to no longer know or talk to me when I eventually felt the need to leave school to be homeschooled. But I'd take that a million times over, I would rather have everyone hate me than have myself hate my own flesh and bone. I can't get up and walk away from my body. I'm trapped. I cannot even say anything back to anyone because I would be throwing stones from a glass house. I would always know they could hurt me or feel superior simply by saying "you're ugly and there's nothing you can do about it." So in the real world, I can't even allow myself opinions or protest outside my own head. I wear my fragility as an inescapable human suit.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Jealousy is inevitable. For many things in life. It's human nature but we demonize it. The "haves" often berate the "have nots" for complaining about what they do not have. And invalidate their struggles which only makes them angrier.
But trust me when I say it's far worse for the individual who experiences it than the object of envy. I don't think anyone envies being envious...

This is just another reason why I isolate myself. Besides hiding to protect myself from cruelty, I have to keep my distance from those who would trigger feelings of jealousy. I cannot be around them. I cannot listen to them complain about things equivalent to a stubbed toe while I wretch in agony over my own reflection. If they need sympathy in that area, I'm not the one. It's hard enough having to filter myself with my own relatives, I could not take on anymore people.
The only thing that blunts it is when people actually admit how privileged they are in an area and make an effort not to flaunt it. I'm the type of person who kept a low profile on the things I actually worked hard for, so it's hard for me to understand those who boast about the things that were handed to them on silver platter.
..Maybe if you had a conversation with the person to understand the possible torment they experience for not being "really fucking pretty" like yourself, and let them know you have problems you're dealing with outside of the area that causes them to have such jealous feelings, they will leave you alone.
Perhaps they don't have the option to isolate themselves from you so they can't just walk away and end up having to face their envy by attacking the source of it. Are they a coworker or something?
Society likely attacks that person on a daily basis, and they too, attack themselves for things out of their control, you are probably not even the first person in line for their rage.
..The problem is that-even though I suggested it-starting any conversation to resolve such things is almost impossible. As both parties will be too stubborn. There is no solidarity between the envious and the envied. Simply the product of an unfair world. That's why I'll hopefully be out of here soon.

The only thing I've ever had anyone be envious of me for were academics and they were quite vile about it and focused their hatred towards my bad looks which I could not change. They too, spread lies about me and turned some of the few friends I did have against me. They did not want me to be happy or proud about anything, because I was ugly so I did not deserve to be such things in their eyes. My attractive best friend dropped me for more popular friends and would claim to no longer know or talk to me when I eventually felt the need to leave school to be homeschooled. But I'd take that a million times over, I would rather have everyone hate me than have myself hate my own flesh and bone. I can't get up and walk away from my body. I'm trapped. I cannot even say anything back to anyone because I would be throwing stones from a glass house. I would always know they could hurt me or feel superior simply by saying "you're ugly and there's nothing you can do about it." So in the real world, I can't even allow myself opinions or protest outside my own head. I wear my fragility as an inescapable human suit.

But part of my point is that you don't know the struggles of other people. Quite frankly, I don't give a shit about my looks. I also freely admit that my being lightskinned leads to significantly more privileges in my daily life. I don't face some of the struggles my darker skinned brothers and sisters face. I don't fear getting shot when I get pulled over. But my looks don't invalidate my mental struggles. I'm utterly incompetent and I despise everything about myself. There is no conversation to be had when someone (dark skinned black) hates you for being lightskinned. There is nothing I can do to change my looks or the color of my skin. I dont agree with your notion of the envious are always worse off then the product of the envious. Quite frankly, this woman knows nothing about me. This woman, she is a customer, hates me for no other reason then my skin color. She doesn't know that I struggle with a deep rooted hatred of myself. She doesn't know that I'm a fucking member of a suicide forum. She knows nothing about me other then the color of my skin. How am I to start a conversation with a regular folk who would undoubtedly still hate me even after I "explained" ? Quite frankly, I'm a realist. I fully admit that I'm conventionally attractive. I fully admit that based on my grades that I receive, I'm not stupid but these are experiences rooted in my daily life. But please remember, not a single one of these things invalidate the life I've led or any of the reasons I'm suicidal.
What you're trying to say is start a conversation with a woman who I've said nothing to but "where'd you get your nails done" and "have a good morning". When someone is racist, it's highly unlikely that one conversation is gonna change their mind. Plus, I don't feel comfortable telling a stranger let alone this one my story.