Do you think you will be here a year from now?

[Off_Switch]

Honest answers only.

 

[Dawnfang]

A year ago, I would have said no, and yet, here I am, so I feel like it'd be silly for me to confidently say the same now. Honestly, I'd place the odds at 50/50.

 

[AgathaChristieLover]

I really hope so

 

[DreamingDryad]

I'm not sure I'll be here for another month, honestly. 1 year anniversary of my closest attempt is coming up, wouldn't be the worst time to go...

 

[N-methylamphetamine]

yea I guess

 

[starboy2k]

hell no.
I can only be a dead inside loser for so long.

 

[_Gollum_]

Unfortunately yes. It's now been over 2 years since my last attempt. So statistically I think it's likely.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope not, all I want is to be free from this existence of terrible, torturous suffering that is just waiting to die anyway, to me existence will just always be the most terrible, cruel mistake that only ever tortures existing beings all for the sake of it and for me non-existence is just all that's positive.

All I hope for is true permanent peace from the suffering of existing where there is no limit as to how much one can be tortured, all that existence ever does is just cause harm and suffering, it's just so terrible how this existence was imposed at all. I'll always see it as an abomination to suffer in this existence, all I want is for all to be forgotten for me in non-existence, it's just so horrible how the torture of being burdened with this existence can continue for decades longer just for one to face the terrible extreme agony of old age, I always find it so deeply undesirable to exist.

 

[YourLocalEdgelord]

I really hope I won't, but SI has carried me far. Thanks for nothing, SI. I dread to think about how much longer I'll have to be here.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

I hope not, all I want is to be free from this existence of terrible, torturous suffering that is just waiting to die anyway, to me existence will just always be the most terrible, cruel mistake that only ever tortures existing beings all for the sake of it and for me non-existence is just all that's positive.

All I hope for is true permanent peace from the suffering of existing where there is no limit as to how much one can be tortured, all that existence ever does is just cause harm and suffering, it's just so terrible how this existence was imposed at all. I'll always see it as an abomination to suffer in this existence, all I want is for all to be forgotten for me in non-existence, it's just so horrible how the torture of being burdened with this existence can continue for decades longer just for one to face the terrible extreme agony of old age, I always find it so deeply undesirable to exist.

Do you really have zero power or influence over your own destiny in regard to whether you can get out safely?

Or are you just waiting for your first choice method to become available?

Not criticising. From reading your posts over the years, I'm honestly not sure which one it is. But I hope you can achieve your goal of getting out one day, because you've been stuck here suffering for a very long time.

 

[thelostautistic]

I hope not

 

[hdead]

Can't be sure but I surely hope I cash my ticket before next year comes around. I just hope it goes the way I envisioned it. I really hope we can go together, if things don't turn around for the better.

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I can't see the future, I can just hope it'll go well in the end, in theory I could die before a year passes, in theory I could also survive, no clue, I just hope it'll be sweet when it comes

 

[SweetSunflower]

No, i plan to ctb on late February next year, its getting super insufferable at this point, self harming, mental breakdowns, body dysphoria, insecurities, being super dumb, no drive or want for anything, anhedonia, nihilism, eating disorders, ive lost multiple kgs of weight, i think i am done, i just dont want to be anymore, i hate myself and the way i am

 

[Die.A.Ria]

Its annoying that i dont know because it really depends on the news i get in September from my hospital appointment they cancelled my surgery and in that appointment i would get to find out if im getting it or not
Im so nervous and its making me so upset because of the uncertainty

 

[rorosbones]

i don't want to be here in a year, but i honestly don't think i'll work up the courage to attempt any time soon.

 

[am045]

Honestly, I don't think I'm going to make it. I've tried enough, but I'm a shell of what I used to be years back, and it's only getting worse. If things were better, I'd keep going, but guess life didn't work out for me.

 

[lastappleonearth]

I mean yea probably, but I can't really picture myself in a year for some reason. I also can't like picture myself growing old u know, kinda seems absurd

 

[never mind me]

What do you mean with still here? Alive --> Yes, probably.
As active on this website as I am now --> hopefully not. I hope that in a year I'll be once again busy with my normal life, either travelling the world or having a job and hanging out with friends and doing sports

 

[lastappleonearth]

Honestly, I don't think I'm going to make it. I've tried enough, but I'm a shell of what I used to be years back, and it's only getting worse. If things were better, I'd keep going, but guess life didn't work out for me.

I'm sorry, I hope that despite everything u might still get to feel better

 

[am045]

I'm sorry, I hope that despite everything u might still get to feel better

I've tried a lot. Therapy, alternative medication, EMDR. I guess for some of us, once a negative life changing incident happens in your life, no matter how much you try, you cannot get over it. It's like time stops there, and you've just tried to survive ever since. I tried though. Hope you can resolve any issues you may have and get better.

 

[unluckysadness]

Unfortunately I think I'll still be here. I procrastinate everything, including CTB. And my SI is so strong.

 

[Spite]

Probably, yeah.

 

[hevnsfall]

Most probably working the same job.
On the same antidepressants.
Hopefully thinner.
Having my 2 cats.
Probably my grandma dead.
Hopefully my parents still healthy.
Hopefully with my stash of SN in the closet.

 

[Live_Life55]

D

Unfortunately I think I'll still be here. I procrastinate everything, including CTB. And my SI is so strong.

Did you give up hope with pegasos?

 

[3rdworldsadness]

No. This existence is extremely hard

 

[darksouls]

I hope not, I am in so much mental pain, my existence is only suffering

 

[unluckysadness]

D

Did you give up hope with pegasos?

No, I didn't give up. I must fill and send them several documents and wait for a call. I didn't ask Pegasos but Athanasios. To be honest, I'd like to have my family's approval, but it's quite impossible (and I understand). I guess we'll discuss about it with the woman of the organization. She was very nice and full of compassion on her last email so I'm confident about the call. I envy so much people who can get VAD and be with their family before they leave. I feel like a traitor with my secret but for the moment, my family is not ready to know my plans.

 

[Live_Life55]

No, I didn't give up. I must fill and send them several documents and wait for a call. I didn't ask Pegasos but Athanasios. To be honest, I'd like to have my family's approval, but it's quite impossible (and I understand). I guess we'll discuss about it with the woman of the organization. She was very nice and full of compassion on her last email so I'm confident about the call. I envy so much people who can get VAD and be with their family before they leave. I feel like a traitor with my secret but for the moment, my family is not ready to know my plans.

I totally understand. Same with me. There's zero chance they would approve. Hope you get the answer you want soon

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

Good question. I don't know. There is no way to know, because living is a random process. Life arose by chance, and it will end the same way. Whenever I observe an insect or think about a bacterium, I am certain that I am simply following the same programming. All these life forms follow that biological program. Chance gave the human species only the awareness of itself, of life, and of death. Yet nothing suggests I am anything more than one of those life forms programmed to keep going, even under the worst conditions. It is pathetic; it is absurd; it is nature. I view my existence as nothing more than the result of an evolutionary process in which I had the misfortune of becoming aware of life, death, and so on. What distinguishes me from those other forms of life is that I can decide whether or not to continue the process of living. Nothing more. Unfortunately, just as any insect fights for its life with no purpose other than the programming it follows, the human species does the same—but with greater intensity, driven by consciousness.