Discussion Do you think nondepressed people or people who've never had depression will ever understand people who have it?

[BlooBerryBanjo3000]

I know they mean well when they basically tell them to "just be happy" or "just be positive" and all that, but it hurts to be misunderstood.

 

[mossrabbit]

I think it comes down to empathy beyond one's own experiences is incredibly rare. Most folks just don't have the ability to relate or understand what they haven't perceived.

Depression especially hits hardest, but I think we see examples of this in so many life situations: the disabled, homeless, elderly, etc. Not to diminish your experiences. I'm so sorry your anguish was related to in that way. You deserve to be seen

 

[gottacheckout]

A lot of "normals" have no idea what depression really is, they just think we are sad. It really does hurt when our feelings are minimized. Sometimes it helps to have someone to talk to or even vent to. I'm willing to listen as are many people on this site.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

I would say no. I never had depressions and I cannot feel what depressive people are talking about. It is the same the other way round. Depressive people cannot imagine how someone cannot be depressive.

 

[eggsausagerice]

it hurts to be misunderstood.

makes me mad to know there's people out there without depression, even if i know they mean well and they would probably feel sorry for me. therapists and counselors make me upset since it's hard for me to think about them as people that have gone through any struggle. i've only seemed to have gone to bad ones since they just tell me the same stuff about being more positive so that people like me and so that i'm happier. it feels like my friends wait for me to stop venting. i think they just can't comprehend it because they can't relate to it.

 

[Apathy79]

Not really. But no person really understands another person I don't think. My grandfather likes to tell me the perils of living in his late 90s. Like I can sort of get a sense of it. But can I really understand it? It's similar here. But it's also not a huge deal - we still communicate with people we don't completely understand all the time. Can a man really understand a woman? Can young people really understand old people? Can always rich people really understand poor people? Can a person without cancer really understand someone with it? It's part of life not being able to completely understand the person next door.

 

[onmywaytothebusstop]

I don't think people will understand. People claim to be empathic and understanding but they're anything but that.

 

[ImNotReal]

I really don't think so. But I also struggle alot with feeling like "anyone" could feel the way I do. Outside of y'all I mean I guess.

 

[Alexandra_]

To understand what it's like, you have to be in that situation yourself.
They can only understand approximately, and these are completely different things.

 

[Hollowman]

Never

 

[whatishope]

I don't think people can empathise with someone who's been through something they themselves didn't experience. I also don't think people in general try to put in the effort. Over the past few months, I'm actually getting the feeling that people are actively avoiding any sort of empathy towards others.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Based on the things they say, and the ways they try to "help", I have to say No. I think it's partly ignorance, partly arrogance, partly just the fact that, usually, you don't really understand a situation until you're in it yourself.

 

[prettyclam]

Normal people wont ever understand depression. If they did, then they would've helped me ctb lol. And sometimes not even people with other mental illnesses understand.

 

[777cave]

No

 

[WishICouldGo]

No, I don't think that anyone who was never depressed can truly understand what depression feels like. But I don't necessarily think it's because they lack empathy; I just genuinely don't think they can comprehend that despair, emptiness and hopelessness that often come with depression and that cannot be "fixed" by simply going for a walk or thinking positively.

I may be outing myself here as a class A jerk, but once upon a time I used to be a non-depressed "normie" and I remember thinking that all depressed people were just lazy drama queens. Karma truly is a bitch

 

[FoxSauce]

Depends, all I heard from people is : "yeah I've felt sad too." Depression is more that being sad. Everything turns gray , no motivation beacuse what for, every emotion can sometimes go haywire.

I've fr I heard people say: "just be positve and be grateful for what you have beacuse people can have it worse than you."


You literally invalidating a person by that idk what makes people be like : "huh your right I should be more grateful even tho I find no joy on everything."

I won't lie I've met people haven't experienced depression but at least try not to judge. That's what people want just not to be judge is that simple.

Or people throw solutions at you which can make someone feel awful too.

 

[dyingslowly]

I have spoken to a women who was fully normal and she was very rude; I don't blame her since she was unable to understand my position from where I am coming from and all that.

 

[M_E_S]

In my experience even depressed people unaware of their depression have trouble understanding those of us who recognize and accept its presence in and effects on our lives.

Over many years of therapy, as I sought to understand my mind and gain greater self-awareness, the terminology for so many thought patterns and behaviors became clear to me. And as I came to recognize more about myself and my own mind, I also saw it or similar instances in others. Insecurity being one of the greatest unacknowledged drivers among so many of the "normal" people around us. And yet the damage wrought by the unrealized and unacknowledged psychoses of so many self-assured "normal" folk is far greater, in my opinion, than anything I've experienced as or with someone suffering from depression and/or anxiety.

 

[quins]

No. I resemble none.

 

[no-hope-no-future]

No, without the experience they lack the empathy to understand what a depressed person is going through. If you share your feelings about being depressed, it will be used against you to make you feel even worse.

 

[BlooBerryBanjo3000]

If you share your feelings about being depressed, it will be used against you to make you feel even worse.

Which is what I've learned the hard way, unfortunately.

 

[usernamesarehard]

No. I don't think it's possible. People who have never been depressed can't understand what depression truely is. It's always oversimplified to 'being sad.' But the thing is it's always more than that. And I think the hard part of understanding is that depression affects everyone differently so it's that much harder to understand. I've been on medication for a while now and I'm starting to feel better, but before it wasn't just the unending sadness/misery. It was the constant over sleeping, the lack of energy, the lack of motivation. I had all these things I wanted to ddo, but physically couldn't. I even had one of the 'I literally can't move even though I want to' episodes. I never really understood what people meant when they said they literally couldn't get out of bed. And then I experienced it and I finally understood.

Honestly though I think it's just not possible to understand when someone goes through something you never did. You can empathize, but like I've never been in the military or been in war. I can empathize with people who had to kill other people, watch many of their friends die and constantly wonder when they were going to be next, so much so that they have PTSD. But I can never really understand the struggles they face.

The only person who understood and who I could trust was my ex, who was also depressed and suicidal. He never made me feel bad for being suicidal. He was just there for me. When I told my family they all guilt tripped me into feeling bad for having these feelings with 'but think about how I would feel.'

 

[LetMeOut67]

Odd thing is that you hear people saying that they were depressed and didn't realise
I'll never understand that

 

[GeorgeEastman]

If they get old enough they will. Awful things happen to everyone. The happy people just haven't lived long enough yet to watch it all go to hell. It will. It always does. Of course many of them will lie and say it's OK, but you can tell they're lying.

Most people really are depressed and just make up a lot of bullshit to cover it up.