Help Do You Think About Dying All The Time?

[DeIetedUser4739]

The only time I'm not thinking about kms is when I sleep, my dreams are somehow protected from my conscious mind and I feel normal for about 5-10 minutes until I wake up, then comes the dreadful feeling that I'm still alive and wishing I was dead.

It then gets worse because my mind can only think of how pointless and stupid this world is and that things will never get better so I'm better off killing myself than suffering any longer.

I have no peaceful methods available to me right now and also fear any attempt failing, so I feel I'll be stuck like this until something else kills me which could mean another 50+ years on this planet.

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

i feel you

before i go to sleep, i wish i would not wake up
after i wake up, i wish i did not wake up
during the day, all i think about is death and dying

 

[iloverachel]

Pretty much every waking moment
When i brush my teeth,
When i exercise
When i play games
When I am at work
When I am going for a walk
When listening to music
When getting a haircut
I am always thinking about dying

 

[Willy Wonka]

same here, can relate. thinking to get amphetamine prescribed so I can ignore my mind and body, go to work, save up money and go to Peru. but I'll fuck that up too, I just know it

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

same here, can relate. thinking to get amphetamine prescribed so I can ignore my mind and body, go to work, save up money and go to Peru. but I'll fuck that up too, I just know it

that's so much work lol

having to work every day
save money
then go all the way there .. ?

 

[nicholas29]

i think about it every single waking moment of every day.

All I Ever Think About.... is Death.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I have a breathing disorder. I think about dying with each broken breath. Fortunately, I have SN in my wardrobe so the pain will not continue much longer.

 

[mrelief82]

i feel you

before i go to sleep, i wish i would not wake up
after i wake up, i wish i did not wake up
during the day, all i think about is death and dying

Same

 

[Willy Wonka]

that's so much work lol

having to work every day
save money
then go all the way there .. ?

That's where the amphetamine comes into play haha. It's just ... I know myself ... it's not gonna end well and I'll never reach Peru... Maybe the Psych Ward instead

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Not only that, but there's like a radar in the back of my head constantly scanning my environment for new suicide methods. "I wonder if I could use that to CTB?"

 

[UmbraDweller]

I kill myself several times a day in my daydream imaginations.

 

[Metalhead]

Constantly

 

[iloverachel]

I kill myself several times a day in my daydream imaginations.

Same. I have killed myself in my imagination at a few hundred times over the past few years, and that is not exaggerating.

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course I do, all that I wish for is to permanently not exist, I see no value in suffering in this cruel, meaningless and undesirable existence when the peace of non-existence solves everything. It's so horrible how humans force life here in the first place, I wish I never existed more than anything, I wish I stayed unaware of the abomination that is existence.
Wanting suicide is all that feels rational for me as it's the one escape from the futile and torturous burden of existing as a human where there's unlimited potential to suffer.

I have no interest in suffering for decades on end just to die in agony, dying slowly and painfully from old age. I only find comfort in death, I don't want to suffer in any way and I just wish to sleep eternally, only non-existence is ideal to me as it's the permanent absence of all harm and suffering.

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

Pretty much every waking moment
When i brush my teeth,
When i exercise
When i play games
When I am at work
When I am going for a walk
When listening to music
When getting a haircut
I am always thinking about dying

Except I do none of those things :(

 

[Red Moon]

I think about it a lot yeah, especially if I'm doing nothing and in my own thoughts, even when I distract myself when playing a video game I still think about it.

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

Except I do none of those things :(

I am unable to do any of those things

 

[goodoldnoname923]

Honestly it varies from week to week

 

[KillingPain267]

The only time I'm not thinking about kms is when I sleep, my dreams are somehow protected from my conscious mind and I feel normal for about 5-10 minutes until I wake up, then comes the dreadful feeling that I'm still alive and wishing I was dead.

It then gets worse because my mind can only think of how pointless and stupid this world is and that things will never get better so I'm better off killing myself than suffering any longer.

I have no peaceful methods available to me right now and also fear any attempt failing, so I feel I'll be stuck like this until something else kills me which could mean another 50+ years on this planet.

Exact description of how I feel.

 

[derpyderpins]

I don't think about dying, specifically, all the time. I just think "it's so much," "end it all," "I can't keep doing this," "it'll be like this forever;" that kind of stuff.

 

[tvo]

Lately Yes, it's virtually the only thing I think about. Falling asleep is the most beautiful experience, it's like my consciousness wonders off to these other places that are just so peaceful but then comes the dreadful experience of waking up, like... 'I am still alive? no, no, no, OMFG, NO!!

I just have to devise a way to go to sleep permanently. So yeah, I can relate.

 

[Eternal Sleep!]

Yes I think about dying 24/7 and also about methods to kms. I doubt between SN and partial hanging. Jumping from a tall building or jumping before a train scares the shit out of me, so that's a big no!

 

[prone2fury]

It's always on my mind to some degree, more potently when I'm upset. There's nothing I think about more when I'm awake.

 

[FrownyFace]

Multiple times a day and I sit there at night praying it not wake up…not even religious either. I just want to be gone. There's nothing that makes me happy for too long and it quickly goes back to just wanting to die.

 

[wsx-rt]

The only time I'm not thinking about kms is when I sleep, my dreams are somehow protected from my conscious mind and I feel normal for about 5-10 minutes until I wake up, then comes the dreadful feeling that I'm still alive and wishing I was dead.

It then gets worse because my mind can only think of how pointless and stupid this world is and that things will never get better so I'm better off killing myself than suffering any longer.

I have no peaceful methods available to me right now and also fear any attempt failing, so I feel I'll be stuck like this until something else kills me which could mean another 50+ years on this planet.

In our country you can buy everything you need for sn method, I have already received my serial number

 

[wristcutangel]

pretty much so. even when i'm happy, the only thing i can think is that it'd be better if i died right now so i could have died happy rather than being miserable again later.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes, I think about death 24/7. Death is my only desire in life

 

[vampire2002]

most of the time, yes. everything in life feels like such a chore. but there are brief moments of respite when i can do something i truly enjoy, which is difficult for me nowadays because of my declining mental health again.

 

[BlendedHeart]

Frequently, yes. The idea of non-existence makes me smile. That's one of the only few things that does.

Specially when I'm going to sleep. The thought of never waking up again soothes me.

 

[DarknessAndDespair]

Every moment, doesn't matter what I am doing. I keep thinking about methods, and thinking how to get the holy grail. I don't enjoy anything at all, I just want to die.