dreamsofdestruction

dreamsofdestruction

Everywhere I look is chaos
May 9, 2019
340
Not anymore, but used to.
 
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J

jake

Member
Aug 14, 2018
16
i care very much. the thought of how it will affect my children is what has held me back. i worry that they will never understand and, even more, i worry that they will come to see suicide as somehow acceptable or right because i did it. suicide is the right thing for me, but it never will be for any of my children. they are good and smart and important and valuable -- not at all like me. i have inflicted nothing but sadness and suffering on them and my suicide is only to end the pain that i cause them.
 
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Alchemist

Alchemist

Warlock
Apr 3, 2019
709
Not at all because I'll be dead. Also my family won't ve upset for what I did but for what others will think of it.
 
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Jon86

Jon86

Specialist
Apr 9, 2018
369
Yes, i've always had a good relationship with my family and seen them struggle with dignity through a whole hell of a lot of shit in their lives. They've always shown me respect and support so I can't help but have strong feelings of guilt. I genuinely believe without that guilt I would've been dead a decade ago. It's a burden though...one i'd rather not have considering i'm helplessly hopeless.
 
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Robbyna

Robbyna

Student
Mar 6, 2019
182
Yes, I struggle with how it will hurt my family, It's kind of torture imagining how upset they will be. But I can't live for them...
 
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inconsequential

inconsequential

Enlightened
Jun 1, 2019
1,011
I don't have a family left to care. This solves a few problems.
 
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StillWaiting

StillWaiting

Need cats to comfort me
Jul 28, 2018
550
I wanted to. Until my dad told me I should earn money for the family instead of caring about my mental health.
 
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Crystal Labeija

Crystal Labeija

Experienced
Jun 3, 2019
216
My family has been very supportive of me in these dark times. I absolutely care about them.
 
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kappa

kappa

Experienced
Apr 2, 2019
233
I don't care no. No relationship with any of them. I'd feel worse for coworkers or past coworkers to find out honestly.
 
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T

Thanatos

Outsider
Mar 23, 2018
360
I care a great deal even if they will never understand my position, but knowing that I'm really left with no other options at this point gives me some measure of solace
 
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Maiden

Maiden

Ars Moriendi
Jul 25, 2019
12
I definitely care. All of my pain and sorrow and hopelessness won't die with me, I will bequeath it to them and I can't bring myself to do that. They've never been anything but loving and supportive, but they wouldn't understand. When I was younger I was too self-absorbed to think about them but now that I'm older I seem to feel the weight of that guilt much more.

Some days I wish I could be angry enough at my parents for bringing me into this shit world to stop caring how they'd feel... but it hasn't happened yet.
 
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GinaIsReady

GinaIsReady

Exit Strategist
Mar 29, 2019
995
My family doesn't care. In the end, that is a good thing.
 
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Saga

Saga

In my memories a smiling me doesn't exist
Jul 20, 2019
175
I use to care about my family but don't really give a shit about them anymore. They are a majority of the reason I'm so fucked in the head. I'm more worried about my cats. It sounds terrible but it's the truth.
I can relate to this, so I dont care about them, they made me suffer and made me feel so useless my entire life that even in my future relationship it shows so I dont care and weirdly I want them to suffer so bad that they'd feel my pain, as for my cat they have him ;-; and the only thing i want is for him to be safe and healthy
 
TrinTrinTram

TrinTrinTram

Chaser Of Eternal Peace
Jul 27, 2019
6
Hell no. They treated me like shit for 33 years. No way i would feel bad for them.

Certain friends yes... but not my family.
 
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Beautifulletdown

Beautifulletdown

Brightburn
Jul 6, 2019
231
I can relate to this, so I dont care about them, they made me suffer and made me feel so useless my entire life that even in my future relationship it shows so I dont care and weirdly I want them to suffer so bad that they'd feel my pain, as for my cat they have him ;-; and the only thing i want is for him to be safe and healthy

It sounds like we are on the same path. As you, I want them to suffer as much as I have. I know about it showing up in future relationships so even that is screwed up. I just want it all to be over and done with. Just hope my cats will be taken care of the way they deserve.
 
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V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
665
They dont care about how I feel when I am alive why should I care about theirs after I die????!???!!!???
 
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ExitTheDay

ExitTheDay

We fight to live or live to die
May 26, 2019
336
My family has proven they dont care about me so no, I wouldn't care how they feel if I did CTB because they wouldn't dare to help me through possibly the worst moments in my life
 
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Partial-Elf

Partial-Elf

Eternal Oblivion
Dec 26, 2018
461
Yes, I struggle with how it will hurt my family, It's kind of torture imagining how upset they will be. But I can't live for them...
This is where I'm at. I keep stopping myself because I know that for my parents, it'll probably be the worst thing that ever happens to them in their lives. But I also know I can't live for decades more just to spare them that pain.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
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not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
My family are garbage. The only good ones are already dead.
 
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Menschenfeind

Menschenfeind

Jan 25, 2019
131
I've canceled the contact to every blood relative years ago. So: no family, no problem.
 
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h0wd1rtygurlsST4Yc1n

h0wd1rtygurlsST4Yc1n

Member
Jul 26, 2019
54
i don't really have family that i know. or talk to. or who isn't way worse off than me mentally and a waste of my time any way.
 
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lilyeehaw

lilyeehaw

yeehaw?
Jun 30, 2019
86
My mum, sister and a few friends are one of the only reason I'm still here. It sucks knowing how distraught there all going to be but I can't deal with this life anymore.
 
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Beautifulletdown

Beautifulletdown

Brightburn
Jul 6, 2019
231
My family has proven they dont care about me so no, I wouldn't care how they feel if I did CTB because they wouldn't dare to help me through possibly the worst moments in my life


I thought it was just me that has a family not showing up during the worst moments of my life. I use to believe in family very much but not anymore. I've been there for them and when I need help I've got no one.
 
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not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
I thought it was just me that has a family not showing up during the worst moments of my life. I use to believe in family very much but not anymore. I've been there for them and when I need help I've got no one.
My family was not only present for the worst moments of my life, they actually deliberately caused most of them. They are always around if I need help; to make any situation infinitely worse with their monstrous, manipulative "love".
 
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W

wanttodie.nz

Student
Jul 24, 2019
114
No. There is no one in my life that benefits from me being around.
 
Help_Me

Help_Me

Gene pool mistake
Oct 21, 2018
516
No, and I can explain why. Every time I think about my family, I just imagine being older when all my family members pass away and I am all alone, and it's like "finally I can ctb". There is no need to wait for their death of my own life is misery.
 
Dawn0071111

Dawn0071111

Hungry Ghost
Dec 9, 2018
570
Dont have a family. But my husband will be devastated. It sucks.
 
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T

throwaway_2620

Specialist
Nov 1, 2018
370
Yes, I sincerely care about how my family and friends would feel after I ctb (they would be devastated), which is why I'm thinking about leaving a suicide note. If I ultimately decide to leave a note, the main goal of the note would be to try and lessen the impact my ctb would have on my family and friends and provide closure.
 
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Rukia

Rukia

Enlightened
Jun 3, 2019
1,078
I care so much that I wont CTB...And I thought I dont even like my parents...But maybe for my little brother...As I said sent him once "the center cannot hold anymore" and he replied, was interested....told him not to worry...
 
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