Do you self-harm? And if so, why do you think you do that?

[Signal]

I have been doing it for a few months now, and i have growing more and more curious about why others people do it.

I started doing it when i was probably at the lowest point i had been in a long time, and i guess it kinda helped me at times, specially seeing the scars that formed on my arm and the fresh cuts helps me calm down in a way, i dont really know why. And so, i want to know what is youre experience like with SH.

 

[unluckysadness]

my cousin does it and she just said me she likes to see his blood flow. she suffers from depression too with suicidal thoughts and isolation (like me). my grandmother had mental problems so i think it's due to bad genes. but i've never self harm myself so i cannot answer properly

 

[failedmind]

i just relapsed today after almost a year clean (before that i was 6 years clean) and i did it because i felt so helpless. i felt the need to hurt myself so i got some blades from the store and now my arm is covered. its a coping thing for me. plus im mad at myself a lot for past decisions and its like taking my anger out on myself

 

[lost_one]

Man, I have a billion reasons.

1. I hate myself
2. I like the pain
3. I like to see the blood
( Its like righteous indignation, you like when you see someone you hate trip and fall. I love to see myself suffer cause I hate myself)
4. It's a simple substitution of pain to a more controlable, simple and manageable.
5. gives me something else to focus on ( the healing and taking care of the wounds)
6. It calms me down.

Go figure, I am insane.

 

[F@#$]

I don't self harm like cutting or burning or whatever. But I do intentionally drink like a motherfucker, smoke and do ridiculously large doses of drugs. Knowing/hoping it can/will kill me. No luck yet tho.

 

[Signal]

Man, I have a billion reasons.

1. I hate myself
2. I like the pain
3. I like to see the blood
( Its like righteous indignation, you like when you see someone you hate trip and fall. I love to see myself suffer cause I hate myself)
4. It's a simple substitution of pain to a more controlable, simple and manageable.
5. gives me something else to focus on ( the healing and taking care of the wounds)
6. It calms me down.

Go figure, I am insane.

Well, i cant say i dont relate to some of your points, specially the first one

 

[flightless bird]

i don't, but there's a part of me that feels like i might as well.

i've discovered that physical pain seems to lessen emotional pain. it feels like a doorway to being free from myself, even if only for a while.

 

[no-hope-no-future]

I have self harmed in the past, I have different scars on certain parts of my body with cutting my wrist being the most painful thing I have experienced from doing it. It was a relief to cut and just released tension every time I did it. The blood does make it a bit messy and keeping the scars hidden can make things a bit tricky but for a short period it helped.

 

[Cauliflour]

It's cool as hell! Self harm scars are like my tattoos except they keep fading and I wish they didn't do that. I love how it feels, how it looks, how it scars after a day or two looking all red. I'm sure there's some sort of deep psychology meaning behind why I do this but essentially: arms for entertainment/style, top of thighs for lust, bruises on the lower legs to calm down. I wish I didn't have to constantly worry about if my sleeves are exposing my scars as I wish people wouldn't think of anything about them and/or see them the way I do. I like to dream about harming myself like by stabbing because I've reached the point where I find enjoyment out of my blood vessels screaming but there's this safety lock thing in my brain that prevents me from causing any actual harm and it's really annoying I wish I knew how to overcome it.

 

[Signal]

It's cool as hell! Self harm scars are like my tattoos except they keep fading and I wish they didn't do that. I love how it feels, how it looks, how it scars after a day or two looking all red. I'm sure there's some sort of deep psychology meaning behind why I do this but essentially: arms for entertainment/style, top of thighs for lust, bruises on the lower legs to calm down. I wish I didn't have to constantly worry about if my sleeves are exposing my scars as I wish people wouldn't think of anything about them and/or see them the way I do. I like to dream about harming myself like by stabbing because I've reached the point where I find enjoyment out of my blood vessels screaming but there's this safety lock thing in my brain that prevents me from causing any actual harm and it's really annoying I wish I knew how to overcome it.

Yeah, having to worry about people seeing your scars is kind of annoying sometimes, lately i have even started having dreams (or nightmares i guess) about people finding my scars and i usually wake up feeling pretty uncomfortable and anxious when that happens. Also, i have never made the connection between cutting myself and lust, as you say you cut your thighs because of that, what is it like?

 

[Cauliflour]

Also, i have never made the connection between cutting myself and lust, as you say you cut your thighs because of that, what is it like?

I've done it twice but there's some sort of psychological thing with me cause the blade is really close that I've always associated cutting there as doing it for the horny although I don't know if it actually does anything special because I suck at both cutting there (never scars, too much meat) and the whole self fucking thing. I imagine the effect is much greater if it's someone else doing it but I wouldn't know because I'm lonely and even if I ever was in a scenario like that, no sane person would agree to do that. So in summary, it just kinda feels like cutting on the arm but sharper. Much sharper, less slice-y more pointy but that might just be my method.

 

[Signal]

I've done it twice but there's some sort of psychological thing with me cause the blade is really close that I've always associated cutting there as doing it for the horny although I don't know if it actually does anything special because I suck at both cutting there (never scars, too much meat) and the whole self fucking thing. I imagine the effect is much greater if it's someone else doing it but I wouldn't know because I'm lonely and even if I ever was in a scenario like that, no sane person would agree to do that. So in summary, it just kinda feels like cutting on the arm but sharper. Much sharper, less slice-y more pointy but that might just be my method.

Hmm, well, i guess i kinda get what you mean, that about the blade being close

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I have been doing it for a few months now, and i have growing more and more curious about why others people do it.

I started doing it when i was probably at the lowest point i had been in a long time, and i guess it kinda helped me at times, specially seeing the scars that formed on my arm and the fresh cuts helps me calm down in a way, i dont really know why. And so, i want to know what is youre experience like with SH.

I do it when I'm splitting, which is when my emotions are so intense I can physically feel them and I can't control them. I either destroy my body or destroy other things to help ease out my emotions. And self harming is the only way I'm currently capable of dealing with my extremely out of hand emotions without anyone around me finding out and thinking I'm a complete nut case.

 

[Sergeant45]

I used to, just to see if it would do anything for me.

I regret everything it left behind on my skin because it in fact was not for me and didn't do anything, not even emotionally.

 

[pancakelover20]

self punishment when i get real upset with myself over something i did or just who i am in general. or just because i want adrenaline. i used to cut but now i heat up a bobby pin with a lighter then burn myself. something about the burning is more of an adrenaline rush than cutting was for me and it helps to interrupt obsessive or intrusive thought patterns too. tbh ive never felt addicted to it necessarily, i could and can stop if i felt i really needed to. its a choice and it helps when nothing else is getting me.