Do you respect your parents?

[Parnate]

I honestly don't think I do.
My father is a post graduate in commerce. He worked at the same organisation for twenty seven years. During that time there wasn't much appraisal for the work he put in. There were better paying opportunities but he didn't go for them. End result we lived just above the poverty line. We had sufficient home cooked food and education But that was all.
My mother was extremely abusive until my later teens. My sister was abusive to me till I was twenty five . My father never stopped the abuse which he could have.
Things have changed now,
My father changed his organisation and earns better than before, my mother is no longer abusive.
But I am so long gone , I am far away from them, from life itself.
Most of the time I am lost daydreaming, thinking what if I had been born in another family, with a different life.
I wish my family had been either poor or abusive . not both.
It has been 32 years of not such a good life,
They all say it will get better, I feel it will get better and it actually is.
But , I am dead inside. Pieces of my heart have been cut and taken away from me .
There are wounds which have left permanent scars on me.
I am just floating, letting life take me in whichever direction it wants.
I never had a control over my life , I don't think most people have. But if life takes you from on suffering to another and life itself becomes a series of sufferings, you feel like a puppet at the hands of fate, god or whatever greater power there is in this universe.

 

[TraurigerClown]

I hate my Parents to the guts.
My father killed himself, when i was 5yo, after my mother accused him of rape, which he didnt do. Just so she cut get a fast divorce!
Then she married my stepfather and he was a fucking pedo....so yeah...i hate them

 

[darksouls]

no, my parents are human scum, I despise them

 

[Lilithium]

My mom is a narcissist who refuses to apologize for being physically and emotionally abusive to me when I was a child, and my dad is an enabler who tries to get me to accept her half baked non-apologies.

I don't feel like I have a lot of respect left for them.

 

[fadedghost]

no

 

[TwistedNightmares]

Not at all. My ex-father abandoned me completely, and my mom is a schizophrenic narcissist. She has made my life a living hell.

 

[ginko0]

I give them respect, but deep inside, not really

 

[X-sanguinate86]

Two losers who ate up a bunch of obvious lies for selfish reasons, had kids for the same selfish reasons and then just sat there watching me suffer for years? No.

 

[MrJoker789]

My mom yes
Despite all her flaws, she still loves me
She have many of the same issues I have
It's just a never ending cycle I guess
Why I'm not having kids
I find it much harder to respect my dad
I had made my peace with him and forgiven him
We barely talked since he left me my mom and my siblings shortly after I was born
He died 1 or 2 years ago
He didn't leave me any letter
I just find it hard to find an excuse for him not to
No awkwardness or anything, he would be dead when I saw it
To make it worse no one invited me to his funeral
It just felt like I had to go through the trauma of being abandoned by him once again
I am trying to make peace with it again, because what good does it do to go and be bitter about it :(

 

[nitrogenous]

Look, as much as I want to, I'm not in the position to respect them (at least for now). They have contributed heavily into why I want to ctb so badly and any interactions with them usually ends with my SI being much worse. I don't think I can forgive them for all the abuse they've done (and still am doing)… physically, medically, financially, emotionally, mentally, the list goes on. Sure, they might have grown up in an unstable household themselves, but that does not give them any permission to lash all of it on me. I can't imagine how much further I could have accomplished in life, if it's not because of them. Maybe one day, I will learn to forgive and eventually respect them, but unfortunately, not now, yet.

 

[michaaaaaal]

I'm estranged from my father and my mother only cares about me and my depression in the sense that it inconveniences her and she's like a better (happier) son, so no, not particularly. I think the worst thing about CTB is that I'll never be able to witness their reactions, literally the only way to get them to care about me in any way, which deep inside I'd like experience very much, just for once lol.

 

[FoxSauce]

Depends fully fully, no. If shes right ill give her that. Theres times shes always right even tho she caused or misunderstood the situation, she doesnt take accountability. She rarely apoligizes for things she does.


Ofc I understand no ones perfect I get that but I just ignore her.

Ofc Im self aware I can be a bitch too. If indo something wrong ill do my best to apoligize and take accountabilitly

Rn were just roomates. Do I mind , no the farther shes not in my business the better.

Ofc if shes a good mood ill do my best to treat her the same respect.

 

[Seneca65AD]

It appears I am definitely in the minority when I say "yes" - I respect my parents. Both came from poor backgrounds and neither had an education. But they worked hard to make sure my sister and I were fed and clothed. Admittedly there was a time where I blamed them for moving around so much when I was a child, but my father had to go where the work was. Now I realize they were both in their teens when they had me and only slightly older when they had my sister, and had no real support system to guide them in child rearing.

They did the best they could with the hands they were dealt - there were the usual "spankings" that seemed to be prevalent for all kids raised in the 60's but nothing I consider to be abuse. I still love and respect them.

Did they contribute to my CTB ideations? One could say yes - we moved around a dozen times during my school years. That lead to bullying etc. Of course, looking back, I was an odd little kid and that definitely did not help my mental stability. I have dealt with my past and it rarely arises to push me back into the "black void"; now, CTB ideation is mostly triggered and/or fed by the present or future.

 

[ceelobling]

Fuck no. I was gonna write a bunch of stuff, but no I don't even want to think of them. Because of them it took me years to actually fit in and be normal in life.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

No, they had sex and then cared about me only to the extent that I'd give them what *they* wanted.

If we weren't related and I weren't still stuck living with them, I wouldn't be acting nearly as friendly with them as I am now.

 

[Pluto]

 

[preachyflockk]

No, I want them to suffer after Im gone

 

[justanotherbody]

Also a fortunate minority who can fully answer yes, here.

I have a great, solid relationship with mine. I call them almost daily.

My only gripe with them was their inability to take any form of mental health concern seriously when I was growing up.

Other than that, they are good people who genuinely care and love sincerely. We've had healthy discussions about how their disregard for my depression and anxiety growing up was incredibly disparaging. They've since apologized and reconciled their outdated views.

Without hesitation, reserve, question, or judgment, they helped me when I was at my lowest during the summer of 2024. And I would honestly not be where I am today had I not been lucky enough to be spawned from them.

I love my parents. And I truly wish more people were able to say that.

 

[deny_conformity]

My dad died about 20 years ago so I have no opinion about him. He was abusive growing up but as I've come to terms with my bipolar I can see I am similar to him but he took the easy option to self-medicate on alcohol and morphine. So I guess both yes and no.

I recently went completely non-contact with mother so I guess I don't. I was forced to like with her last year when I tried to CTB and after eight months of hell I just walked out and blocked her on everything. I haven't spoken to her since the end of November and I don't miss her. I don't respect her.

 

[Bungee_gum]

I'd say so yeah. I do have more respect for my dad than my mom, my mom did slightly neglect me and my siblings growing up and abused me when i was younger but things are better now though i feel like as a person my dad is just better, but neither are great imo

 

[ImUnknown]

My dad and I had our differences but everything changed when I had to move back in with him. We're very similar in a lot of ways, politically and philosophically and I always say to myself that it feels like a 1 in a million because I here so many bad stories of dads not being very good. He's taught me a lot

My mother on the other hand I'm a bit disappointed with. She raised me in childhood and my dad would visit every fortnight. She was quite negligent in my opinion and weirdly I don't even know that much about her lol

 

[CapitánBeto]

It's heartbreaking to see so many people have such negative experiences with their parents.
I have to say, it wasn't easy with mine either.
I realize that being a parent is a complex task and encompasses a lot of responsibility.
For a long time I resented them, I fantasized about their death on a daily basis.
Even the memory of the tiniest mistake they could have made would trigger me into feeling bitter and angry towards them.

I've come to understand, they always loved me and my brother. Their devotion is genuine and they have made a lot of sacrifices to try and provide for us what we needed and more; and they did.
They made mistakes, yes. But they did their wholeheartedly best.

I can't blame them.
I've learned to forgive and have mercy on them. As I've learned to forgive and have mercy on the people who have wronged me.
It's not easy and I'm still on the process.

I'm one of the fortunate ones who can say I love my parents and they are one of the main reasons I keep trying to get better. I don't want to CTB on them.

Because it is rough and ugly,
Because all its branches are grey
I have pity on the fig tree.

 

[pax420]

I was adopted at birth and don't know who my natural parents were. I always figured my real mom was probably some kind of junkie prostitute because I ended up being one. Junkie that is. I wish I could find somebody to pay me for sex lol I figured my real father was a customer or a pimp or drug dealer. I. Never had any desire to find them or even talk to the. I figured they threw me away once why give them another chance. As far as I was concerned my adoptive parents weren't real parents. They also adopted my 2 years younger than me sister at birth. We had a real good childhood and they loved both of us. We pretty much had everything we needed. And a lot of what we wanted. Until I turned 12. That was the start of my miserable existence. At. Least for me. For some reason I came to believe that my mom hated me. Mostly because of the difference between the way she treated my sister and i. My sh began at that time. Bashing my head into door jams and walls knocking my self out probably 50 times altogether. I also starting cutting my arms just to watch the blood run down my arms and fall off my fingers into the ground. I didn't do it because I thought my mom hated me ane I didn't to I to really hurt myself. I just wanted to feel something, anything besides nothing. I had no emotions. And no reaction to pain or if something scared or surprised me. No refluxes. They didn't know about the cutting but the head bashing was a little hard to hide. Especially when I would do some of that in front of them. They stuck me in a private mental hospital from between 13-16 I spent over half of that locked up. That's where I first had sex first done drugs and basically developed into the mess I am now. I also learned how to lie and fake emotions and fit in with other people and I became awesome at it. I finally got out and for my 17 birthday my mom threw me out. I. Fake loved my dad and he did me I believe. I kept in touch with him I tried about every. 4 or 5 months. From time to time he would try to help me and offered me money on occasion but I was too proud and headstrong and probably too ignorant to accept it. I spoke to my mom from time to time and she would say she loved me but I never felt it from her or towards her. During on of my periods of disapperance my dad died and she waited until 3 weeks after he was buried to tell me. I never forgave her or talked to since then. My sister on the other hand grew up 'normal' graduated high school went on to college became a lawyer got married and had a kid who is now an Olympic gymnist and graduated college as an engineer. I haven't spoken to her either. I watched her on Facebook. And she doesn't know or care what happened to me. We were never really close and barely got along growing up. Now im 56 years old by myself and pretty much know my actual experation date, maybe 5 years if I'm lucky. But I don't believe in luck or fate. I'm going to ctb on my time and my terms. At the beginning of spring. Which I am almost ready with supplies and place and time. Just waiting for that warm spring air to start blowing on my face. Then finally, peace. Well actually nothingness.

I was adopted at birth and don't know who my natural parents were. I always figured my real mom was probably some kind of junkie prostitute because I ended up being one. Junkie that is. I wish I could find somebody to pay me for sex lol I figured my real father was a customer or a pimp or drug dealer. I. Never had any desire to find them or even talk to the. I figured they threw me away once why give them another chance. As far as I was concerned my adoptive parents weren't real parents. They also adopted my 2 years younger than me sister at birth. We had a real good childhood and they loved both of us. We pretty much had everything we needed. And a lot of what we wanted. Until I turned 12. That was the start of my miserable existence. At. Least for me. For some reason I came to believe that my mom hated me. Mostly because of the difference between the way she treated my sister and i. My sh began at that time. Bashing my head into door jams and walls knocking my self out probably 50 times altogether. I also starting cutting my arms just to watch the blood run down my arms and fall off my fingers into the ground. I didn't do it because I thought my mom hated me ane I didn't to I to really hurt myself. I just wanted to feel something, anything besides nothing. I had no emotions. And no reaction to pain or if something scared or surprised me. No refluxes. They didn't know about the cutting but the head bashing was a little hard to hide. Especially when I would do some of that in front of them. They stuck me in a private mental hospital from between 13-16 I spent over half of that locked up. That's where I first had sex first done drugs and basically developed into the mess I am now. I also learned how to lie and fake emotions and fit in with other people and I became awesome at it. I finally got out and for my 17 birthday my mom threw me out. I. Fake loved my dad and he did me I believe. I kept in touch with him I tried about every. 4 or 5 months. From time to time he would try to help me and offered me money on occasion but I was too proud and headstrong and probably too ignorant to accept it. I spoke to my mom from time to time and she would say she loved me but I never felt it from her or towards her. During on of my periods of disapperance my dad died and she waited until 3 weeks after he was buried to tell me. I never forgave her or talked to since then. My sister on the other hand grew up 'normal' graduated high school went on to college became a lawyer got married and had a kid who is now an Olympic gymnist and graduated college as an engineer. I haven't spoken to her either. I watched her on Facebook. And she doesn't know or care what happened to me. We were never really close and barely got along growing up. Now im 56 years old by myself and pretty much know my actual experation date, maybe 5 years if I'm lucky. But I don't believe in luck or fate. I'm going to ctb on my time and my terms. At the beginning of spring. Which I am almost ready with supplies and place and time. Just waiting for that warm spring air to start blowing on my face. Then finally, peace. Well actually nothingness.

Damn here's another laf post. Long ass fucking post. I'm full of words the last couple of days. Thank God I have this place to leave them. I guess this will be the only evidence I even existed. Thanks y'all for the hugs and likes and loves. Maybe if I had this 35+ years ago life would have been totally different. But I didn't and it wasn't. But I'm not worried and am done trying to make it somehow better. I'm. Just tired and in too much physical pain to even care. Thanks again

 

[RiderNo.4]

I don't think any family is perfect. That being said, I feel like I come from a very loving family- they both care, and (mostly) support me. So yeah, I definitely respect my parents :) .

It's honestly crushing reading through some of these experiences. It's completely unfair that some of y'all had to go through all of that- I wish your days are somewhat better now :( .

 

[Trilly]

Hell no. They barely cared for me and are brainwashed idiots, I swear

 

[dragon.//]

My parents are the root cause of my suffering, birth.

 

[Pepper]

Fuck no.
Both parents were previously married before getting divorced, meeting one another and dating before having me. I wish they never met one another, but due to them, I have three half-siblings in total. My two half-brothers I haven't had a relationship with in 25 years, thanks to my father signing off on them as to not pay child support, and my narcissist half-sister making me out to be crazy for being suicidal and attempting in my teenage years due to emotional, mental, physical and verbal abuse from both parents.
My father's only true love in life was alcohol and his mother who passed away in 2009, and he (and also my mother) have never been smart when it comes to finances. Hell, he couldn't even graduate high school without dropping out and only having one credit left. Therefore, we went without food, heat in the winters, and rent not being paid. My mother was brave enough to leave him for a few years, but also stupid enough to get back with him, which was when a lot of the abuse started to happen. Nor did she defend me when being abused. This is also when I saw that my half-sister was the golden child to my overt narcissist mother, albeit being a heroin addict and riding the "disability"*/welfare wave because it was much easier to have the government pay for her to live rather than to use her criminal justice degree and make a career for herself. Oh, and the DSS and IRS fraud both her and my mother have committed totaling upwards of $80k (IRS).
I know all of them hate their lives for various reasons - my father is dependent on my mother because he can't think or take care of himself and needs a motherly figure to guide him through life and he's disabled now, my mother never expected her life to turn out this way and more than likely would've preferred to ride off the back of one of her successful daughters (psych), and half-sister is just an all around fucking loser who still thinks she's better than everyone while DSS pays for her housing and food stamps, but lost her previous apartment and disability in 2023 because someone blew her ass in, still no job to this day or vehicle. Oh, and one dead baby daddy who died last year and another dead beat baby daddy who will probably end up dead as well - but honestly, that's not good enough for me. All three of them deserve to kick the bucket. Maybe then I could finally breathe and possibly enjoy life.

* Disability is in quotations because she deals with a skin disorder that I also have, just not to the extent as she has. However, she's been in remission with that for over a decade at least with no new surgeries and her crohn's disease is has also been in remission for almost two decades. Her only limitation for working was not to be in hot/humid conditions for sweating, yet last time I checked, she had to have sweat when procreating. This is also the same woman who lied to a police officer on one occasion for being raped (proven false, her son admitted she asked him to go along with the lie) and another police officer on another occasion for being hit with a vehicle. To which, I've been sexually assaulted and raped more than once. As if it's not bad enough for us women as it is now when it comes to being believed or having justice served.

Holy shit, that was long. I'm sorry.

 

[ConfusedClouds]

I wish I could. Its part of my mental guilt and confusion. They were never 'bad' to me. None of the issues or traumatic events sadly experienced by so many here. I've just never felt close to them. That sense like when you're a teen and its 'uncool' to be seen as loving towards parents. But its never gone. Which gives me a lot of guilt as I know objectively how difficult/time consuming/life consuming raising kids is. Yet I can't somehow process any sense of gratefulness. But no 'hate' either.

 

[X-sanguinate86]

I think there is a huge void due to not being connected to parents or caregivers or any family really. It's like you are part of nothing. The world turns and you're really not relevant to anything. History unfolds including social history but you're not a part of that. You're nothing. And in my case, my parents are the main factor that led to this. I never liked them and if I tried to roleplay as though we had a real connection the way health families do it still wouldn't change anything. It's just not there. I will suffer for it until the day I die and it can never truly be fixed.