No, not really.
When my mom was pregnant with me and my twin sister, she went to a hospital on the air force base in Hawaii because she was having pains or something to that extent. When she got there, they wanted to sign something and give her an injection. She became hysterical and called my dad who told her not to sign anything and that he was on his way there. She ended up signing the paper under a state of duress and the injection did way more harm than good. She went into labor right then and there and my sister and I were born 3 months premature. We were instantly put in the ICU because I had a grade 4 brain bleed due to the injection and my mom said I ended up with something along the lines of a punctured lung. (The doctors also told her there was a high probability of complications later in life due to the TBI) My sister was way worse off than I was. She never left the ICU and died there. I got chest tubes and was cleared to go home after a long while. Doctors said I wouldnt make it, but I beat the odds and my mom likes to think that when my sister passed, she gave me the strength to survive. My mom went to court for years to fight for what happened. It was malpractice and the paper she signed along with the injection should never have been done. I had a trust fund set aside in case I had another brain bleed. When I was about 12 years old, I started having these episodes of depersonlization/derealization and in the beginning, it would go away if I took a nap/went to bed. I began having intense migraines and what felt like pressure behind my eyes. My parents took me to the hospital and they did scans on my head which showed that the ventricals in my head were almost non-existant they were so narrow. The hospital scheduled a flight down to seattle so I could see neurology specialists at Madigan (I think that was the name of the hospital). Eventually they wanted to put a shunt in to see if that would help drain the CSF but the huge problem was that because of the brain injury, there was now this opening that was filled with CSF and if they put a shunt in, there was a posibility it could make things much worse. The doctors there were already in shock seeing me for the first time. They expected me to be in a wheelchair unable to move or talk. They werent going to risk it seeing how I was doing pretty good for my condition. Fast forward and Im now 34 years old, I have tried every medication under the sun for generalized anxiety and chronic depression. None have ever worked. The only reason Im taking the meds I have now is because it at least keeps my head above water long enough for me to get a breath before going back under. Im REALLY sorry for that long winded explaination! :(
I dont resent my parents for bring me into life. I know that it was largely the malpractice by the doctors that amplified everything to where they are today. My parents have given me the best upbringing I could ever ask for. I just wish that they would have never met...does that make sense? They're amazing people, I just think I wasnt ever supposed to *BE*, you know? Im just tired :/
