Do you resent your parents for bringing you into this life?

[The Schizoid]

Boo-hoo. The world is full of adverse opinions and you seem less prepared for the hostile world than anyone else here. I mean, they may be as immature as they want, but getting hurt over people's experiences is a low no one here fell on. ;)

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that English isn't your first language because what you said barely makes any sense. At leas I had a coherent argument to back up my point of view, you do not. You don't have the intelligence.

 

[BlessedBeTheFlame]

Not for bringing me into life, but for not snuffing me out of it. As soon as I was diagnosed as autistic, I should've been brought to a cliff and pushed down. There's just no reason to keep me alive. I resent anyone, who believes subhumans like me can be kept alive. Now I'm too cowardly to do it and will just ruin your world. All of these people are bootlicking idiots, who are willing to destroy their own existence for feeling righteous about themselves.

 

[White_Alice]

No, not really.

When my mom was pregnant with me and my twin sister, she went to a hospital on the air force base in Hawaii because she was having pains or something to that extent. When she got there, they wanted to sign something and give her an injection. She became hysterical and called my dad who told her not to sign anything and that he was on his way there. She ended up signing the paper under a state of duress and the injection did way more harm than good. She went into labor right then and there and my sister and I were born 3 months premature. We were instantly put in the ICU because I had a grade 4 brain bleed due to the injection and my mom said I ended up with something along the lines of a punctured lung. (The doctors also told her there was a high probability of complications later in life due to the TBI) My sister was way worse off than I was. She never left the ICU and died there. I got chest tubes and was cleared to go home after a long while. Doctors said I wouldnt make it, but I beat the odds and my mom likes to think that when my sister passed, she gave me the strength to survive. My mom went to court for years to fight for what happened. It was malpractice and the paper she signed along with the injection should never have been done. I had a trust fund set aside in case I had another brain bleed. When I was about 12 years old, I started having these episodes of depersonlization/derealization and in the beginning, it would go away if I took a nap/went to bed. I began having intense migraines and what felt like pressure behind my eyes. My parents took me to the hospital and they did scans on my head which showed that the ventricals in my head were almost non-existant they were so narrow. The hospital scheduled a flight down to seattle so I could see neurology specialists at Madigan (I think that was the name of the hospital). Eventually they wanted to put a shunt in to see if that would help drain the CSF but the huge problem was that because of the brain injury, there was now this opening that was filled with CSF and if they put a shunt in, there was a posibility it could make things much worse. The doctors there were already in shock seeing me for the first time. They expected me to be in a wheelchair unable to move or talk. They werent going to risk it seeing how I was doing pretty good for my condition. Fast forward and Im now 34 years old, I have tried every medication under the sun for generalized anxiety and chronic depression. None have ever worked. The only reason Im taking the meds I have now is because it at least keeps my head above water long enough for me to get a breath before going back under. Im REALLY sorry for that long winded explaination! :(

I dont resent my parents for bring me into life. I know that it was largely the malpractice by the doctors that amplified everything to where they are today. My parents have given me the best upbringing I could ever ask for. I just wish that they would have never met...does that make sense? They're amazing people, I just think I wasnt ever supposed to *BE*, you know? Im just tired :/

 

[Deleted member 8119]

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that English isn't your first language because what you said barely makes any sense. At leas I had a coherent argument to back up my point of view, you do not. You don't have the intelligence.

I've been coming to this comment because how hilarious it is :) Maybe work that reading comprehension before accusing others of your own inability to figure out things. What if my English wasn't good? At least I can read things I disagree without needing to insult others about it, unless they start first.

I think some of you are being stupid.
Life is life, people have the urge to fuck and have kids.
...is a whiny child. Grow up.

Your coherent "argument" was to call half the people who posted manchildren and stupid, then post an appeal to nature. Constructive!

 

[tbroken]

No i don't hate them. But things in my life turned out really evil not for my fault or my parents fault. I hate the fact that I will hurt them one more time, but I cannot do nothing with my sadness.

 

[Uninfluential_Karma]

Only because I was an accident. I wish things had been a little bit safer and more planned out between them.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Of course. I am an anti-natalist and think that there should be parenting licenses just like we have driving licenses. Some people should just not be allowed to breed. Before you force someone into this world, you'd better make sure you're not gonna be a toxic and abusive a-hole parent to them.

 

[N33dT0D13]

Only my mom, all the "I WANTED you and you act like this, I could've aborted you" shit do it, go back in time, fucking abort me please, you'd save us both a lot of bullshit and headaches.

 

[DanielDanDean]

I resent them a lot.
Their marriage was already rocky because they are 2 flawed people, they gave birth to me and put me in their shitty situation.
They made a defective person, both physically (I'm just ugly, but being ugly is already hard) and mentally.
From 10 to 18 years old I was full of hate for them because of that, I then forgave them and now I begin to feel resentment again..
Being free from them was very helpful to have a better life but then I fall under control of a woman and can't escape it, my parents support everything that is happening to me right now, imagine how I feel about them?

Now my "girlfriend" wants kids and is pressuring me.. I don't want to do this to anyone..

 

[Manfrotto99]

Yes I do. My parents were very controlling. They didn't allow me to be myself or encourage my individuality. If I disagreed or didn't go along with them then I was punished and shamed. My life was just to serve them and make them happy. If I didn't do that then I was a failure. My father is a narcissistic, my sister the golden child and my mother was a enabler. They made me the scapegoat. I've been stupid for never being able to break free of that pattern, but I also resent them for it.

 

[SketchTurner]

No, my mother tried her best and I believe only did so with good intentions. I don't believe antinatalism and philosophical arguments are something to be used to blame someone with good intentions, I was only forced to be aware of them because of luck and circumstance .
My mother actually apologised to me saying at the time the concept of mental health being heritable and dna etc wasn't in the public consciousness, and she may not have had me if she knew how I might inherit things from my father. Her apologising was just sad, it wasn't relief or cathartic in any way for me.
I just treat it very impersonal, just how things played out

 

[RadiantNumber]

Yes, I hate every moment of my life

 

[todiefor]

No. I'm not an antinatalist in any way, I don't have a problem with people wanting to have children.

I think circumstances surrounding many ppl's birth especially here on sasu can often be very difficult and unfortunate and I can understand the resentment, especially when you don't know what else to do. I'm really sorry, many stories here are truly heart breaking.

For me personally, I have some issues with the way my parents approached parenting, for example abandoning me for the first 10 years of my life and moving to a different country without me, visiting me once only during that entire time, then being very emotionally neglectful and distant for the rest of my childhood. The result is I never really had a childhood, I raised myself after I was 10. But it isn't all bad, my parents have other good qualities and I had wonderful grandparents who raised me for the first 10 years of my life. I don't consider myself to have had it too bad, but it has definitely caused lingering problems that I will prob never be able to quantify in terms of how much damage it has already done and will do in the future. Am I resentful? Yes a little, but I am willing to move on if they are. I am mostly sad that I will prob never know what it's like to have parent child relationship, but I could perhaps if I had my own children. I personally don't understand how anyone can do what they did, just thinking about what I am already willing to do for the hypothetical children I don't even have.

I think bad parenting can be disastrous but also these days, we have a lot of literature on parenting, parents can be alot more informed and educated these days. I've seen good parenting, my grandmother for example and parents of friends/partners I've had. I think if someone chooses to try their best everyday and always keep the child's welfare as the priority then that's all you can hope for.

Did I need to be asked consent to be born? No, but I do understand other's resentment and sense of powerlessness in relation to this.

Can you prevent all suffering for your child? No, but u can certainly try your hardest to prevent what you can, and also not all suffering is bad. And when the worst suffering happens perhaps it isn't as bad and can be meaningful if you had parents beside you on that journey, parents that are understand you as a person and are supportive and dependable.

Do I think some sort of mandatory empathy / readiness test should exist for prospective parents? Do I think prospective parents should have to attend mandatory classes? Yes and yes, but the first is not enforceable, the second however is more realistic.

 

[cheaptrick]

Not for having me but for being completely incompetent bozos.

 

[todiefor]

Now my "girlfriend" wants kids and is pressuring me.. I don't want to do this to anyone..

If you don't want kids, you probably should be very clear with her about that. If you don't want to be with her (assuming with your quotation marks around gf), u should be clear about that as well so you don't waste either of your time.

 

[CantDoIt]

I don't resent them, I am the one that messed up my life.

 

[Ashu]

I feel sorry for them. I wish the idea of remaining childless had been available to them. I and my sister, instead of bringing happiness into their lives and the opportunity to give happiness to us, ruined their love and their lives with the terrible problems we brought with us. Yet it was no one's fault, it was the sad shared fate of all of us.

 

[Imagined_Euphoria]

Yes. At least my father apologized for his mistake, he said he regrets it and was foolish.

 

[chronicdissosiation]

yep. and with the way my mother treats me it's confusing..aborting was always an option. they brought me into the world knowing how unstable they were financially. not to mention that she never needed to emotionally and physically abuse me when she couldve given me up lol

 

[like-spoiledmilk]

I can't. They were traumatized, young, and unfortunately stupid enough to spell my name incorrectly on my birth certificate.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

They have inflicted enough pain to me rather than helping me when I needed the most help. Bringing me to this world to abuse me was not cool I say. So yeah, I resent that.

 

[sanction]

I definitely do. Of course I understand they (including most parents) simply weren't aware how complicated having kids would be, and was mainly brainwashed by society to do so.... aside from that, I definitely resent them

My mother is a bit nicer and easier to deal with. As for my dad, he is the number 1 person I hate the most on this planet. Every now and then certain negative thoughts and hatred feelings would pass through my mind that is related to him

Life is difficult, meaningless and simply not worth it. Not having kids is the correct thing to do

I simply can't agree with the idea of.... just because my parents wanted kids, I am now stuck and forced to deal with all of the following, for well over 50 years

Pay endless bills, find a roof over my head, defend myself, figure everything out on my own, learn a million different things, endure endless pain and suffering, deal with health decline, feed myself forever, find my own meaning, find my own companionships to go through life with, witness their death, die on my own..... and the list goes on

They say if people complains about these things, usually mean they are spoiled and entitled. However, if you really look at it logically, it is completely the opposite way around

Life is not fair, full of bullshit, and brainwashing. Those who never been born, are the real ones that hit the jackpot. All of us here have been cursed

 

[divinemistress36]

Even though I have good parents I still think most procreation is selfish but I guess all the trauma in life has made me feel this way. A lot of people have good lives but there's a lot of people who have terrible lives to. It's such a gamble and a game of luck and its terrible we arent able to access peaceful methods to leave this game

 

[sanction]

Who can explain and clarify the following logic

For example, if I have a kid, and then I tell him/ her.......

I bought you here to be my companion. But guess what? You have to make sure you come up with your own food for the next 50 years, and also find ways to buy your own house, otherwise you will starve to death and end up on the streets

Of course there are way more than just these 2 things. But just these 2 alone, are already shocking enough. Just these 2 things alone, easily add up to a million dollars

While all this is labelled as "true love", or "unconditional love".......... lol

Who can explain how this makes any sense??

 

[divinemistress36]

Who can explain and clarify the following logic

For example, if I have a kid, and then I tell him/ her.......

I bought you here to be my companion. But guess what? You have to make sure you come up with your own food for the next 50 years, and also find ways to buy your own house, otherwise you will starve to death and end up on the streets

Of course there are way more than just these 2 things. But just these 2 alone, are already shocking enough. Just these 2 things alone, easily add up to a million dollars

While all this is actually labelled as "true love", or "unconditional love".......... lol

Who can explain how this makes any sense??

People confuse love and their ego

 

[Felodese]

They really weren't equipt to be parents, so they shouldn't have had 4 fucking kids - one more fucked up than the other.
So yes, I do.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Yes I do.
I didn't ask to be brought into this evil, nightmarish world filled with evil, immoral psychopaths and where you are in a never ending struggle to survive and have to earn money to survive.

They were nearly 40 when they had me.
They knew very well this world is a horrible place filled with: evil, immoral people - murderes, rapists, terorrists, criminals - organized and non organized, tyrnats, pimps and the list goes on and on.

No but I am disgusted that I did what most parents dream of and got into medical school. Only to have them not give a shit. Then basically be punished and treated like shit. When I was a victim of crimes by the medical school. They couldn't have given less of a shit. I'm now bordering on homeless while they could fight to get me justice but they would rather focus on themselves. My life being stolen means nothing to them. Literally nothing. No help no nothing. Just doing everything they can to make me feel less then dirt.

 

[avalonisburning]

There's a lot of things I resent them for, but I don't specifically resent them for giving birth to me. They couldn't have possibly known things would turn out this way when I was conceived. The choices they made after the fact, however, is a different matter entirely.

 

[Abyssal]

I only resent myself for not killing myself at 8

 

[sanction]

Here is an interesting Facebook page, where parents that regret having children share their stories

www.facebook.com/IRegretHavingChildren