agreement

agreement

Mage
Mar 26, 2018
544
Nope
 
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Dog Food

Dog Food

POS
Mar 27, 2018
143
Yeah, as a kid my uncle committed suicide. Although I was unable to understand it, the idea fascinated me, and the thought of where his mind had been when he had done it was incomprehensible but intriguing. I was 12 when I first started to get suicidal.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
Oh yeah. No matter how miserable growing up I never thought it would be actively suicidal coming up with ways to CTB. When I was a kid I use to "pray for god to take me up to heaven" in my sleep. Early 2007 was when CTB started to finally seem like a real possibility.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,813
Probably when I was a kid, I never thought the idea of suicide was logical or rational and being impressionable kid, I was really naive and heavily indoctrinated by pro-life rhetoric. It wasn't until I was in my late teens or near college age before I decided that ctb'ing can be a rational, logical choice, which was also around the time where I developed some serious critical thinking.
 
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Empty RN

Empty RN

Student
Oct 25, 2018
107
I always knew I was going to die by my own doing, I just didn't realize I'd make it to the age I'm at.

The days of blue skies and optimism died when I left the cult and realized how truly bleak and gray humanity is.
Which cult were you a part of?
 
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Threads

Threads

Warlock
Jul 13, 2018
721
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Empty RN

Empty RN

Student
Oct 25, 2018
107
I first learned of suicide when I was about 7, my father and the 6 kids at the time plus my mom were in the van at a gas station by a big intersection. We ran out of gas and my father was upset and embarrassed. My mom said she was going to get a pastor to come and bring money for gas- my father got mad and took my two older brothers to hitchhike a ride home, leaving my mom and the rest o fus in the car. For whatever reason, my mom got upset, ran in the middle of the road and lied down (at least 8 months pregnant) I ran after her in hopes cars would see me standing there and nnot run her over. Eventually someone pulled over and helped her up and back to a safe area. I don't know that the term 'suicide' registered then really but I knew she was trying to take her life. When I was 16, my father left for CA for infinite amount of time. My mom had already passed on by this itme, and at this point there were 9 of us siblings in the house. It was my older brother and myself left to take care of everything. My older brother told my niece he was having suicidal thoughts, and at the same time, for the first time in my life, I could relate because I was experiencing them as well.
 
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D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,107
It's just something I remember from my youth. I distinctly remember being completely confused as to how & why someone would ever even contemplate ending their life. Like I couldn't register even a little bit why in the world someone would want to do that to themselves.
I guess I had a pretty decent childhood, until high school, but it's kind of jarring when I compare my state of mind then and to now.
I guess i became a completely different person after all these years because I understand it more now (this may be obvious).

It's freaky how I became something that at one point I couldn't even begin to imagine.
No.
 
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