Discussion Do you remember how old you were when you lost all hope?

[Drogon]

39

 

[theendoftheroad]

Ever since I was a kid, about 10 or 11 I always felt that this life wasn't worth living, the amount of effort I had to put in wasn't worth what I got back. When my dad hung himself a year later that completely cemented things and it just became a matter of time. At 15 my girlfriend of 2 years who was the whole reason I had made it that far suddenly had to move because of her crazy mom and we had to upkeep a long distance relationship. It was fine at first but it clearly wasn't working and decided to "take a break", with my fully expecting to get together with her again when things got better. A little while later after sparse communication I found out she was in an abusive relationship, had lost her virginity, and barely thought of me anymore. At that point my whole world crumbled. At 16 I moved to my childhood house with my dad's side of the family because I knew there was a bridge nearby and planned on using that. Except it wasnt as near as tall as I remembered, and it overlooking water and dense woods was a problem as there was no guarantee I wouldn't just survive the drop into the water or get impaled on a tree and die slowly like that. At 17 my cat of 3 year who id nursed since a kitten unexpectedly died and that was the final nail in the coffin. I no longer had any attachments to this world and officially gave up and became a shut in neet for 3 years

 

[idfwlnh]

I believe I started to hate this world since I was 7, long story short I was mentally and verbally bullied at school, therefore isolated. At the same time, my ignorance of the internet also led me to be, idk how to put this, lets just say kept being pursued by perverted weirdoes kept sending nudes for a while. Now and then hope appears then dissolves in a second, so i completely lose it at 13 14 or so

 

[SDB]

At 49 something permanently broke in me. The only way I'm surviving is through my moms support. I should be really embarrassed but I'm so checked out I can't care. The only treatment is death.

I'm 45 can you elaborate on what you mean?

 

[TAW122]

I would say sometime during my adolescent years, after realizing what reality was and growing up to be an adult. Childhood life sucked and adult life mostly sucked, with some moments where it is enjoyable, but not enough to outweigh the long term suffering and permanent issues that I face. I believe I'm just biding my time until the right circumstance and timing comes along and then I would have made my move towards CTB'ing.

 

[Hollowman]

I'm 45 can you elaborate on what you mean?

My brain is fucked I can't handle life. I should've ctb 35 years ago.

I'm 45 can you elaborate on what you mean?

 

[singingcrow]

this year tbh so 26….

but for some silly reason i'm still trying, applying for jobs, working out, ect