Do you really want to die, or do you just want things to change?

[CTB Fella]

If certain things, which depress or worry you, were to change/improve, would you still want to take your life?

 

[Artictart]

If certain things, which depress or worry you, were to change/improve, would you still want to take your life?

I do want things to change, but I also feel like even if they do change my thoughts and trauma would remain toxic. I feel like I'd still want to take my life

 

[CTB Fella]

I do want things to change, but I also feel like even if they do change my thoughts and trauma would remain toxic. I feel like I'd still want to take my life

I know what you mean.

I can get a bit of good luck here & there, which would give me a lift, but my thoughts always go back to ending my life.

At this point it has become an obsession.

 

[Al_stargate]

I want for things to be how they were but that's not possible anymore. So I have no other choice but to die.

 

[rationaltake]

I want for things to be how they were but that's not possible anymore. So I have no other choice but to die.

I get this. What I want is impossible too.

 

[CTB Fella]

I get this. What I want is impossible too.

What do you want?

 

[Darkover]

a lot of it is down to wanting the pain to stop but i alot of people die who didn't want to die they would of repaired to live on

 

[rationaltake]

What do you want?

To have been conceived by different parents. Kind intelligent educated well-off parents.

What's your answer to the question?

 

[CTB Fella]

a lot of it is down to wanting the pain to stop but i alot of people die who didn't want to die they would of repaired to live on

Physical, or mental pain?

I suffer with the latter, and I sometimes feel like a cunt because of it. I've experienced physical pain before, and feel for those who constantly feel it.

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

Honestly............I want things to change because I have seen how beautiful the world can be. I want the pain to go away.

 

[SoftWorries]

I want to die because I don't want things to change. But change is inevitable.

 

[Burningaway]

Im not sure. Many things change and I feel the same or sometimes worse? I guess it depends on the person mental health at that point

 

[loopdaloop]

To die. Change is the thing I'm worried about. It could always change and get a lot worse, life can become a bottomless pit.

 

[imissmykitten]

i think deep down it's not what i really want. but it feels like the only way out

 

[AerialBoundaries]

I don't want to die. I just want to live life without pain. My ideal is to produce my music and live a decent quality of life.

 

[Avyn]

Even if I lived the best life possible, I'd still kill myself. I hate life itself, and while my current situation could be better, I don't really care about it as much. I'll ctb no matter what

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I certainly wish to cease existing. The thought of permanent non existence is so beautiful and ideal to me, I know that in my case I could never be delusional enough to actually wish to delay the inevitable in this harmful world filled with endless risks and unlimited potential for suffering.

Existence itself is the true problem, and anyway existing is something completely futile and unnecessary, the existence of life is a horrific mistake to me and I despise being conscious and aware. And anyway it's completely irrational wanting to be tortured by old age, I could never see the appeal in being trapped inside this decaying flesh prison because as humans we are slaves to it, we are slaves to suffering and to die is the only way to be free, to die would solve everything for me.

 

[ChildrensITV]

That's just the issue. There is no way to solve all my problems so death is the only answer. Even if I cold solve 2 or of my biggest problems, that would just make me less suicidal, but not make me want to live. The only way to make me want to live is to go back in time and fix a lot of shit magically. Again, death is the only answer. I am trapped on this piece of shit rock. I literally cannot wait to be dead.

 

[Little_Suzy]

We want our mental health disorders to improve. Therapy and medicine are insufficient, and they have left many of us feeling exhausted and uninterested in life.

Despite the fact that there is a strong likelihood that we will have a wonderful existence; this will not occur unless our mental health improves.

 

[Unwr!tten]

I just want things to get better. .-.

 

[myusername]

This life has been suffering from the start, so; yes.

 

[Death is my goal]

i can't imagine it improving, I'd prefer to be dead

 

[SilentSadness]

I would much prefer death. In death, there are no problems like the one in this question.

 

[kwho]

I want to go.

I am how i am. Have been since the beginning. Have been a good sport about this whole life thing too as long as i could and to the best of my abilities.

No i'm just a ghost, an empty shell anyway. There's no point.

 

[prtsn]

for me doesnt matter if things change for the best, I'm still overwhelmed just by living. everything feels like its too much for me to handle, I dont even know if cutting wood some place far away would be enough for me to give it a try

 

[Raven2]

I dont think things will change for me positively. If I could rewind a few years and go back to the life I had, I definitely wouldnt be on a suicide forum rn
But life has gone to shit and now here I am living an unfulfilled lonely life

 

[Suwa]

If things are to somehow improve, which I doubt, I don't think I would be looking forward to the end as much as I do. Not that the feeling will entirely go away, as currently my ideology would prevent that, but this may change as well. Though, I am scared of death just a little. Sometimes I feel like it would be wasteful if I were to die, as I have gained much knowledge and skill in several areas throughout my life. It's been proven by multiple doctors that I am overall above average, and I don't want to lose that. However, as much as that is the case, it's not like anything is going to change in the end. So why should I worry? There's nothing that I want to do before I die, so I don't know why I haven't done anything about it yet.

I dont think things will change for me positively. If I could rewind a few years and go back to the life I had, I definitely wouldnt be on a suicide forum rn
But life has gone to shit and now here I am living an unfulfilled lonely life

Haha, I can relate to that so much. I've done so many things I regret and I feel like I wasted my life.

 

[SleepingLessons]

Nope, I have no interest in things changing. My life has improved drastically in the past year and I have a lot to be excited for in the future, but I'm just not interested in participating in it. I don't know if winning a million pounds would change my mind at this point. I'm just ready to go, it's a weird feeling.

for me doesnt matter if things change for the best, I'm still overwhelmed just by living

Exactly this. Existence is just overwhelming, regardless of how good things are.

 

[Twiceler]

I do really want to die, but my instincts are like irrational. So I'm kinda forced to continue living.

 

[gaeulfeels]

I'm 21. I'm depressed since i was 7, so i don't think things gonna change :) it never gets better, i don't know why i didn't kill myself atp