Discussion do you plan to spite someone when you ctb?

[batmanreal]

people are horrible. they'll do awful things to you, ruin your life, and feel nothing when they see you struggling—even if they are the cause of your struggles. i've noticed that a lot of people just refuse to believe that others are struggling. your struggles will only be considered once it's too late, but even then, you probably won't be that lucky.
i want people to feel guilty when i kill myself, but they probably won't. no one cares. they'll blame anything and everything except themselves, even if you tell them that they were the issue.

spite isn't my sole motivation to ctb, it's just a recent thing that came to me. i used to feel a bit anxious about the possibility of others feeling guilty about my death, but i don't care now. i've become so bitter, i just hope guilt follows everyone forever. they could've done more to ease my suffering, they could've done the bare minimum, but they actively chose to hurt me. for that, i hope they suffer just as much. i doubt anyone will really feel anything, which sucks. i don't really exist in anyone's mind. i'll just disappear quietly, no matter how much noise i make on the way out.

 

[Morte]

yes, but hatred is too mentally draining and im too exhausted . i cant even write that much here because im tired, much less a suicide essay against someone .

 

[Forveleth]

I am not motivated by spite to die but hurting those left behind when I die is a nice bonus.

 

[Metro]

I probably will, though I've often wondered how many words of my note I should really dedicate to it

 

[Unhumanly.]

Thinking about this too but they probably find replacement of me quick enough for the guilt to actually linger

 

[Dukey]

My ex got a note prepared was already so depressed and lost.

Only to be happy for a while getting me attached.

To be thrown away like garbage the next without closure or even attempts to fix things.

He knew about my past and everything i struggled with and he still chose to end our relationship in the most vile and traumatic way.

Wished i could CTB in front of him with a gun to traumatize him.

But that's to much i guess words have to do.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

No. For better or worse, the people in my life have been good to me. Even the toughest people to get along with, even those who I've had issues with, I cannot find it in myself to blame them. I know I'm going to hurt them when I leave, and I regret it. I don't want them to be sad, I don't want them to grieve, I know they will anyways. Not to represent myself as some holier-than-thou being, I just blame myself more for my issues than anyone else. I can't blame them when they tried to help and I was just too far past salvation.

 

[peewee]

no one is responsible for the action itself we take to ctb, but there are usually people who push us to the breaking point. For me I know those people know who they are and what theyve done, even if they deny it, to me or themsselves, deep down they know. i wont call anyone out in my note, i dont need to. I will focus on the people who actually showed up for me and cared.

 

[darksouls]

no, people have always only delighted in my suffering, they have no sense of wrongdoing, no morals and no ethics, therefore they will not feel guilty

 

[Irisse]

no, people have always only delighted in my suffering, they have no sense of wrongdoing, no morals and no ethics, therefore they will not feel guilty

This.

 

[Liebestod]

Honestly kind of, I might do it on someone's birthday on purpose.

 

[copioushopelessness]

Honestly kind of, I might do it on someone's birthday on purpose.

I was thinking that too but it's too close to my daughter's birthday. The person who tortured me, put me through the worst kind of hell would most likely be happy about it. Hard to do it out of spite when the person has done everything in their power to make me suffer.

 

[ABadPerson]

No but I understand why you'd want to do so. I just have no-one to particularly spite other than myself, and carry all of the guilt of my past actions/lackof over my head that I can't even properly feel for the rest of my existence; it's hard to be hateful against others when I can tell I deserve it. At the same time, I do loathe the world in general rather than individuals for numerous reasons.

Maybe I'd be a bit pleased if I brought even a shred of emotion out of my mother, but I'll be dead so I won't get to experience it anyways.

 

[caesium]

Not really. I'll be dead anyways. Whatever people feel about it is their issue, not mine.

 

[F@#$]

I plan on taking out a bunch of nasty revenge before I leave.

 

[emilyprentiss]

I've evolved passed the point in my life of hating anyone. I no longer care. I don't even hate myself anymore, i feel complete apathy. In my experience karma is real and I needn't intervene. The person who abused me was within inches of becoming homeless and something much worse happened to another person who was cruel to me all without me interacting with either of them in months.

dying is my own karma.

 

[TheCallOfTheStars]

I'd want to do it in front of all the jackasses who brought me to this point. Maybe my ex too if I'm feeling extra petty.

 

[starboy2k]

at first i wanted to, but now i dont care…because they sure as hell wont.
they will cry their sympathy tears, call it grieving, then move on as if they had no part in what I did to myself.

 

[TheCavernousDeep.]

Definitely not. People have been really good to me. It's hard to imagine anyone to blame but myself.
I also got spited by my GF when she CTB'd and it really sucked. I mean on this forum I think the general sentiment is that suicide the a very important personal choice that people have the right to make. I think autonomy also probably comes with some level of accountability, so I don't think shifting blame around matches with the vibe of CTB, at least for me.

 

[whitetaildeer]

Lol absolutely. If you don't wanna be name dropped in a suicide note, don't be a dick to the person while they're still alive.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

Spite isn't my only motivation, but it's a big one. There's no point in me trying to name and shame in a suicide note, the people I hate most are allergic to responsibility.

I decided early in my planning not to leave a note of any kind, partially because it's too much work and people won't listen anyways, but also because I hope that leaving them guessing will hopefully make it so they can never shake off the guilt of *potentially* being responsible for my decision to CTB.

 

[woodlandcreature]

Kind of? I'm not planning on leaving a note which is part spite part lack of energy. I have people I hope my death hurts, but they probably won't care lol and I'm not calling anyone out or anything.

 

[bbbbbeluga]

I'm only including well wishes in my suicide note, and leaving my mom completely out of it. So a little subtle spite I suppose.

 

[calixocat]

I mean yea I want those who hurt me to feel guilty but at the end of the day, society causes suicide and there's not much we can do about society so maybe causing them guilt is the best way to get revenge

 

[RunDown]

I have a bit of spite towards my parents. I made a lot of bad decisions to get where I'm at but they have some accountability too. They were abusive. It's certainly not the main reason why I'm ctb. I'm chronically ill and suffering. I simply can't go on much longer. I'd much rather succeed and be happy in spite of them. Regardless, I'm sure my narcissistic parents will take it as a personal attack on them - they'll play victim to avoid any accountability.