Do you miss your old self?

[(Alex)]

I want to hear from others, but regarding myself I really do miss my old self, I miss the energy and the free time I had I had so much freedom, I miss when I was making so much friends, i miss not having any real responsibilities, gosh how I miss my old self now I feel lonely most of the time and I'm always under some pressure I wish time can go back, unfortunately tho now or then I've always been depressed but im pretty sure I was way better then than now, I don't know if I'm the only one who feel that way.

 

[Jadeith]

Not exactly miss my old self as i never liked myself much. It just grew into hatred over time. But, i do miss some things that were associated with my past self. I miss the patience i used to have. Ability to regenerate via sleep because nowadays no matter how long i slumber, will wake up angry and tired. Passion, when i had hobbies i actually enjoyed. Energy and will to do sth, try new things, travel. Now all of those are just a burden or a chore.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

yes

though i have always struggled with self hate and depression it has been worse lately and i think i am less likable now as i try so hard to be who i was before

 

[Exhausted546]

I want to hear from others, but regarding myself I really do miss my old self, I miss the energy and the free time I had I had so much freedom, I miss when I was making so much friends, i miss not having any real responsibilities, gosh how I miss my old self now I feel lonely most of the time and I'm always under some pressure I wish time can go back, unfortunately tho now or then I've always been depressed but im pretty sure I was way better then than now, I don't know if I'm the only one who feel that way.

I do tremendously.

A decade ago I was bright eyed, full of passion and ambition,insane work ethic, becoming a doctor,I was naive enough to even feel like nothing could stop me. I loved who I was actively becoming,I had never felt this alive in my entire life. I had already been through intense hardships that would break most but had come out stronger and more determined than ever....

Then a mix of traumatic events, soul-crushing health issues amplified by severe medication side effects, a sociopathic mother picking that moment of intense vulnerability to do everything in her power to psychologically break you and make your life hell to the point you constantly look like a beaten dog,can't look at people in the eyes anymore,can't study anymore and fail out. All this as a twisted power trip to ensure you don't slip out of her grasp. The moment you're finally broken,your family, satisfied that you failed hounds on you like hyenas, ramping up the toxicity and psychological abuse

By the time you move out,you're not the same anymore,you feel utterly broken and powerless. Try to get back up countless times only to miserably fail countless times. Nightly terrors for years.

You take way too long to recover enough to become functional again (which required colossal amounts of efforts, proper medical treatments,etc). Just as you thought you were finally starting to enjoy life again a decade later and felt hope you hadn't felt in a decade, you're hit many with back to back demoralizing news that show that there will only be more struggle ahead of you for the upcoming years. You're exhausted,on the verge of homelessness and want to end it all for good.

Yes I tremendously miss my old self. There's not a day I don't wish I could wind back time to September 2015 and move out before I collapsed and cut contact with my toxic family until I graduated.

Sorry for the wall of text

 

[Macedonian1987]

I miss my older self (when I was a kid and young teen) Back then I was healthy. I was friendless and without any love life back then too, but that didn't mattered to me at all.

 

[Realgar]

Yes!! Much healthier physically and much sharper mentally. I had friends, fun and adventures--life was good back then!

 

[LigottiIsRight]

Yeah, I undoubtedly miss how I functioned years ago, before I became a pile of worthless trash impaired by ridiculous obsessive thoughts. But at least I've come to accept that I won't go back to that state.

 

[Chronical_Suicidal]

For sure - if I knew my life would become like the way it is, I would've ctbed early.

 

[spiders.in.my.head]

Tbh, I havent been mentally well pretty much ever, but still, i miss a younger version of me. Even just a year or so ago, i was in a better place than i am now. i brought all these problems my own way, but I miss the version of me who still had hope and wanted to get better.