HangInThere
Just hanging around
- Apr 27, 2018
- 31
Hanger
Noosedancer
- May 29, 2018
- 277
I knew a young woman , she had no relatives and no money so that her town had to pay for cremating her hanged body. At first her body was cooled until the got to know thta no one would pay for a funeral and the she had not told anybody how she would to be buried and so on.
I had a distant friend a little older than me in high school. Ended up dating my sister later in life and we became reasonably close. Met my family, they'd been together for years etc. They ended up getting in trouble for some script drug use and getting pulled over one day. He ended up not going to sort this out at the courts and continued to use to some extent. Ended up losing his job months down the line and I suppose things became hard for them. Push came to shove and he shot himself in the head in their bathroom with a low caliber firearm. Death was not immediate. He was in the hospital for a solid week with severe brain damage. The bullet had not penetrated through both sides of his skull and had bounced a few times through his head. He could move his fingers a bit when he heard someones voice but that was it. We were there to see him pass with friends. Left my sister a mess for years. It has now been about seven years so she is much better although her life is still a scramble.
dano6533
Member
- Apr 30, 2018
- 46
My dad and several people i knew i the military. They were all massive tragedies. But I understand that people get to a point in life where the pain becomes unbearable and I do not blame them for their actions. I am heavily considering exiting early as well.
I guess even gunshot to head is not a secure method.....
It was a very stressful situation for him. I believe he had some further issue with the police as they were present and trying to convince him to come out. It is very painful to say as it makes me question the intelligence of someone I knew for so long and who expressed love to me. He used a .22 rifle. It was a very poor decision but he must've felt trapped. Guns can be a good method, just please use a slug or 00 buck shotgun. I would consider trusting a .45 pistol with hollow points if I had to. Just research and get as prepared as you can. I'm so glad he atleast passed.
DEFINITELY not in all contexts. Please, please, do yourself a favor and research things properly.
FullFat
^best order at Micky-D's ever
- Apr 27, 2018
- 375
No, just someone who attempted - my best friend. And boy, I wasn't much of a friend to her when it happened. I didn't offer diddly-squat in support in favor of focusing on my own problems. I definitely feel guilty about this, as I should.
El Topo
(---)
- Apr 21, 2018
- 478
I know someone whose stepfather committed suicide by lighting himself on fire in front of his wife because they were having a huge argument.
2 high school classmates, 1 college classmate, 1 close friend, husband of a close friend, brother of a close friend, student that I taught, murder/suicide down the street (met before but didn't know well).
Couple others that were suspected suicide but never confirmed.
Couple others that were suspected suicide but never confirmed.
That's quite a lot, is this a coincidence or does your country have a high incidence of suicide!
I'm from an upper middle class/ lower upper class neighborhood in the Midwest of the USA. Inability to meet expectations (society and individually) played a major role in each of them. Not being good enough. Valedictorian, attorney, college professor, 3.9 GPA student, PhD, multi millionaire that had a business fail. All represented in the above list.
I do live in a country where access to methods is easy..... and we (as a broad stereotype) have trouble looking beyond the next fiscal quarter.
I do live in a country where access to methods is easy..... and we (as a broad stereotype) have trouble looking beyond the next fiscal quarter.
A few acquaintance, one of whom had a very big impact on the particular minority community that they were and I am a part of as well as an impact on me. The person's partner (a friend of mine) has had a very bumpy, very hard few years since.
The father of a friend shot himself in the head while at home, his body was discovered by his sons. Didn't leave any messages or notes.
His company went bankrupt, I guess he didn't tell his family. They later lost the house and went living with relatives.
One of my best friends ended her life a few months ago. It hurt me more than words can say. I'm not going to fill this box with her whole life story, but she was an amazing, vibrant, and wonderful person who deserved the world.
I miss her. If I had one wish for anything in the world it would be to bring her back. You may not feel like you have anything to live for, but there are people who will be broken by your death.
I miss her. If I had one wish for anything in the world it would be to bring her back. You may not feel like you have anything to live for, but there are people who will be broken by your death.
HangInThere
Just hanging around
- Apr 27, 2018
- 31
Imaginos
Full-time layabout
- Apr 7, 2018
- 638
My biological grandmother hung herself in the basement when my mother was quite young (3 or 4, I think?) I don't know all the details, but apparently my grandmother was quite mentally unstable and would have extreme, violent mood shifts, which would sometimes lead her to inflicting direct physical abuse on others, including my mother. As an example, I seem to recall hearing about an incident where my grandmother broke my mom's collarbone over something trivial. A broken glass, or something like that. My grandmother seemed to be quite sorry about it afterwards, at least. She could very well have been suffering from a severe bipolar disorder I suppose (which might explain the wild shifts in mood), but again, I'm not entirely sure. The thing that sticks out the most in my mind about the whole thing is a story my mother once told me about how, on one occasion in the middle of winter, my grandmother dressed up both my mother and her brother (my uncle Daryl) as if they were about to go on a long trip, in a rather impulsive attempt by her to leave my (to this day) unbelievably caustic grandfather with the children, but it only took until the end of the driveway before she collapsed in the snow, sobbing uncontrollably, perhaps realizing that there was nowhere else she could go except back to the hell she was trying to escape. As far as I know, that's the most vivid memory my mother has of my grandmother and, to a certain extent, mine too, in a way. Regardless, eventually things reached a boiling point for her and not long afterwards my grandfather found her swinging next to the washer/dryer. I don't know if my grandfather drove her to it, or if there were yet other things at play. Doesn't really matter now though, as cold as it may sound. As for the fallout, well, as you might imagine, it certainly fucked my mother up pretty fiercely. By and large however, my mom's had a pretty shitty life. To give just a brief rundown. Crazy mom killed herself, entire neighborhood gossiped about it for years afterwards ostracizing her in the process, asshole grandfather remarried to someone who would give the evil stepmother from Cinderella a run for her money, had an even worse stepsister who tortured her constantly, had a brother who became an angry, drunk, deadbeat piece of shit who roughed up his own grandparents to demand shelter at their home & beer money, had swastikas spray painted over her house after my grandfather gave a crazy speech at her high school about running as a communist in some election at the time, got slipped a roofie at a party once and got raped by some sleazy fucking animal (this was over a decade before either me or my brother were born, just thought I'd quickly mention that), managed to get a decent career in nuclear medicine despite having zero support from my grandfather but gave it all up when she met my equally shitty father and because she genuinely wanted to be a "stay at home mom", my father never loved her and was just looking for someone to screw, got fucked himself when me & my brother were born and despised being chained to my mother as a result, would regularly hit her plus me & my brother across the head as we were growing up (one of the few, if only, traumatic moments from my childhood fortunately), me & my brother despite both hating/disliking our father resemble him in more ways than we'd both like to admit and have each of us in our own way made our mother's life a living hell, my mother is now morbidly obese with no friends (been this way for the last 15 years) and is as much of a secluded shut-in as I am.
I just don't understand how anyone could look at all what's usually in so many lives (anguish, regret, abuse, forms of suffering that are legion irregardless of "size" etc.) and say it's worth it. The sadness in my mother's anti-fairytale life alone, unhappy ending and all, is truly overwhelming when you try to take it all in. It's just that, why do so many people, including her, feel the need to perpetuate this? This waking nightmare? Where's there's so, so much pain, with so little happiness, so little of anything good to justify the constant misery. What I've listed doesn't even cover half of the shit that's happened around here, but whatever. I suppose, I've said enough already. Besides it's all rhetorical questions anyway, since it's the DNA daemon in all of us pulling the strings. Source of all evil and woe rendering all living things organic wind-up toys, making most of us go round & round in senseless, useless circles before we proceed to then turn the crank on another mindless wind-up toy so they can do the exact same thing. Asking why would people perpetuate the life trap is like asking why the wind-up toy goes in a circle. That just what it does. It's a machine enslaved by its sadistic design. Oh well, though. All been said before.
Anyway, my great-grand-uncle (on my mother's side, once again) drank himself to death with the intent of ending his own life (Leaving Las Vegas style), so I guess that's another suicide in my family's past that bears mentioning.
Our former next door neighbor's son also shot himself in their basement about 25 years ago when I was just a toddler. It used to really creep me out as a kid, but nowadays, as you might guess, I feel nothing, but envy and admiration. As far as I know, he was in his thirties and living with them (his parents) at the time when he checked out. Eerily similar circumstances to me. I can only hope I'll follow suit, but I won't hold my breath. It does remind me of a little anecdote of mine though. I can still remember the day (a number of years after it had happened) when the neighbor's wife came storming over here after she saw one of our cats shitting in her flowerbed. I watched from the nearby window, as she started giving my mother hell while calling her all sorts of nasty things. In one of her responses back, my mother made a rather cutting remark about this woman's former parenting skills which, admittedly, was quite uncalled for (especially given what she had been through herself). Afterwards the neighbor just stood there speechless before abruptly slapping my mother clean across the face just about knocking her over. Funny now that the shoe's on the other foot, as they say. It'd certainly be extra fitting/ironic if I were to finally kill myself, having just said all that, but I really don't think my mother deserves it. Not that I really care at the end of the day, since I'd gladly die right this second assuming I could be magically granted the constitution necessary to do so. Again though, the meat grinder just keeps churning away. It's profoundly depressing enough as it is knowing, from what I've heard recently, that my brother is well on his way to continuing this maddening cycle, that started all the way back with what I've described with my grandmother, is just going to keep rolling along creating more victims, more trauma, more suffering, more general awfulness (etc. etc.) Just another reiterative motion of the pain train. Philip Larkin summed up the predicament quite well, for what it's worth.
This Be The Verse:
I just don't understand how anyone could look at all what's usually in so many lives (anguish, regret, abuse, forms of suffering that are legion irregardless of "size" etc.) and say it's worth it. The sadness in my mother's anti-fairytale life alone, unhappy ending and all, is truly overwhelming when you try to take it all in. It's just that, why do so many people, including her, feel the need to perpetuate this? This waking nightmare? Where's there's so, so much pain, with so little happiness, so little of anything good to justify the constant misery. What I've listed doesn't even cover half of the shit that's happened around here, but whatever. I suppose, I've said enough already. Besides it's all rhetorical questions anyway, since it's the DNA daemon in all of us pulling the strings. Source of all evil and woe rendering all living things organic wind-up toys, making most of us go round & round in senseless, useless circles before we proceed to then turn the crank on another mindless wind-up toy so they can do the exact same thing. Asking why would people perpetuate the life trap is like asking why the wind-up toy goes in a circle. That just what it does. It's a machine enslaved by its sadistic design. Oh well, though. All been said before.
Anyway, my great-grand-uncle (on my mother's side, once again) drank himself to death with the intent of ending his own life (Leaving Las Vegas style), so I guess that's another suicide in my family's past that bears mentioning.
Our former next door neighbor's son also shot himself in their basement about 25 years ago when I was just a toddler. It used to really creep me out as a kid, but nowadays, as you might guess, I feel nothing, but envy and admiration. As far as I know, he was in his thirties and living with them (his parents) at the time when he checked out. Eerily similar circumstances to me. I can only hope I'll follow suit, but I won't hold my breath. It does remind me of a little anecdote of mine though. I can still remember the day (a number of years after it had happened) when the neighbor's wife came storming over here after she saw one of our cats shitting in her flowerbed. I watched from the nearby window, as she started giving my mother hell while calling her all sorts of nasty things. In one of her responses back, my mother made a rather cutting remark about this woman's former parenting skills which, admittedly, was quite uncalled for (especially given what she had been through herself). Afterwards the neighbor just stood there speechless before abruptly slapping my mother clean across the face just about knocking her over. Funny now that the shoe's on the other foot, as they say. It'd certainly be extra fitting/ironic if I were to finally kill myself, having just said all that, but I really don't think my mother deserves it. Not that I really care at the end of the day, since I'd gladly die right this second assuming I could be magically granted the constitution necessary to do so. Again though, the meat grinder just keeps churning away. It's profoundly depressing enough as it is knowing, from what I've heard recently, that my brother is well on his way to continuing this maddening cycle, that started all the way back with what I've described with my grandmother, is just going to keep rolling along creating more victims, more trauma, more suffering, more general awfulness (etc. etc.) Just another reiterative motion of the pain train. Philip Larkin summed up the predicament quite well, for what it's worth.
This Be The Verse:
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chronicpainnomore
Not Circling the Drain Anymore
- May 31, 2018
- 310
I'm a 911 dispatcher, so I've heard more people CTB than I can count. I've always done my job and tried to talk them down, but most of them, the 911 call wasn't to try to get talked out of it, it was just to let someone know.
And no, having to deal with all that isn't the reason I'm ready to CTB. See my post about my situation.
And no, having to deal with all that isn't the reason I'm ready to CTB. See my post about my situation.
El Topo
(---)
- Apr 21, 2018
- 478
Hi, can you tell us more about what exactly happens after someone CTBs? Who is contacted first? Paramedics? Police? What is the standard procedure for handling dead bodies?
One of the main concerns that people here have is making sure that they aren't discovered too soon and rescued by the authorities before dying. If you could provide any information, it would be much appreciated.
By the way, what were the most common methods for the people you've heard CTB?
chronicpainnomore
Not Circling the Drain Anymore
- May 31, 2018
- 310
First of all, I work in a rural county, so what I say will likely not apply in many other jurisdictions. Where I am, police are always the first to go. Even if the ambulance arrives first, it will "stage" in the area until police go in and secure the scene. This is for the safety of the EMT's. You'd be amazed what the other people on the scene (family and/or friends) are capable of in moments of shock and grief. Once the scene is secure, the EMT's will come in, and if it's a definite DOA, they'll go ahead and call for the coroner. From my perspective, that's it until the ambulance radios in they're transporting to the morgue.
All but one of my calls were gunshots. I live in a rural red state, so it goes without saying guns are the primary mode. I had one hanging, and being in a rural place with long response times, he had long enough to CTB before first responders arrived.
Knowing what I know, if you're using a method other than gun, like hanging, gas, OD, etc. You're going to want to have some way to delay that call or txt because the job of 911/police/EMT's is to get there ASAP and "save" you. And that could mean you end up in a vegetative state or something if they're Johnny On the Spot.
When I CTB with nitrogen/Exit Bag, it's really going to throw these hicks for a loop because they'll never have seen it. I'll have to leave a detailed note explaining it.
I hope this helps. I'll be glad to answer any more questions as long as I'm here.
El Topo
(---)
- Apr 21, 2018
- 478
lol that's so fucked-up but hilarious at the same time
AveryConure
Some idiot
- May 11, 2018
- 437
Had a great grandfather commit suicide back in the Great Depression. Heard rumors he may have been bipolar but my dad never shared any more details so who really knows.
A kid from my high school also committed suicide by getting run over by a train. Even when I was still in HS I just thought he was lucky cause I've tried to run in front of a train but either chickened out or saw some kids nearby and didn't want to traumatize them.
A kid from my high school also committed suicide by getting run over by a train. Even when I was still in HS I just thought he was lucky cause I've tried to run in front of a train but either chickened out or saw some kids nearby and didn't want to traumatize them.
anna
downfall
- Mar 18, 2018
- 441
My great-grandfather also committed suicide by hanging himself. Although I do not know the reasons.
It seems that my father found him.
chronicpainnomore
Not Circling the Drain Anymore
- May 31, 2018
- 310
See, I think that is unforgivable. The only hangup I have with all this is my family. It's bad enough what my CTB will do to them, just from me leaving. But I could never let them have a chance of finding my body.
I wouldn't feel safe unless I had AK 7.62 rounds or higher caliber weapon.
anna
downfall
- Mar 18, 2018
- 441
I do not know if it was an accidental discovery or not. (Maybe he should not be there at that moment ... I do not know)
He never told us the details.
But I agree to try to avoid this.
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,043
1 from high school … possibly 2. (Not sure about the second)
Also 2 other people that I knew.
The first was a shock … back then I felt guilty. We weren't close but I wondered for awhile if I could have done something to stop him had we been closer.
I get the irony (If that is the right word) now that I really want to end it. Even though I have wanted to die since I was a teenager.
There were times I wanted to die less than I do now … I was an idiot for thinking it would get better.
The second was someone that I used to hang out with occasionally. I'm not totally sure it was suicide, I didn't ask the family after I found out.
I wasn't aware he had died until after the funeral. I know he had struggled with mental problems in the past.
Also 2 other people that I knew.
The first was a shock … back then I felt guilty. We weren't close but I wondered for awhile if I could have done something to stop him had we been closer.
I get the irony (If that is the right word) now that I really want to end it. Even though I have wanted to die since I was a teenager.
There were times I wanted to die less than I do now … I was an idiot for thinking it would get better.
The second was someone that I used to hang out with occasionally. I'm not totally sure it was suicide, I didn't ask the family after I found out.
I wasn't aware he had died until after the funeral. I know he had struggled with mental problems in the past.
