GAKitty

GAKitty

Member
May 3, 2019
24
I can relate. The only person I would ever talk to about anything is this apathetic therapist. She just sits their nodding the entire time when I'm talking about how much I hate myself and how everything would be better if I wasn't alive since at least then I don't have to torture myself everyday by living. She just didn't care and would have this nonchalant look on her face. I would feel like shit every time I leave her office, so I stopped seeing her. Now I don't have anybody either.
 
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StillWaiting

StillWaiting

Need cats to comfort me
Jul 28, 2018
550
I can relate. The only person I would ever talk to about anything is this apathetic therapist. She just sits their nodding the entire time when I'm talking about how much I hate myself and how everything would be better if I wasn't alive since at least then I don't have to torture myself everyday by living. She just didn't care and would have this nonchalant look on her face. I would feel like shit every time I leave her office, so I stopped seeing her. Now I don't have anybody either.
It is sad how the so called treatment that everyone wants people like us to go for rather than allowing us to ctb in a less painful method are like that. Instead of getting actual help to get back ourselves, we feel even more out of place.
 
F

Felicità

Member
May 1, 2019
13
I can relate. The only person I would ever talk to about anything is this apathetic therapist. She just sits their nodding the entire time when I'm talking about how much I hate myself and how everything would be better if I wasn't alive since at least then I don't have to torture myself everyday by living. She just didn't care and would have this nonchalant look on her face. I would feel like shit every time I leave her office, so I stopped seeing her. Now I don't have anybody either.
Sadly that's probably a typical behavior for most therapists, if they take every patient too seriously, they will end up being here as while. Yesterday I managed to get out and meet with a therapist. She's trying to show sympathy, told me to read a self-help "breaking bad behavior " book and made sure I left her place exactly on time (I was impressed, since to be on time is a miracle here in Italy).
Being in difficult really offers a good chance to see true colors of people around us, they will care as far as it won't affect their own lives. When you are in a good or fixable state, they will be there. Once your situation is hopeless, party over and no one really cares. Though they will probably come back for funeral and express how much they have cared.
 
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Tabbyql

Tabbyql

Chronic people pleaser
Mar 13, 2019
282
Yes I do, but I don't want to be a burden. I did tell them things for a whille but, I felt super guilty and now this person is going through some major crap at the moment. He as been relying on me for support lately So I just tell him I'm ok he doesn't need my head f***ery.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,856
I don't really have someone i can really talk to, especially about CTB'ing because I will at best be showered with platitudes and lose the privacy I have, and worst, I could be locked up against my will for suicide ideation (depending on how authorities and people take it, especially in this anti-choice Orwellian society we live in today) and planning. As for other topics, it depends on what it is, but more often than not, I don't have enough people I trust to talk about it nor people who won't try to dissuade, dismiss, or drop platitudes on me.
 
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Rn110bg101

Rn110bg101

I want to go home
Apr 18, 2019
412
i used to talk about my depression with my "friend", but after i realized that their mood was fragile and i was both destroying our "friendship", and actually making them feel like crap, i stopped.

as for the suicide thoughts, i could never talk to them about it (even if they weren't hurt by it) because i know they'd either 1) give me cliché pro-life talk (and potentially call the police), or 2) have a mental breakdown.

so, no, i just have random strangers on the internet now.

edit: sorry, i didn't notice how old this thread was.
can delete this if you wanna.
 
not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
Could be worse OP. You could be surrounded by people proclaiming they want to help you, who only really want to kick you when you're down.
To experience this for yourself, just seek mental healthcare, anywhere; they are all the same.
 
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Mort

Mort

No use to know one
Feb 15, 2019
622
I did have sum one thought she was very special but turn out she was not . We bin friends for about 7 years then one day she just stop replying to my texts. Even try to ring her nothing all wrote sum letters to her but still no reply. So now i given up on people in my opinion they all can go and fuck them selfs. I apologise to anyone on here if that upset them but thats how i fell at the moment dont trust any one any more not even my parents. They betrayed me by accident or on purpose dont matter any more i just keep everything to myself these days and its slowly frying my brain. One dsy soon i think going to walk out of this house and never come back most likely i be ctb and hope no one finds me just let me rot in peace. :|
 
Bulletwbttrflywings

Bulletwbttrflywings

My soul is awakened... and I’m f*cked
May 29, 2019
244
Not except for the people who grace this forum. Not a soul knows.
 
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blanketyblk

blanketyblk

Mage
Jun 9, 2019
575
Everyone who knew me in real life has passed on. so only have my councilor now and that is not great either to tell you the true. just glad my cat is a good listener at least she hasn't tried to jump out of a window yet :-)
 
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Quinlor

Quinlor

The stranger
Feb 21, 2019
1,058
I have closed friends that helps me but I know they have their own life and bothered them and in the end I will be alone... And it's the perfect scenario to -_- ctb
 
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StillWaiting

StillWaiting

Need cats to comfort me
Jul 28, 2018
550
Everyone who knew me in real life has passed on. so only have my councilor now and that is not great either to tell you the true. just glad my cat is a good listener at least she hasn't tried to jump out of a window yet :-)
I wish I can have a cat but I know the cat deserve a better owner
 
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RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,202
I don't have anyone to talk to IRL. And I wouldn't want it - the guilt of inflicting myself on someone would be too much to bear. Hell, it's often too much over here, a place where I lower pretty much all my defenses.
 
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Leesap

Leesap

Member
Jul 5, 2019
43
No. I am completely isolated.
 
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J

justanotherday

Specialist
Jul 22, 2019
397
No matter how hard I try to blend in with a group of people , I will always be left out eventually.
I don't have anyone who I feel comfortable enough to talk to whenever things get even horrible than before.
I always see people who talk about how bad their lives at least have someone to turn to or have some sort of talent to justify the bad things that happened in their lives.
I just have nothing. I am tired of having false hopes in everything.
I find that nobody really wants to hear about my problems, like they cannot be bothered. So, I say, screw them.
 
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nothingleft

nothingleft

Member
Sep 1, 2019
91
My best friend and I called each other sisters, and we helped save each others lives when one of us was at the point of giving up. She's gone now, and that hurts too much to even really process.
 
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Beautifulletdown

Beautifulletdown

Brightburn
Jul 6, 2019
231
I use to but not anymore. I really have no one.
 
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