Help How do you know if you have a crush

[cptsdfugue]

I'm asking here because mostly everyone else here is suicidal and has struggled with mental illness to some degree.

I met this really nice girl online literally less than a week ago, on Wednesday or was it Tuesday? Anyways I met her and we clicked really, really well, I've been spending a few hours per day talking to her and the more I know about her the more I want to get to know her more

I have a hard time feeling attraction or confirming attraction to people, and I have BPD, but I'm not sure if I have a crush on her or not…? For starters, it's only been a few days, and I don't know everything about her (though really, some people just get crushes from how pretty someone is), I don't even know her real name and face. Also the fact I have BPD and autism, maybe I just want to get to know her better…? And I'm on stimulants right now so maybe that's making me more excitable than usual?

I don't know. I click really well with her and I feel like, this might be a bad thing to say, if I knew her in real life maybe I would date her. But I don't know if "date" to me means spend a lot of time together, or…

Ughhhh this is just so confusing. I *think* I've had crushes in the past, but I've never really been able to confirm it and just

How do you even confirm if you have a crush or not? I just feel like I'm deluding myself into believing that I love her, because of my whole "I have zero identity" thing, and also because I want to be loved by a woman (I'm lesbian) so, so badly…

ALSO adding onto this: she said she might have feelings for me so I'm not sure if I'm gaslighting myself because she has feelings…?

 

[SASU-KE]

So you met her five days ago and you're already having feelings for her?You also say you have BPD. BPD is known to create intensely fluctuating feelings for others.

It's apparent you're excited and I don't want to burst your bubble but this is too fast and you need to slow down. Turn it into a friendship and go from there.Give it more time.

 

[GASLIGHTER7000]

i can entirely understand this feeling, i do the exact same thing. i tend to put people on a pedestal and consider them my saviour or someone perfect when i first meet them and- and feel incredibly attracted to them. i think about all their good traits and how perfect they are for me, seeing them in a glorified light. i try to keep this in mind though.

it's good you're self aware and contemplating whether your bpd plays a part in this- i'd suggest you slow down and put any thoughts about a relationship on hold until you know this person better. i think it's quite important to wait since you said yourself there's a few factors influencing you liking her. personally, i latched onto my current fp because i was lonely- and he we clicked really well despite meeting eachother in public randomly just by concidence. even though we had just met, it wasn't awkward and our personalities meshed together well. i found myself idolizing him only within hours of talking to him... so i try to acknowledge these factors as apart of why i attatch to someone.

nonetheless, someone you click well with doesn't come by super often. so i'd suggest after some consideration and analyzing of your emotions, as well as her- you should pursue it. i wouldn't say there isn't really a way to confirm if you have a "crush", if you see her as a suitable partner/someone you'd potentially date then yeah you have a "crush" on her. maybe think about what you like about her specifically? the fact that you click? or is it something else?

 

[Pluto]

 

[cptsdfugue]

Thanks so much guys! I'm doing what you all suggested and taking it slow, I think I have feelings for her as she does for me but we've agreed to take it slow until she gets over her ex and we're in a more healthy mental state, taking the time to make sure we know each others' boundaries. I don't think of her as my savior, and I don't expect her to solve all of my issues, I will pursue it but not immediately :)