Honestly, I'm not even 100% sure what I have other than autism, ADHD, and depression. I've suspected NPD, but I haven't pursued diagnosis yet. My therapist has also speculated I might have bipolar II.
Out of everything, I'm the most 'fine with' being autistic. Like, it can suck shit, don't get me wrong, but it's not the reason I'm suicidal, so I can live with it. Plus, my special interest actually makes me want to live.
NPD is like, eh??? If I had the choice, yes, I'd want to be cured, but I don't think it makes me suicidal (other than the very low self-esteem). I think the best way to describe it is FOMO, I'm jealous that other people just have the inherent ability to be 'human.' Like, experiencing stuff like love, connection, empathy, emotions normally. Some people are genuinely kind, and I wonder what that's like, to act with literally no ulterior motives. To me, it's a kind of blissful ignorance I'll never get to experience.
ADHD, depression, and possibly bipolar yes. Having untreated ADHD fucked me over completely, depression/bipolar I don't think I even have to explain. ADHD makes me literally unable to do anything unless I'm medicated and my depression is so all-consuming that even if it is episodic/technically temporary I don't want to live with it.