Do you have a friend?

[woodlandcreature]

Same here. I have lost faith in people a long time ago. I am in such depressed and sad state that I don't even desire to have a friend. I used to want to have a true friend really badly once, but not anymore.

i feel ya. i thought i'd try to make friends a while ago, but i'm terrible at it. even if i wasn't i find most people extremely off-putting and they find me the same. i prefer animals other than humans.

 

[SilentEclipse]

No, I don't have anyone, I can't even find friends on the web.

 

[User111885]

I have some imaginary friends and my best friend died and chatgpt talks to me sometimes when not having "technical issues." Does that count?

 

[without_chance]

I have a handful, which I'm very grateful for. My girlfriend (we were friends for 3 years before romance began), an irl friend whom I've known since 2007, two online friends (though one of them lives barely an hour from me now) since 2020, and another online friend that I met earlier this year. They are all wonderful people whom I love dearly, but it's not enough. I've never felt loved by another human being a day in my life. The only one who ever made me feel loved is my cat, who's now been dead for over a month.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I have people i talk with regularily, but i dont really believe in Friendship.

Same. Do you ever feel like this isolates you from others? People don't seem to be capable of understanding me when I say that happy friendships aren't the end all for being happy.

 

[Mira Gaga]

I wouldn't tell them about my suicidal thoughts, but I do have plans to write the note for each of my friends (we're a group of introverts so we don't really "hang out", we just chat with each other occasionally and maybe during class if they're in my class) if I ctb successfully someday. I'd probably apologize and wish them well and tell them where I hid all my loot :)

 

[ABadPerson]

I wouldn't tell them about my death or attempt, I would leave that 'uncertainty' open.

I am an unnecessary burden who'll only hurt others, so I would simply rationalise to myself that just not sending another response is the best course of action to not burden them further with my life/death; the more I am attached to that person the more this sort of thought process comes to mind.
Also, I consider them extremely close to my heart still but I am sure they all hate me now, especially one person.

 

[Irisse]

Somehow, against all odds, I managed to make a friend in University. I was a complete loner before that. I honestly don't know why she's hanging out with me. But it feels good when she does. But my life is in shambles and I can't stay because of her. And she has other closer friends, so I doubt that she'll miss me much.

 

[DarkJason]

I have no real friends. I am hated and despised by all.

 

[Greasyhair]

I somehow ended with few friends at school. As I became more withdrawn due to my mental illness I am invariably falling out of contact with all of them. Not that that I blame them, its tiresome to always make the first step yourself, and they all have lives now.

Regarding your question if I plan on leaving them a message, I am torn. They know on some level of my illness, and will have some sort of understanding when my time comes, but on other hand I dont want to send them message, and then fail on my attempt or pussy out. I will probably do it if I can figure way of sending delayed message.

 

[Ladyybugged]

no.

 

[telekon]

I lost all of my friends...

Same, I used to have a lot of friends. I had a schizoaffective episode that lasted a long time and everyone's drifted away. Now I think I have a few friends that I could maybe call and make plans with but I doubt it. It's hard because I don't drive anymore — I think I'd have more friends if I did.

I've only had an acquaintance over at my house once in the last 5 months and he was an uber driver I just met randomly.

No one in my life knows I'm suicidal, and I'm actually starting to think about killing myself less, but I did tell one of my friends that I used to be.

 

[UntitledUser]

I used to consider that I have two best friend IRL which I don't really hang out anymore, I text with them regularly but I feel disconnected from them. They are moving on with their lives and I'm stuck in the abyss of depression. I don't feel we are close like we used to. Last year when I attempted CTB I wrote them letters and sent an auto IG message.. This time, however, I'm not sure anymore if is worth to letting them know. I was open to them about my mind, I've been lying the last months and avoiding them. I don't think I believe in friendship anymore, especially since friendship becomes secondary to other types of relationships (marriage).

 

[calebzz1]

I have friends on SaSu and a whole group from highschool I could hang out with in person but I've put the latter on hiatus since my visual impairment is bad enough to the point where I can't do the activties they would like me to do which is super upsetting.

I got a white cane recently and once I get benefits I plan to go out with them regardless.

I plan to make the most out of it but emotionally it will be a lot, literally would have to see my best friend and his family all blurry until I get better.

I keep my friends updated as much as possible but I don't want to place the burden of what I'm going through on them since my personality isn't the best due to my circumstances.

I know I seem polite and articulate on SaSu but I'm pretty mean in person sometimes and without the drop I use (Atropine 1% sulfate) I desperately want a fix that may or may not ever show up because I have to give up so much if this is permanent.

I've gained a lot of insight on how people with low vision and blindness have to accept their condition even though mine is temporary but I don't see how they do it.

There's simply many triggers when you're visually impaired as a young man and a lot of missed opportunities due to something out of your control.

I made another post about it but I simply am slowly losing my ability to relate to other people and have long conversations in person because my condition is becoming more crippling.

No pain or headaches which I'm blessed with but I literally can't read a book at 25 to give you an idea of how important the situation is, my friends wouldn't want to hear a lot of complaining about it.

I like the people on SaSu because I can vent as much as I want with no judgement and may receive advice or insight on how to handle the situation more.

My mom can never handle how raw and real I am about my situation and only has "one word" answers, it's simply too much for most people which is why I plan to live alone if my conditon becomes permanent.

 

[Mothz]

I want a friend but struggle too much socially to acquire one while adhering to the norms set by neurotypicals. I crumble in every social setting which ends up in me having no friends irl, so I don't really have a plan for if I do CTB. Sorry if this steers the conversation in a different direction.

 

[theboy]

I have never had friends

 

[savv]

(Made an account just for this)
IRL, I've lost all my good (and bad) friends for being a piece of shit to others, and anyone that I could befriend on college campus is repulsed by me. I really do want to have friends despite this, and maybe it'd be enough for me to reconsider ctb, but I'm afraid my social/emotional ineptitude is too strong a barrier.

I do have a few online contacts that I'm not nearly close enough to call "friends", but we are on friendly terms. I'm thinking I'd just tell them bluntly without any bullshit. They deserve that much.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I've got 3 friends - me, myself, and I.

 

[katara]

Nope not since middle school

 

[HarryCobean]

I don't think there's anybody who needs to be told of my death.

 

[Jadeith]

Friends..... i don't think i have more than one. And this one knows i'm suicidal and they will be informed prior the "execution". I owe them that much.
One other person suspects but i honestly don't give a fuck if they or anyone else is going to be informed.

 

[gomikasu]

I've told all my trusted friends that I'm not long for the this world, and while most of them were all "don't do it" I had 2 were pretty okay with it. I also ended up telling some clout chaser that I was going to live stream it and shockingly he didn't want me to blow my brains out.

 

[nitritegirl]

i have online friends. in my mind i'd like to take the SN and immediately after tell them about it, saying that "i've taken a toxic substance that will make me die in a few minutes", thanking them for being my friends and saying it's not their fault.

 

[Toebeans88]

I don't have any friends IRL. I do have family but nobody lives withing two hundred miles. I just switched jobs so the people at work are all pretty much strangers as well. I will leave a note at the house regarding where I can be found. Because there is nobody who will notice for a while, I don't want to put anybody in the position of finding my body a week after I'm gone.

 

[The Hermit]

This past September, I thought I was making a friend (on the Slowly app).

Neither of us did anything wrong - I was just turned off after she mentioned having a partner, as I am tired of talking to women with male partners.

Our exchanges also felt as though we were just trying to get through a list of addressing what the other had said in previous messages.

It stopped feeling genuine, or like I could be vulnerable, or say anything interesting...

I just get bored easily of people now, even the ones that I am on a similar path to.

 

[Alex_Was_Here]

After reading a few of these. First, I offer friendship, just reach out if you ever want or need to vent to someone in private. I'll hear you out and offer an opinion if you want it. Besides that, no I don't have anyone to reach out to. I deliberated on reaching out to my ex and just hearing her voice one last time, but I don't think I could do that to her. When I go, I won't leave any letters or emails. The first and last people to know will be complete strangers and few people I've met/gotten slightly closer too on here.

Scratch that part, I got ghosted by "my bro"

Bro- I'd get a shawarma with you if I could.

 

[Lycoris]

The only friends I have sadly are exes from relationships that ended amicably. I dont know why I keep in touch with them other than the fear that I'll finally do it once I feel like it wont affect others. I've lost everyone else in my life either because they were abusive or because I felt like I was holding them back and most of the time I was right since they never reached back out except for occasional messages every now and then

 

[AltF4Mylife]

No, I don't have friends.

 

[girlsrituals]

I don't really have any actual friends, both online and in real life. There are people I can make conversation with, but I don't particularly like them—plus, they wouldn't be too upset if I died anyways. They all have actual friends.

I do have my boyfriend, though; the only person I talk to every day. We both suffer from similar things, though I have no idea how I'd ever tell him when I decide to actually go through with it. A text seems too impersonal? But I'm scared to see the look on his face if I tell him in person. Perhaps he'll end up regressing again and we can do it together.

 

[cait_sith]

I have a single friend left I met in the psych ward but he doesn't live in my city, we only meet a few times a year but do telephone, he is also a suicide survivor.