Do you have a friend?

[Surek]

So, today I came across this post: [https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ive-lost-a-friend-on-this-site.220218] (sorry, buddy), and it got me thinking. I'm sure some of you have a friend you talk to, who knows about your desire to CTB. Maybe they are planning it too, but that's not the point.

How do you plan on informing them about your death? Or more precisely, how do you plan to resolve the "uncertainty"? Anything can happen, as you know.

For example, I'm planning to give my bro the contact information of a real-life guy I know. Through them, they will be able to find out if I'm alive or dead.

---

I'm creating this post because I'm interested to know what you plan to do, and what you think about this in general.

P.S: This post is mostly for those whose friendships are exclusively online.
P.S.S: Written using a translator.

 

[darksouls]

I have no social contacts in real life

 

[Zerengin96]

I have people i talk with regularily, but i dont really believe in Friendship.

 

[Leichter Kampfwagen]

I don't have any online friends, only a few IRL friends that I haven't seen in a long time. They will likely find out via my parents. They might be at the funeral.

 

[whywere]

I am 100% like @darksouls, as outside of work, no one at all ever.

In fact, what is a friend? Have not had one in so many decades that I forgot the terminology.

Walter

 

[Wishingforadream]

A few IRL friends. But not very close anymore, I couldn't bring someone else into my own affairs. Maybe I'd leave a few small messages for them but overall they would likely find out via my parents.

 

[Liebestod]

I live with my family and commute to university but I have no friends in real life or online. I only just barely socialize during labs and barely talk to people on here. I just had a long conversation that spanned almost two weeks with @crocodile man but I think he just ctb the other day. Otherwise I literally have no one.

 

[Mr. Snrub]

No online friends since the days of MSN messenger. My IRL friends I would never tell about my suicidal ideation because that conversation is always a dead end.

 

[persepexa]

I would say I have one good friend irl. She invited me to her birthday party yesterday. That's when I decided I had to write her a note or a message or something letting her know. Saw another comment on this thread that some of their friends might be at their funeral. She will definitely come to mine. If she does decide to come she'll be the only non-family member there. Unfortunately I've ruined every other friendship I ever had. They won't even find out about it.

 

[Hollowman]

No

 

[azo]

there is one person I could unequivocally call a friend—the only one outside of here who (truly) knows about and respects my suicidality (and has made clear he wouldn't try to stop me from making that decision even though he wants me to recover).

He once told me he didn't know whether it would be worse to never hear from me again and never know what happened, or to get a suicide note/text from me (being an online friend). I would probably opt for the latter though; it would be a delayed Discord message. I don't like uncertainty.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'll likely make a scheduled goodbye here. My closest friends are in my will so, my solicitor will contact them. I also plan to (delayed) email my notes to my solicitor so, hopefully they will pass them on too. As for family, I'm hoping that one person will spread the news. There are bound to be more distant people who won't find out directly. I suppose the lack of Christmas cards over the years will make them wonder.

I've had to go detective in the past on friends who didn't reply. Not because of suicide but, more likely natural death. I'm not sure families bother so much these days. My family would ring around when there was a death but, it must be pretty upsetting to do.

 

[Spite]

No. I will never be valued as a friend by anybody. I am truly worthless.

 

[SpencerSees]

I think they know. If they are not completely clueless (which I know they aren't), they know that I most likely will die very soon. I partly share these desires, perhaps not to the true degree, but they definitely know they are their. If I one day stop showing, they'll have a pretty good idea what happened. Either got killed by a client but most likely killed myself. Either way, they'll definitely know I'm gone through my parents. When I was younger, I wrote many goodbye notes, but I find the janky now. A simple it's not your fault will do.

 

[vira]

P.S: This post is mostly for those whose friendships are online

i will send a scheduled email telling them im dead, probably giving my full name for obituary. i only really have one long distance friend, and either way everyone in my life will be upset so i dont care too much about explaining anything. i will be dead anyway.

 

[EmptyBottle]

I have several friends I regularly talk to online, and as for in person, a handful who also visit the community group on Saturday evenings, tho no other in person chats with friends until then.

 

[eternalpace]

When I was last on this site several years ago, I connected with someone really well... and over the course of a few months, we shared a lot of information about what we planned to do, how, when, etc. Then and now, I'm generally not trusting of people so this connection was a bit unusual for me. When my attempts (plural) failed, I stopped coming here and we lost contact. This time around, I will fly solo... My method is much more reliable and quicker... and I'd rather not run the risk of someone not being who they say they are... a cop, a bad actor, etc.

 

[otoyikim]

I used to have two from high school but ever since i have reevaluated who i am i have concluded that i don't deserve to be around them.

The only friends i have are my colleauges at uni, which is a shame because despite coming to terms with the piece of shit i am, it's still going to be painful for them to come to terms with my death, regardless of when it happens.

 

[My_name_is_Luka]

unfortunately not. I'm treated as trash continuously. Abused at work; emotionally manipulated by people I try to relate to; I've been even sexually abused twice.
Whenever I try to relate to a person, after some time I open up, especially if I see them getting closer and trying to relate to me. And I talk about my despair for all the abuse I've been through.
Well, they escape.
I'm always polite and gentle. I try to offer other people something that can make them feel welcome. I offered to bring the last person to gym and then have lunch together. I got rejected 3 days before the appointment with the excuse "I don't see how I could enjoy spending my time with you. I know it will hurt after all you have gone through".

And then they try to destroy this group? Society is so selfish that when it sees a depressed person, it runs away and it further push them closer to the edge.

I was feeling decently fine and I was gaining some courage to start interacting again with people.
And now they have pushed me back toward the edge of the cliff, looking down into the abyss.

 

[corpse]

I don't have any friends.

 

[darkizz]

No friends no problem

 

[Hangman.]

I lost all of my friends...

 

[Macedonian1987]

I have Asperger's and I never had a singe real friend in my entire 38 years on this earth. I had people who I thought that they were my friends. But they were just using me for favors or for money.

 

[Michelstaedter]

My only friends were some animals and they already died (my beloved rabbits).

 

[Macedonian1987]

My only friends were some animals and they already died (my beloved rabbits).

My only friends were also animals. Stray dogs mostly. We have hundreds of stray dogs in the city in which I live in, and some of them are truly my friends. They jump at me out of joy when they see me, and they wag their tails.

 

[batmanreal]

i had some, but they've all essentially left me. i've given up on that kind of thing, everyone will leave in the end. i'm just not worth keeping around.

 

[L1feless]

never really had any friends..

 

[Alice.]

irl i have a boyfriend, but no friends. online i had to lose all of my online friends, but a couple days ago i met EternalShore on here and i consider her to be a friend :3

 

[woodlandcreature]

no friends online or irl. i dont think i believe in friendship anymore

 

[Macedonian1987]

no friends online or irl. i dont think i believe in friendship anymore

Same here. I have lost faith in people a long time ago. I am in such depressed and sad state that I don't even desire to have a friend. I used to want to have a true friend really badly once, but not anymore.