Do you hate yourself or just life in general?

[FuneralCry]

This is the way I feel I don't relate to so many, I only hate life and I don't hate myself in any way, I hate how I was burdened with the ability to exist and I believe I deserve better than existence, I deserve the peace of eternal nothingness because to me existence itself is the true problem, it's an imposistion, an hellish abomination and an unnecessary harm.

Simply being conscious and aware is a curse to me and I'm always thinking about how tragic it was how life even evolved at all, like why does life even have to exist when the absence of everything is perfection. I despise existence as it only causes meaningless suffering and problems there was never a need for, existence is completely useless and also just so unnecessary.

To me non-existence will always be preferable as those who no longer exist cannot mourn for how they lack the ability to suffer yet there is no limit as to how torturous existing can get and I simply don't wish to suffer just to risk experiencing way worse suffering at any moment, yet ceasing to exist solves everything, brings peace from all current suffering and removes any possibilities to suffer in the future. Existence is just evil to me, I'm not the problem but rather existence is.

And unlike many other suicidal people I'm not into self harm, I'm already harmed enough simply by existing and I don't wish for harm, I only wish for the absence of everything, it sounds so beautiful to never be able to think or feel ever again. But overall I only hate existence as existence itself is the ultimate source of my suffering, I was just unfortunate enough to be forced into existence, it's really sad how humans procreate, I wish they just wouldn't as it'd prevent so much pain caused by existing.

 

[sserafim]

I hate life, other people and society. I don't hate myself. Why would I?

 

[unabletocope]

I don't hate myself but I do wish I had been tougher in my life, I think that's the reason I've hit my breaking point

 

[sserafim]

I don't hate myself but I do wish I had been tougher in my life, I think that's the reason I've hit my breaking point

I wish I were tougher and more resilient as well. Sadly, I'm too soft and sheltered for the harsh realities of life. I'm not persistent enough to try to fight an uphill battle/losing game.

 

[KafkaF]

This is the way I feel I don't relate to so many, I only hate life and I don't hate myself in any way, I hate how I was burdened with the ability to exist and I believe I deserve better than existence, I deserve the peace of eternal nothingness because to me existence itself is the true problem, it's an imposistion, an hellish abomination and an unnecessary harm.

Simply being conscious and aware is a curse to me and I'm always thinking about how tragic it was how life even evolved at all, like why does life even have to exist when the absence of everything is perfection. I despise existence as it only causes meaningless suffering and problems there was never a need for, existence is completely useless and also just so unnecessary.

To me non-existence will always be preferable as those who no longer exist cannot mourn for how they lack the ability to suffer yet there is no limit as to how torturous existing can get and I simply don't wish to suffer just to risk experiencing way worse suffering at any moment, yet ceasing to exist solves everything, brings peace from all current suffering and removes any possibilities to suffer in the future. Existence is just evil to me, I'm not the problem but rather existence is.

And unlike many other suicidal people I'm not into self harm, I'm already harmed enough simply by existing and I don't wish for harm, I only wish for the absence of everything, it sounds so beautiful to never be able to think or feel ever again. But overall I only hate existence as existence itself is the ultimate source of my suffering, I was just unfortunate enough to be forced into existence, it's really sad how humans procreate, I wish they just wouldn't as it'd prevent so much pain caused by existing.

I'm pretty much the opposite as you.

I think life and the world is actually pretty fascinating and potentially great. I think there's so many incredible things in the world that can be done, seen, learned, experienced, etc. I just hate how my life turned out and I hate myself.

 

[Alex Fermentopathy]

I hate my (presumably genetic) disease. My disease is a part of me, so it turns out I hate myself to some extent, if that can be said so. But not my personality in general.

 

[leloyon]

Both.

 

[heisenberg]

both, i hate myself and hate life. id hate life less if i didn't have to grow old and eventually get weak. we'll all suffer at one point or another

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Rather people, but not everyone

 

[iloverachel]

I hate life
I hate the way my brain overthinks about everything negative in the world
I hate my mind for torturing myself every day
Don't really hate myself though

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I hate life, not myself. Life is the reason why I'm suffering. I'm suffering because I exist in this cruel and harsh life. I'm anti suffering and I believe that any form of suffering is bad for me even if it's small. If I were to hate myself, then logically I should be wishing more pain and suffering upon myself as I should be thinking that I don't deserve peace. However, no, I do deserve peace and I think that I deserve peace even if family members would oppose that idea. I never asked to be in this world so why should I be suffering for it?

I'm anti suffering for myself, not pro suffering. I want to be dead because I deserve peace, not because I deserve the cessation of peace - I've seen many people who hate themselves say they want to kill themselves because they don't deserve the beauty of life but my mindset is directly opposite to theirs. I want to kill myself because I don't deserve the cruelty of life and because I don't deserve to suffer. I deserve peace and I will stand by that

 

[sserafim]

I'm pretty much the opposite as you.

I think life and the world is actually pretty fascinating and potentially great. I think there's so many incredible things in the world that can be done, seen, learned, experienced, etc. I just hate how my life turned out and I hate myself.

How the world is structured sucks though. Everyone has to be a slave to society and capitalism in order to survive. I wish that we didn't have to become slaves to the system, and instead were free to pursue our own interests and hobbies.

 

[gotomrg]

definitely myself. i wish i could be anyone but me. other people seem to be suceeding in this thing called life. thanks to them i know that it can be joyful and worth living. but not in my case. i've tried everything and it just doesn't seem to work with me.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I hate myself a lot and for me that's a large part of why I want to ctb. I do hate life but there are also aspects to that I like and appreciate.

 

[sserafim]

id hate life less if i didn't have to grow old and eventually get weak. we'll all suffer at one point or another

I feel like there's potential for life to be great, but the reality isn't as ideal. Growing old terrifies me. Hopefully one day scientists can discover how to prevent and reverse aging

 

[4am]

personally i find life to be a cruel torture, but i don't think that i hate it per se? i just think that in my case blaming all of my problems on life would be selfish, as my problems are only my fault, and no one else's. i hate myself for being a failure and a loser

 

[uzuf86]

I don't hate life because there was once upon a time where I was truly happy and enjoying each day. Now that has become nothing but a dream. I hate myself for my actions that led me into this state

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I also don't hate myself, and in fact I quite like parts of my personality. I just think the equation of life (joy - pain) doesn't work out, and it's more rational to cut your losses as soon as you become aware of that, rather than continuing to senselessly suffer.

In my experience, this cohort of people seems to be invisible to the rest of society, and especially to psychiatry. I have sought out "professional help" before just to do my due diligence and make sure that there wasn't a glaring flaw in my logic, and I have found that they immediately group me into the "I hate myself" cohort and try to treat me for that, which is obviously ineffective because that's not my issue.

 

[4.I.2.Must.Die]

This is the way I feel I don't relate to so many, I only hate life and I don't hate myself in any way, I hate how I was burdened with the ability to exist and I believe I deserve better than existence, I deserve the peace of eternal nothingness because to me existence itself is the true problem, it's an imposistion, an hellish abomination and an unnecessary harm.

Simply being conscious and aware is a curse to me and I'm always thinking about how tragic it was how life even evolved at all, like why does life even have to exist when the absence of everything is perfection. I despise existence as it only causes meaningless suffering and problems there was never a need for, existence is completely useless and also just so unnecessary.

To me non-existence will always be preferable as those who no longer exist cannot mourn for how they lack the ability to suffer yet there is no limit as to how torturous existing can get and I simply don't wish to suffer just to risk experiencing way worse suffering at any moment, yet ceasing to exist solves everything, brings peace from all current suffering and removes any possibilities to suffer in the future. Existence is just evil to me, I'm not the problem but rather existence is.

And unlike many other suicidal people I'm not into self harm, I'm already harmed enough simply by existing and I don't wish for harm, I only wish for the absence of everything, it sounds so beautiful to never be able to think or feel ever again. But overall I only hate existence as existence itself is the ultimate source of my suffering, I was just unfortunate enough to be forced into existence, it's really sad how humans procreate, I wish they just wouldn't as it'd prevent so much pain caused by existing.

The title and parts of this post are actually sounding more human and less robotic for you @FuneralCry

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I feel like there's potential for life to be great, but the reality isn't as ideal.

I don't know, the hedonic treadmill effect makes me think that it could never be "great." You're always going to be missing something, striving after something. Then if you ever manage to get it, the goalposts will shift and you'll just move onto something else. Plus, events outside your control will always happen and bring you right back to suffering (health problems, grief, job loss, etc.)

Growing old terrifies me. Hopefully one day scientists can discover how to prevent and reverse aging

It's not just growing old that terrifies me, but having to go through menopause specifically. I might not hate myself but I do hate being female.

 

[KafkaF]

How the world is structured sucks though. Everyone has to be a slave to society and capitalism in order to survive. I wish that we didn't have to become slaves to the system, and instead were free to pursue our own interests and hobbies.

That is somewhat true. However, that is changeable. It's just that not enough people are choosing to band together and change it. And even despite that I still think there's a lot of incredible things out there. It also depends on what kind of job you get. If you get a job aligned with your passions then that's different than if you don't. There's also differences in class at how likely you can get either. And there's obviously a difference depending on where you live. If you live in some village in Africa that's controlled by the local warlord, your life is probably gonna suck. If you live in a rich Western country with a good social safety net and were born to a rich family your chances are way better.

So I'm not denying that there are systems which make people miserable or make our lives worse. What I'm saying is that there's still a lot of great stuff out there too. And there could be way more of it, if people banded together and changed the system. And I think even with that system in place, there's still plenty of good. Just less than there could and should be.

Like just watching one episode of "Firefly" can be an incredible experience to me. I don't need a bunch of money for that. I don't need months of free time for that. Just one free hour.

Or, hell, read a Wikipedia entry on the ultimate fate of the universe. It's completely fascinating how scientists have figured out all of that stuff quadrillions of years in advance. And so long as you have a computer or mobile, it's completely free and you can do it in an hour.

So, yeah, TLDR: Yes, there are systems that exist which make people's lives much worse than they need to be for the enrichment of a tiny minority. But even despite that there are still some pretty great things that can be learned, experienced, etc. too. And if people banded together and changed the system it could be even better than that.

 

[Z-A]

I'd say life because the way the existence works is just sadistic because it brings unnecessary suffering and also gives unlimited potential for living beings, especially humans, to misuse our abilities and bring tons of harm and pain to each other. I just wish that it was built differently.

 

[Kurai]

both, life is miserable and I hate myself for the problems I created

 

[sserafim]

That is somewhat true. However, that is changeable. It's just that not enough people are choosing to band together and change it. And even despite that I still think there's a lot of incredible things out there. It also depends on what kind of job you get. If you get a job aligned with your passions then that's different than if you don't. There's also differences in class at how likely you can get either. And there's obviously a difference depending on where you live. If you live in some village in Africa that's controlled by the local warlord, your life is probably gonna suck. If you live in a rich Western country with a good social safety net and were born to a rich family your chances are way better.

So I'm not denying that there are systems which make people miserable or make our lives worse. What I'm saying is that there's still a lot of great stuff out there too. And there could be way more of it, if people banded together and changed the system. And I think even with that system in place, there's still plenty of good. Just less than there could and should be.

Like just watching one episode of "Firefly" can be an incredible experience to me. I don't need a bunch of money for that. I don't need months of free time for that. Just one free hour.

Or, hell, read a Wikipedia entry on the ultimate fate of the universe. It's completely fascinating how scientists have figured out all of that stuff quadrillions of years in advance. And so long as you have a computer or mobile, it's completely free and you can do it in an hour.

So, yeah, TLDR: Yes, there are systems that exist which make people's lives much worse than they need to be for the enrichment of a tiny minority. But even despite that there are still some pretty great things that can be learned, experienced, etc. too. And if people banded together and changed the system it could be even better than that.

The issue is that people aren't banding together and changing the system. They just accept it. I wonder why this is. Personally, I live a rich Western country and was born to a rich family, but I still believe that the system is unjust and inherently exploitative. No one has tried to change it; people just resign themselves to their fate.

 

[KafkaF]

The issue is that people aren't banding together and changing the system. They just accept it. I wonder why this is. Personally, I live a rich Western country and was born to a rich family, but I still believe that the system is unjust and inherently exploitative. No one has tried to change it, people just resign themselves to their fate.

I have actually done a LOT of research into why that is because I also find it a fascinating phenomenon. It's way too much to lay out my findings here though.

I've actually considered writing a book about it before. But my depression is too bad for that, tbh.

 

[Untimely]

The issue is that people aren't banding together and changing the system. They just accept it. I wonder why this is. Personally, I live a rich Western country and was born to a rich family, but I still believe that the system is unjust and inherently exploitative. No one has tried to change it, people just resign themselves to their fate.

It's because in the Western imperial core, they benefit just enough from economic imperialism to not rise up. It's called the concept of labor aristocracy, it's more likely to be changed in the global south first as the conditions are much worse. Hopefully that makes sense lol

both, life is miserable and I hate myself for the problems I created

Relatable

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I don't have myself, I actually think I'm a good person and I can see my qualities and defects. I also don't hate life, I think life in itself is beautiful and there's a lot of beauty in the world. Animals alone are wonderful, I'd experience the grief of losing them because the good memories and the connection is worth it.

I dislike people, I think humans are the problem and the cause of suffering. I dislike how bad people get ahead in life, sometimes at the expense of good people. Humans are severely flawed.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Hopefully one day scientists can discover how to prevent and reverse aging

Hell no. I hope they don't. If they do, then people would just be forced to work for even longer. In an ideal world, sure, reversing aging would be nice. However, in the current world, it can only lead as a pathway to more torture and cruelty

 

[diytopsurgery]

I think both. Maybe life more than myself. I just can't bear the idea of finishing school, only to go into a monotonous cycle of work.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I neither hate myself nor i hate life. What I don't like are my current circumstances that are a result of other circumstances that make my life not the way I expected it to be. But that's not a reason to hate myself or life in general.