Venting Do you hate the fact that you’ve managed to exist for this long?

[CTB Dream]

Wose time always keep deteriorst no want stay wish never exist this all awful life awful crulty stay get Nothing life nothing all nonsense all awful, now what get injury damage etc all day move deteriorat vege

 

[thedaywillcome]

Absolute pain in the ass only that my SI can be happy.

 

[omlet]

I really do. I feel like I've been in this world for far too long and I'm so incredibly tired of it all. I should have left a long time ago but in reality I should had never existed at all. To me it's such a tragic thing how life even has the ability to exist in the first place as I do view non existence to be the most ideal option and always have done.
I so envy those who have their suicide planned out with a reliable method, they are the lucky ones, but sadly suicide involves risks and complications for me personally and it's beyond horrible how the world that we exist in denies us access to peaceful and reliable suicide methods.
I especially think that those who left this world at a very young age were the most lucky ones as I do believe that the more years prevented in this horrific world the better. It's such an awful thing to actually manage to reach 22 years here and I will always hate the fact that I didn't die at a much younger age. Continuing to delay our inevitable fate could never be beneficial and such a thing just leads to unnecessary problems and torment and then we will just inevitably deteriorate.

It's all so tedious as well, and from this point the amount of suffering experienced will only increase and this existence will just torture us more, so of course it fills me with dread the thought of being here for another year. It really is such an incredibly cruel thing to bring life into this world as life itself will always be the true problem no matter what people say. The existence of life is such an incredibly disturbing thing that should had never existed in the first place and I've never wanted anything to do with existing. Even one second in this world is more than enough so of course I will always hate the fact that I still exist. Pretty much every waking moment of mine is spent wishing to die.

I wish my mother had an abortion

 

[damaged_soul]

Yes I absolutely hate it so, so, so much. I have never been able to relate to the "normies" who are so happy and proud of themselves for continuing to live despite their suicidal thoughts. I hate myself for still being here after all these years. I've been suicidal since I was 9. I was supposed to be dead extremely long ago, but I am a pathetic coward who just can't bring myself to do it. Every single fucking year without fail, I'm like "this will be my last Christmas," "this will be my last birthday," etc. only to continue to stay alive. I am so fucking sick of this. I really wish there was a pro-choice therapist I could talk to who could help me overcome my anxiety about finally taking the plunge and committing suicide once and for all. But sadly, due to the stupid pro-life world we live in, the kind of therapy I need doesn't exist. I am so sick of wanting death so badly yet being too afraid to do it. I hate my body and brain for giving me survival instinct and I hate living in this shitty pro-life world where we have to resort to undignifying, horrific, and terrifying things to end our suffering.

 

[Hirokami]

If I could stop having traumatizing events occur every month or so, then I'd probably hate the fact less. Mainly because of that, I've become jaded over the past decades. Holidays don't mean much to me nor do my birthdays. Everything just feel so blah.

 

[Ineedtodie]

I shouldn't exist this long. I hate the fact that I did. And my life has no meaning or intention from the start. I was just put here to play a role no one would want. So why? No idea.
To survive. No.
To be content. No.
To be happy. No.
To whatever. No.
What's my story. Mentally ill. Condemned to suffer. Harrassed. Ignored. To be treated as mentally ill in a society that doesn't acknowledge mental illness.
and I laugh at this.
Nothing else. What to do in this case. Not much to say.

 

[thereisthemist]

"I'm sorry, I'm suicidal, leave me alone please."

 

[lionetta12]

I really do. I feel like I've been in this world for far too long and I'm so incredibly tired of it all. I should have left a long time ago but in reality I should had never existed at all. To me it's such a tragic thing how life even has the ability to exist in the first place as I do view non existence to be the most ideal option and always have done.
I so envy those who have their suicide planned out with a reliable method, they are the lucky ones, but sadly suicide involves risks and complications for me personally and it's beyond horrible how the world that we exist in denies us access to peaceful and reliable suicide methods.
I especially think that those who left this world at a very young age were the most lucky ones as I do believe that the more years prevented in this horrific world the better. It's such an awful thing to actually manage to reach 22 years here and I will always hate the fact that I didn't die at a much younger age. Continuing to delay our inevitable fate could never be beneficial and such a thing just leads to unnecessary problems and torment and then we will just inevitably deteriorate.

It's all so tedious as well, and from this point the amount of suffering experienced will only increase and this existence will just torture us more, so of course it fills me with dread the thought of being here for another year. It really is such an incredibly cruel thing to bring life into this world as life itself will always be the true problem no matter what people say. The existence of life is such an incredibly disturbing thing that should had never existed in the first place and I've never wanted anything to do with existing. Even one second in this world is more than enough so of course I will always hate the fact that I still exist. Pretty much every waking moment of mine is spent wishing to die.

Yes, i didnt plan to live this long so im confused what to do and i feel empty.