i came from a pretty conservative family and we were taught about worshiping god, heaven, hell, you know, that stuff on higher power and everything. i also studied theology as one of my major in uni bcs its the only option im left with. so naturally i have to believe those things or else when will i make practical of my studies?
so the thing is, suicide is often associated with sin and i am afraid of hell, which will be my place if i committed to the said sin. but it got me wondering, if god is all compassionate and loving, he would know i am suffering inside and why would he want me to put up with it. laawrd im not his strongest soldier.
i feel like if i ever ctb one day, i would dedicate one very earnest prayer for god to not put me in hell. i would rationalize my way of ctb to him so he would understand. what about you guys? do you believe in hell? will you guys pray for one last time like i would?