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L0nely

L0nely

I'm an idiot sandwich.
Oct 28, 2023
197
I actually just thought about it. Whenever life is going decent for too long it makes me uncomfortable. I've been pretty broken for so long that it's the only thing I'm familiar with. I find some sort of comfort in being low, like that's all I know, anything else feels almost wrong. It's almost like I don't want to get better because that would mean that I would have to get out of my comoft zone / step out of what's known to me. No clue if that makes any sense, but does any of you feel this way?
 
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Aim

Aim

🤍
Sep 12, 2023
945
I actually just thought about it. Whenever life is going decent for too long it makes me uncomfortable. I've been pretty broken for so long that it's the only thing I'm familiar with. I find some sort of comfort in being low, like that's all I know, anything else feels almost wrong. It's almost like I don't want to get better because that would mean that I would have to get out of my comoft zone / step out of what's known to me. No clue if that makes any sense, but does any of you feel this way?
Yep, every sentiment that comes up are very comforting and almost validating. Very strange!
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,309
Yes, that absolutely makes sense. Really- I think we are often inclined to just go for what we know and what seems familiar. I definitely don't want the challenge and discomfort of taking on my pessimistic thoughts and melancholy. Even the thought of suicide can be reasuring- an end to all the struggling. Of course- the actual act is different (unfortunately.)

We're not alone though. I've seen domestic violence repeat in families. A friend of mine's father was abusive and used to slap around their Mum. They grew up to be in a relationship with someone who did exactly the same thing. Patterns in life repeat- even harmful, negative ones. We go for what we know I guess.
 
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Aim

Aim

🤍
Sep 12, 2023
945
Yes, that absolutely makes sense. Really- I think we are often inclined to just go for what we know and what seems familiar. I definitely don't want the challenge and discomfort of taking on my pessimistic thoughts and melancholy. Even the thought of suicide can be reasuring- an end to all the struggling. Of course- the actual act is different (unfortunately.)

We're not alone though. I've seen domestic violence repeat in families. A friend of mine's father was abusive and used to slap around their Mum. They grew up to be in a relationship with someone who did exactly the same thing. Patterns in life repeat- even harmful, negative ones. We go for what we know I guess.
Very true, unless you are capable of breaking the cycle!
 
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ABSOLUTION

ABSOLUTION

Member
Jul 25, 2023
61
Yep, I really get what you're saying.
I get unsettled if things are starting to go well for me, because I've decided deep down that I do not deserve good things, and should undo it at any cost to restore the status quo.
The misery I confine myself to is unpleasant, but it is very familiar to me by now. And, like you said, comforting in some way.
Doesn't mean I don't want to eventually do something about it, but I can only see one solution.
 
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accountnamerequired

Member
Oct 9, 2023
83
Wanting things to stay how they are definitely makes sense, being able to predict the future in a way is comforting and changes can bring anxiety because we don't know how it's gotta affect us
 
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brokeandbroken

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2023
1,184
I actually just thought about it. Whenever life is going decent for too long it makes me uncomfortable. I've been pretty broken for so long that it's the only thing I'm familiar with. I find some sort of comfort in being low, like that's all I know, anything else feels almost wrong. It's almost like I don't want to get better because that would mean that I would have to get out of my comoft zone / step out of what's known to me. No clue if that makes any sense, but does any of you feel this way?
No. Any iota of happiness or laughter I have honestly depresses me further because I remember what I am missing. The whole feels that much deeper. The numbness goes away for a while and the real misery sets in.
 
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tiger b

tiger b

AI without the I
Oct 24, 2023
1,230
What the op says makes sense to me. I know I felt that way for a very long period of time.

The way I feel now doesn't give me comfort. What gives me comfort is knowing what is transitory.
 
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Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,816
I don't feel I'm numb
 
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